The Road to Redemption is Paved with Cheese

[Luke Clyburn]

”This can’t be the right place.”

Traffic honked and drifted along the road behind him. Luke simply stood there on the sidewalk. A piece of paper in his hand, shifting in his grip from the breeze. Luke looked confused. Looking at the address written on the paper, checking a street sign, and once again checking his phone, all did nothing to de-confirm the fact that he was right where he needed to be. But this wasn’t at all what he was expecting to see. That obnoxious yellow sign. The black text. The orange awning. This… isn’t what I was expecting…

A waffle house.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Luke frowned. This had to be a mistake. Was he being taken for a fool? While it was already odd seeing a Waffle House somewhere outside of America or on Liveleak, he found it even odder that the VIP he was searching for would be holed up in a place like this. ”Tch.” Luke grumbled as he stepped up to the front door. He was going to get to the bottom of this. Opening the door up and stepping inside… okay, this was different. What should have been the normal interior of a restaurant was instead… an entire forest. Luke blinked. Looked to his left and to his right. A massive forest?

”Okay… what the hell?”

[Kitai Yoru]

"This is a betrayal of the highest order!" Kitai said to a group of forest animals, and two clones of himself. He was wearing bits and pieces of what a military general might have worn at some point in time, with a military hat, an over abundance of medals on his chest, and a riding crop. He was pacing back and forth in front of a table that looked like it was made from a tree stump, with a well laminated surface, and a holographic display, portraying the events of when he was jumped by the arrancar woman.

"We know that she is green, affiliated with Nacho Land, and likes to spam the ever loving fuck out of Ceros. I can only conclude she is in some way related to Marik. This means he has betrayed the Kitai Shop!" He had the riding crop in both hands, bending it as if trying to snap it. "That son of a bitch had three items on layaway, darn it!" As if that were the most important thing that happened. "He blew up the shop, and sent me back to Hell for a few minutes! I need options!" He said, pointing to a rabbit with an army helmet. It tilted its head as it looked at Kitai.

"What- NO! We sell weapons of war and mass destruction, not do that! We have standards, my word." Kitai said, recoiling in horror at the suggestion. The two clones palmed their face at his antics. "Look, we have a few options, but most of them involve kicking down their doors and blasting them until they get the point. They've already proven that you're not invincible once, they could do it again." The unreasonably handsome clone told the Lunatic. "I could find out if they have anything to hack and take over that way, delaying any response to your invasion." Jack, Kitai's mod soul clone, was the most dangerous thing he'd ever made.

Jack was a virus, of the mind and of computers. He was a non combatant most of the time, but he could topple empires if given the chance. That being said, the other clone wasn't that far behind. "Huhehehe. I don't know why you don't just send me to Hueco Hollow to kill them all. They gotta sleep some time, right?" Jill, a female version of himself, suggested with a twisted grin on her face. She could do it too. She was as stealthy as they came, and was faster than a bullet. Deadlier too. He didn't doubt that she could kill a few before they caught on to her antics.

Kitai, however, shook his head. "No no no." He said, shooting down their ideas. "Those are too easy. We need something flashy, something that they'll remember and look back on, questioning why they were ever stupid enough to shoot me in the face! They can't remember that if they're dead! Or if they're all suddenly Jack!" He told the two, plus a few. The animals were very necessary for the conversation. He was going to continue on, when said animals, plus Jack, turned their heads in the same direction. Creepy.

"It seems you have your first customer." Jack said, as the animals began to walk off to serve this new person. Kitai could only palm his face with a sigh. "Fiiine. We're talk about this more later." Kitai started his way towards the kitchen, when he paused. "And Jack, if they turn out to be an enemy, find out where he lives and send Jill there. I'm getting sick of getting jumped in my own place of business." With that said, he made his way towards the Kitchen, leaving the two with twisted smirks on their faces.

As Luke walked into the building, he would see that, indeed, there was forest all around. The woods were thick with foliage, and a dirt path was all he could see before him. The door he entered through didn't look like it was attached to anything, as the forest continued on around it. The bushes rustled, shaking. It grew more and more intense, before... A rabbit peeked its head out. It was wearing an army helmet. It hopped up to him, stopping three feet in front of him. Three more critters crawled through the bushes, a raccoon, a fox, and a squirrel. They all looked at him with eyes that betrayed their intelligence. They could think.

But before he could ponder that for too long, a bear popped out of the bushed to his left. A bear with a leather-bound menu, with gold embroidering, and the name of the restaurant written in cursive on the front; 'The Kitai Brand Waffle House'. The bear looked at him with all the deadpan of a well seasoned waiter, gestured for him to take it, and left the moment he did. The forest critters before him gestured for him to follow, leading him to a nearby table. The chairs were all forest themed, with green leather cushions on them, looking like small trees.

