Post by Zeich Yajuu on Feb 5, 2017 22:49:29 GMT -5
A lot of you have noticed my absence of late. Normally I'm around in the chat, scolding people for getting out of hand, talking about my plans for the future, answering questions, etc. Normally I'm in constant work mode, jumping on gradings and trying to get stuff moving. I'm sure you've all noticed that I haven't been doing any of that lately. Truth be told, I've been kind of avoiding the site for a while now, popping on to check recent posts at the most, and usually avoiding the chat and obviously not getting any work done. I've had a lot on my mind, and for a while I've been weighing a heavy decision. Truth be told, I had come to my answer a while back, but I've lacked the confidence to go through with it. Today, I'm finally stepping forward, taking a deep breath, and getting it over with.
I am retiring. Not just from the staff, but from this site.
Over the years, I have watched this grow from a one-man show under Zou to something far more complex and amazing. I'd seen the advent of new organizations, player plots, a whole new race; I've seen amazing characters grow from nothing, and I've seen the community improve as time has gone by. Everything that's been done in that time might not all have been positive, and we've had road bumps here and there, but nonetheless, I was proud to be part of something so big, something so long-term. For more than five years I've worked with the players here to make this site wonderful, and for most of that time, you all have known me as a moderator, working hard to ensure that I could do my best for keeping the gameplay balanced and fair. I've done site organizations, race revamps, canon plots, systems creation for things such as Custom Items, etc. I've been working here for so long that the decision I have made here is a very difficult and a very painful one, because I am leaving behind a large amount of time and effort that I have invested into this.
I guess that it's only fair to explain the why as much as the what. To be honest, my time has become more and more limited; work has kept me busy, and between writing a completely from-scratch Pathfinder game for my friends, working on writing commissions to make ends meet, and finding what little time I can in the meantime for time with my boyfriend, it's been really difficult to find any time to write for the site.
But this is not the only reason. While this is one of the major reasons, there's more to it. Truth be told, what used to be fun, what used to be a privilege to work on all the time, has become tedious. It's become drudgery. It's become obligations and commitments, a full job in place of a volunteer positions. I come onto the chat, and I get bombarded with questions ranging from mechanical issues to requests to grade--because let's be realistic, the "can you check this before I post it" is a grade in all but name--to double-checking to make sure every little plot thing is okay. In the past, Zou used to run things very loosely; as long as you didn't break the overall plot/general story, you were cool to try new things. But when it comes down to--and I'm just picking an example I remember off the top of my head, not trying to pick on any specific member--asking what could be done to force a Shinigami to be drafted when the player chose to be drafted, it becomes exceedingly frustrating. I feel like I have to hold hands all the time, and I feel stressed out because every time I come on, it's always business, rarely fun anymore.
And then there's the sheer amount of workload. I know people have real lives, and so our mod team gets strained at times. I totally get that. But the rest of you don't seem to. When you submit three or four CIUs to "clarify powers" or "update to become more powerful" over the course of time, then it gets really wearing and becomes extra work. When you submit a new character every month or two, it becomes extra work. When there are disputes almost every time I come on because people are so obsessed with the technical details so that they can win, it becomes frustrating to log on and face more and more work. My own characters were rotting for a long time because I never had time to write, only to work. I have -six- characters. I play one constantly, two on and off, and the other three are still rotting. I just don't have the time to play most times.
So yeah. I just have no time anymore, I feel burdened by the sheer amount of work, and what was once a volunteer position to help and aid the site has become a job, and then become what feels nearly like obligated servitude. The obligation is my own; I have spent so much time and work on this site that I am loathe to give it all up. I may not be Zou, but in a way, I feel like this site is my child, my work, my accomplishments. I know it's not truly the case, but after everything I have put into it, I have a lot of investment in this site, and thus I feel obliged to keep going because of how much work I had put into it. It hurts a lot to think I may be leaving it behind, but it may be for the best. It may be time to move on.
What does this mean for the things I'm working on, the works in progress I've made? Let's do this one step at a time.
My characters, first of all. Zeich will simply be vanishing IC, for reasons unknown. Given his only real connection is with Kazura, this shouldn't create too many ripples. His slot for Fractured will become open in the event that the Type fills up, as well. Raion, on the other hand, will simply be retiring from his position out of grief at the loss of his wife. He will simply choose to go away from Seireitei, willingly leaving it behind. His position will be vacated and made available once more. Skoll has no real major ties yet, so he can simply vanish as well, the same as my other characters.
Second, my threads, particularly the canons and the BC plot. For Canons, I will be passing along information to Kento regarding them, and he is welcome to take that information and use it as he plans to to wrap up Z-3 and Z-4. For the BC event, I will be leaving a copy of my notes on the Beast-Realm and the thread that was meant to follow the first for them to use as they choose, if they choose to use it. It will be up to them to determine anything else regarding it from then on.
I will be officially leaving one week from today. In that time, I will be taking questions regarding tying up loose ends, but more importantly, if the staff has any issues they need to address, such as how something I've made works, particularly the BC, then I will be looking to answer and clarify those as well. I want to make this a smooth transition, even if it is a difficult one.
I hope you all can understand the weight of this decision, and what it means to me. It's not one that I make lightly, and it's a very hard one for me to make. I don't like leaving this all behind, all this work, all this time invested in this place, but it's just... it's not fun anymore. It's not rewarding. It's not enjoyable. And what little time I have anymore can't be dedicated to something I can't enjoy; I already have an IRL job to do that for me.
That being said, I cannot say that this is a permanent goodbye. No characters will be deleted, my accounts will remain active, and I will probably still check in from time to time to see how things are going. Maybe if I can get my life back on track and re-organized to allow more time, I might come back as well, but as a player, and not a staff member. Who knows what the future holds? We'll see.
With that, I wish you all a good evening, and in one week, I will give my farewell. Thank you all for the time you have shared with me here; I hope that I can pass the torch on to you all, so that you may move it forward and keep this site running long and strong.
I am retiring. Not just from the staff, but from this site.
Over the years, I have watched this grow from a one-man show under Zou to something far more complex and amazing. I'd seen the advent of new organizations, player plots, a whole new race; I've seen amazing characters grow from nothing, and I've seen the community improve as time has gone by. Everything that's been done in that time might not all have been positive, and we've had road bumps here and there, but nonetheless, I was proud to be part of something so big, something so long-term. For more than five years I've worked with the players here to make this site wonderful, and for most of that time, you all have known me as a moderator, working hard to ensure that I could do my best for keeping the gameplay balanced and fair. I've done site organizations, race revamps, canon plots, systems creation for things such as Custom Items, etc. I've been working here for so long that the decision I have made here is a very difficult and a very painful one, because I am leaving behind a large amount of time and effort that I have invested into this.
I guess that it's only fair to explain the why as much as the what. To be honest, my time has become more and more limited; work has kept me busy, and between writing a completely from-scratch Pathfinder game for my friends, working on writing commissions to make ends meet, and finding what little time I can in the meantime for time with my boyfriend, it's been really difficult to find any time to write for the site.
But this is not the only reason. While this is one of the major reasons, there's more to it. Truth be told, what used to be fun, what used to be a privilege to work on all the time, has become tedious. It's become drudgery. It's become obligations and commitments, a full job in place of a volunteer positions. I come onto the chat, and I get bombarded with questions ranging from mechanical issues to requests to grade--because let's be realistic, the "can you check this before I post it" is a grade in all but name--to double-checking to make sure every little plot thing is okay. In the past, Zou used to run things very loosely; as long as you didn't break the overall plot/general story, you were cool to try new things. But when it comes down to--and I'm just picking an example I remember off the top of my head, not trying to pick on any specific member--asking what could be done to force a Shinigami to be drafted when the player chose to be drafted, it becomes exceedingly frustrating. I feel like I have to hold hands all the time, and I feel stressed out because every time I come on, it's always business, rarely fun anymore.
And then there's the sheer amount of workload. I know people have real lives, and so our mod team gets strained at times. I totally get that. But the rest of you don't seem to. When you submit three or four CIUs to "clarify powers" or "update to become more powerful" over the course of time, then it gets really wearing and becomes extra work. When you submit a new character every month or two, it becomes extra work. When there are disputes almost every time I come on because people are so obsessed with the technical details so that they can win, it becomes frustrating to log on and face more and more work. My own characters were rotting for a long time because I never had time to write, only to work. I have -six- characters. I play one constantly, two on and off, and the other three are still rotting. I just don't have the time to play most times.
So yeah. I just have no time anymore, I feel burdened by the sheer amount of work, and what was once a volunteer position to help and aid the site has become a job, and then become what feels nearly like obligated servitude. The obligation is my own; I have spent so much time and work on this site that I am loathe to give it all up. I may not be Zou, but in a way, I feel like this site is my child, my work, my accomplishments. I know it's not truly the case, but after everything I have put into it, I have a lot of investment in this site, and thus I feel obliged to keep going because of how much work I had put into it. It hurts a lot to think I may be leaving it behind, but it may be for the best. It may be time to move on.
What does this mean for the things I'm working on, the works in progress I've made? Let's do this one step at a time.
My characters, first of all. Zeich will simply be vanishing IC, for reasons unknown. Given his only real connection is with Kazura, this shouldn't create too many ripples. His slot for Fractured will become open in the event that the Type fills up, as well. Raion, on the other hand, will simply be retiring from his position out of grief at the loss of his wife. He will simply choose to go away from Seireitei, willingly leaving it behind. His position will be vacated and made available once more. Skoll has no real major ties yet, so he can simply vanish as well, the same as my other characters.
Second, my threads, particularly the canons and the BC plot. For Canons, I will be passing along information to Kento regarding them, and he is welcome to take that information and use it as he plans to to wrap up Z-3 and Z-4. For the BC event, I will be leaving a copy of my notes on the Beast-Realm and the thread that was meant to follow the first for them to use as they choose, if they choose to use it. It will be up to them to determine anything else regarding it from then on.
I will be officially leaving one week from today. In that time, I will be taking questions regarding tying up loose ends, but more importantly, if the staff has any issues they need to address, such as how something I've made works, particularly the BC, then I will be looking to answer and clarify those as well. I want to make this a smooth transition, even if it is a difficult one.
I hope you all can understand the weight of this decision, and what it means to me. It's not one that I make lightly, and it's a very hard one for me to make. I don't like leaving this all behind, all this work, all this time invested in this place, but it's just... it's not fun anymore. It's not rewarding. It's not enjoyable. And what little time I have anymore can't be dedicated to something I can't enjoy; I already have an IRL job to do that for me.
That being said, I cannot say that this is a permanent goodbye. No characters will be deleted, my accounts will remain active, and I will probably still check in from time to time to see how things are going. Maybe if I can get my life back on track and re-organized to allow more time, I might come back as well, but as a player, and not a staff member. Who knows what the future holds? We'll see.
With that, I wish you all a good evening, and in one week, I will give my farewell. Thank you all for the time you have shared with me here; I hope that I can pass the torch on to you all, so that you may move it forward and keep this site running long and strong.