The table was the same, looking like part of a massive tree stump. If he bothered to look through the menu, he'd see so many cheese based dishes, you'd swear he made most of them up. Like the cheese smoothie. Then, at the last few pages, were all of the waffle and breakfast options. The prices were higher than normal, but you weren't just paying for the food, you were paying for the atmosphere! Luke could choose something, or he could just stay seated, with an angry rabbit leering at him until he did. Either way, Kitai would show up twenty minutes later with a few plates of food, and the bear carrying a few more.

"Welcome to the Kitai Brand Waffle House! I hope you brought your wallet!~"

[Luke Clyburn]

During the process of looking into who were the current big names in Karakura Town, there was one that kept coming up that Luke continued to dismiss. Having been gone for the last three years, frozen under the earth taking a regenerating dirt nap, Luke was way behind on the times. After accepting the position of Xcution’s Chief Strategist he had immediately gotten to work reading into every bit of gossip around town. Who were the big players on the street, what had gone on over the last three years, what sort of moves had been made. If a Fullbringer farted in the city in the last few years, Luke would have wanted to know about it. Naturally, of course, the names that Luke knew best were the ones that he wanted to know the most about.

What had Kazura Uzaki been up to? What about Yoko Kusanagi? Where had Impossible wound up? There was even that Quincy who wasn’t a part of that lunatic cult, Asmoskon. All these people and more Luke had an interest in getting the dirt on for more reasons than just gossip. His reasons for joining Xcution were simple. It wasn’t to make money or to become a professional killer. Walk in the shadows for a better tomorrow. He had needed allies. Luke Clyburn might have thought of himself as the worlds most powerful Bount, but he recognized
that he alone wouldn’t be able to fight the Vandenreich if they chose to glass Karakura.

He needed allies. A faction that had his back. He had no right to criticize Xcution for their methods with the blood that was on his hands. What’s more, his relationship with the CEO meant that he had substantial pull within the faction. Meaning he could change things. But that came later. Right now his priority was acquiring powerful allies to fill Xcution’s ranks. Stuff the faction full of powerful warriors that could take the fight to the Quincy. Uzaki Enterprise wasn’t able to do what needed to be done. They didn’t have the ruthlessness to slit the Vandenreich’s throat.

But in his quest to find these allies and individuals that could fill Xcution, Luke either came up with dead ends or problems. Yoko Kusanagi was gone, and would have probably beaten Luke’s ass for offering her a position. Taka was long gone. Same with Timor. This Asmoskon character seemed like he had potential, though Luke was confused as to why he had abandoned Xcution in the past. But in his research, there was one name that kept being brought up. One that Luke outright dismissed every time it came up in a report, or if a assistant said it right to his face, because of the outright absurdity of it. Yet the more he looked into it, the more there was validity to the claims he was seeing.

No. It was impossible. It literally wasn’t possible that the dairy slurping goon of UE was still around or had made a name for himself…

”What is this?”

Luke asked himself, standing in the entrance way, staring straight ahead into what was a forest. Inside the Waffle House. The bushed near him began to rustle, drawing his attention, as something made its way through the underbrush towards him. The underbrush inside of a Waffle House. A rabbit, a god damn rabbit, leapt out three feet in front of him and just looked at him. Is that a fucking army helmet? Luke was not hiding his look of dumbfounded disbelief, jaw hanging open as he stared at the rabbit and the rest of the Over the Hedge cast that came crawling out of the woodwork. Inside of a Waffle House.

But before Luke could say anything, something heavy moved to his left causing him to look and jump a little. Is that a fucking bear?? Luke asked himself before looking at what it was holding. Is that a menu? The Kitai Brand WHAT? the longer this fiasco went on the more confused Luke became. Why did he take the menu like it was a normal thing. Why was he letting these animals lead him to a table that he was now sitting at? Why was the rabbit glaring at him? What in the fuck was a cheese truffle??

”Uh… waffle…’s. Plural. With a coffee? Black?” Luke asked the rabbit. He’d already lost. The insanity of all of this had completely and utterly rattled him. Was he having a fever dream?

”This is ridiculous.”

Waiting around twenty minutes, sitting at that table, for his food to arrive. Then something clicked. Luke always described the sensation of sensing reiatsu as finding fires in an endless darkness. Luke blinked. He could only describe what he suddenly felt as a dense mass. Denser than a water tank. And wrong. Luke didn’t have the vocabulary to properly describe what he suddenly felt. Something thick, and rotten, suddenly made itself apparent to him in the restaurant. And before he knew it, the man he was looking for was standing before him. A bead of sweat made its way down the side of Luke’s face.

He was a Bount. Consuming souls was a part of who he, regrettably, was. During a bad period of his life he’d resorted to feeding on Hollows, sort of a self inflicted punishment. An experience so bad it forever stained Luke’s bangs a white color. He had described the taste of Hollow souls as akin to swallowing a ball of cotton used to soak up vomit. But this was worse. What was standing before him would taste so much worse. It made his mouth dry and almost nauseous. But it was him. Just looking at him, Luke could tell. And for some reason this made him angry.

Eyeing the plates of food and scowling a little, Luke collected himself. ”Well you’ve gone and made a name for yourself. Didn’t like being Kazura’s pitbull anymore, Kitai?” Luke asked. Why was he so irritated all of a sudden?

[Kitai Yoru]

The bunny saluted the man, after he found his voice, and went to relay the order to the creator. Kitai received the order, as he was in the middle of cooking up his famous cheese truffles, and could only ask, "He wants waffles and coffee? Who comes to a waffle house for just waffles!?" He said angerly, throwing the batter into a waffle maker. Well, the customer is always right. Except when they're not, but that isn't a topic up for debate yet. As if he'd only bring waffles. That's stupid. Bacon, eggs, cheese bread, cheese crisps, garlic cheese. WHY DOES HE ONLY WANT WAFFLES!?

Either way, he showed up with the customer's order. For some reason the man looked familiar, and not just because the look of sickened disgust plastered on his face. Something he was used to by now, but that wasn't the reason this guy looked familiar. He couldn't place his finger on it. The plates went on the table, the bear was quite good at setting them, and then the man opened his mouth. Kitai's smile strained, thinning at the mention of Kazura. "Whelp. There goes the pleasant conversation. I need more root beer for this talk." He placed his two plates on the table, before walking over to a tree.

He pulled out two spigots from his jacket pocket, and slammed them into seemingly random parts of the tree. He scooped up some dirt, rubbed it against the palms of his hands, and two mugs were made. He held one mug under the one spigot, and root beer flowed from it, with the other got coffee from the other. He returned, slammed both against the table, and slid the coffee to the man he vaguely recognized. "First of all, I was a founding member of UE, and not some attack dog!" He said, taking a seat across from the man.

"Second, there's nothing wrong with Pitbulls, even though I don't understand his music!" He took a swing of his root beer. His sweet, sweet root beer. "Third, yeah, I made a name for myself after Kazura." Kitai squinted at the man, failing to recognize him. "I don't know quite who you are, but I'm guessing you worked for Kazura. What, have you been living under a rock for the past four years? HA!" He said with a laugh, wondering just where this guy had been hiding since he left UE.

He grabbed a cheesy bun, and sunk his teeth into the gooey confection, before making a hand gesture to one of the raccoons. It scaled a tree, before a metal pot labeled 'syrup' slammed onto the table. "After I left Kazura, and UE as a whole, I died trying to kickstart magical World War Three. I died, and got sent to Hell. After spending a year down there, I managed to break out, my power turned from lighthearted fun, into a tool to survive, and stay out of Hell for as long as inhumanly possible." He downed three more cheese buns during this impromptu speech, with a far-off look in his eye.

He froze up. He could still feel the teeth of the Guardians, as they devoured him, day after day. His body shook hard for a minute, before he regained his composure. "So, what about you... you? I have no idea who you are. How about you enlighten me to who you are and why you're here? I'm guessing it isn't to pay me, since you look like your apartment gets blown up on a weekly basis." He started working on the garlic cheese. Not garlic cheese bread. Raw cheese, with garlic in it. He looked Luke in the eye, as he took a bite out of it.

[Luke Clyburn]

God it really was him. Despite the abhorrently repugnant reiatsu that was radiating off this man, still detectable like a bad smell even after Luke retracted his sixth sense, it was abundantly clear that this was Kitai based on the way he was speaking. The white haired schizo took a seat across from Luke, seemingly offended by the other mans comment, and began to cope about the reality of his time at UE. Luke just blinked. Founding member when you were essentially just his muscle. The Bount thought to himself as he lifted the coffee to his lips. He needed something else in his mouth. He could still taste Kitai’s reiatsu. His appetite for waffles were certainly fucking gone at this point.

Half of what Kitai yapped about didn’t matter at all. Luke just stared at him with disbelief. Is this really the guy? He just couldn’t believe it. One of the biggest players in Karakura Town, not just in terms of power but with more finances than some countries in the world, was this absolute buffoon in front of him? No, it was real. Luke had to accept it. Insanity and genius were two sides of the same coin. If it were entirely up to him, Luke would have just written Kitai off. But with all the evidence presented in front of him, there was no denying that Xcution would benefit by having this guy in their ranks.

"So, what about you... you? I have no idea who you are.”

Luke blinked. What did he just say? Luke stared at Kitai, wide eyed and lips pursed, as he went over that sentence again in his head. ”What did you just say?” Luke asked, shaking his head in disbelief quickly, before slamming both his hands down on the table. ”What do you mean you don’t know who I am?? We worked together you root beer obsessed goon! Luke Clyburn! L-U-K-E Clyburn! I was a Manager at UE too! What do you mean you don’t remember me??” Luke almost shouted in an offended tone. How could Kitai not remember him? Or recognize him??

Yes, Luke had been gone for a few years but this guy should have remembered one of his coworkers. Throwing his back against the table seat, Luke just looked at Kitai with an exhausted look. He wasn’t good at dealing with people like this. Luke was normally a rather serious person. He had his moments where he could be a dork, but he wasn’t silly. Except when he was around Shizuka, but that was a thing both of them did. But this guy was like a overdose of silly. The worst kind of person for Luke to be up against. He needed to get this discussion back on track.

”Pay you? No, that’s actually why I’m here.” Luke said with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose and eyes. He was getting a headache. Kitai’s attitude and god awful reiatsu were a horrible combination. ”Here’s the deal and I’m gonna get straight to the point. I don’t work for Uzaki anymore and neither do you. I’m here with an offer from another party.” Reaching into the pocket of his suit, Luke pulled out a solid black business card and, with a clack, placed it on the table and slide it to Kitai. Shizuka was very firm that this was supposed to be how it was done.

”I’m here as a representative of Xcution, and I would like to extend an employment opportunity to you.” god he was bad at this. ”But not as an assassin. No. I want to have you placed as our Chief of Research. You’d be in charge of Xcutions research and development department. Your engineering and… marketplace additions… are enough of a demonstration of your capabilities.”

[Kitai Yoru]

Kitai could only laugh at the indignant outrage of the man who claimed to have been a former coworker. He wiped a tear from his eye, as he placed his mug down. "There were lots of managers back at UE. Too many to remember, and the ones that I interacted with didn't leave enough of an impression on me to matter! And those that did were the ones who were trying to kill me. You don't sound like you had the spine for that." The madman told him with a grin. Those were good times. "Besides, the only important person at that company was Kazura. He was the best and worst part of that place."

Fond memories. He enjoyed his interactions with the CEO, but they were few and far between. His fellow employees only interacted with him when they were forced, only on missions assigned by Kazura himself. Then there was that mod soul, and her Nakabaki mod soul friend who challenged him, and ended up collapsing a building or three. Come to think of it, he was probably responsible for a lot of the collateral damage in his fights. Between that and the plane crashes, he blamed a lot of the things he did on his opponents and got paid for it. 'Huh. I'm surprised Kazura didn't fire me before I quit. Weird guy.'

Still, he listened to this 'Luke, L-U-K-E' character, strange guy, when he pulled out something that made Kitai's hair stand on end. A black card, one that he well recognized. He couldn't help the twitch he made as he eyed the card like a long forgotten memory. He reached out, almost hesitant, as if it would disappear the moment he touched it. But it was real. For the first time since he showed up, Kitai's smile fell from his face, a frown where his usual manic grin was.

He barely heard Luke's sales pitch as he stared at the card. He had one once. So long ago. They were similar, so very similar. Kitai's hand glowed, and the card did the same. It was a special card, one infused with reiatsu. There wasn't enough to be dangerous, but it was enough to make it special. To make it unique. Frustration overtook Kitai. There was something wrong here. He twisted in his seat, cupping a hand to his mouth. "JEN!" He yelled out to the silent forest. It was maybe two seconds before he got his response.

"What?" A person walked out from behind a tree. A person that could only be described as Kitai's sister strolled up to the table, looking none too impressed at being called here. "Give this to Jay. I want to know if this matches." He handed her the card. She snatched it, and vanished without another word. It wasn't teleportation, it wasn't invisibility, it was just pure raw speed. If Luke got up, or protested this in any way, the animals around them would react. A bear, standing on its hind legs was leering at the man from behind a tree. Half its body was obscured by the tree, but the whites of its eyes could be seen, its eyes were so wide.

Kitai returned his attention back to Luke. "So, L-U-K-E. You want me to join the guild of calamitous intent? The den of thieves, murderers, and manipulators?" The Lunatic was visibly angry. "You want me to join your failing group because of my financial status and my weapons. Fine. I get that." He said, calming down, grabbing his mug for another sip of the precious liquid. "You've hyped me up, but you've forgot the most important part of your pitch." He told the Xcution spokesman. "The hook. You want someone like me to join you? What's my incentive? As far as I'm aware, I'm more well off than you. Why should I join you and your crew?"