Shattered, Broken, but Not Defeated [Hanako, Fuuko]

[Hanako Nozawa]

If only dreams lasted for longer~

So many questions ran through the mind. Where was this? Who was that voice? What were all these smells? Sterile, many, cold, warm, bright, dark, loud! All of these things pounded relentlessly at the very corners of sanity and thought. They never ceased, but only grew persistent as time meandered on with no rhyme or reason. Hours? Days? Weeks? It was an enigma, one with no conceivable answer as space itself became fleeting as the petals carried on the wind between one's fingers.

If only~

Pain. Finally, pain broke through it all. Agonizing, sickly pain. Pain that chased away the pleasantness of dreams only to replace it with the uncomfortable sterility of the real. Underneath the too warm, too heavy embrace of a blanket, pain reminded her that she was still here at last. It reminded her of what was done, and also of what was not. Her dry, parched throat ached with her first attempt at speaking, coming out with more pain in a brief croak. Footsteps answered her pathetic voice, but the sterile lights that were supposed to help were only blinding. She blinked, eyes unused to being opened for some unknown amount of time, and reached up with her... one arm...

Panic rose, and with it the pain heightened! She tensed, and grasped clumsily at the blanket covering her body! Alas, it came away just before the other had reached her, and she settled again with realization that... No, that had not happened. She was merely bandaged, tightly so, but everything was still there underneath the gauze and the sling. Hands came gingerly to her shoulder, causing her to flinch away and seethe in yet more pain.

"I'll be back with the doctor!" She didn't recognize the man's voice, but his words held some meaning. As her eyes finally adjusted, she caught sight of his white and black robes before the white curtain was closed again around her bed, and the pieces fell into place. Her mind caught up to the reality with that her body was already well familiar. She lowered her hand to prop herself up, grunting at the strain and the pain her movement caused but driven still by the need to move herself.

"I'm glad~" That voice! Disembodied, ethereal, but strangely just as familiar to her as her own. "You shouldn't push yourself. She'll be here soon enough~" A softness and warmth enveloped around her when the voice spoke, one much more pleasant than the oppressive weight of the hospital bed linens. Her eyes swept to the side, only for abject reality to come crushing down on her. On the table beside her bed, what remained of her zanpakutō had been carefully laid out on a cloth.

Hanako's eyes filled with as much pain as her body, or maybe more. All of her decisions, all of her mistakes, everything she had done weighed down on her heavier than any fatigue, and the consequences lay in pieces before her. Her hand came to her mouth, then brushed upwards to her eyes. Quiet, weary sobs soon followed.

If only~

[Satoshi Fuuko]

Fuuko did not spend much time in the actual hospital  that sat inside of the yonbantai. She was familiar with its walls. She had a pretty good direction sense, but she wasn't there a lot. When she was just starting out, her lack of healing meant that she wasn't useful to anyone there, really. Her life as a shinigami was spent mostly as a janitor, and most of that time as a janitor was spent in the sewers. She was probably more familiar with the layout underneath  the Gotei Thirteen than above it. Now that she was a third seat, a lot of her actual time was spent doing paper work. There was a lot  of that and she was good at it. Her desk, unlike a lot of others of her station, or even above it, was hardly filled with the stacks and stacks of bureaucracy. 

When Fuuko was needed in the hospital it was usually to give someone a blood transfusion or donation. The unique ability of her zanpakutou meant that if someone needed new or better blood, she was the best person for the job. At least, her zanpakutou, was. Fuuko didn't love how much of an ego Shukketsubuki got after a transfusion, but if it helped someone, that was fine with Fuuko. The other reason that Fuuko might be seen in the hospital was because with all the blood she could, essentially, get a head count on people. With her sharp nose able to pick out different scents just based on their blood, it was easy for Fuuko to see who was in and who was out. it made being out on the field that much easier. It also gave her an opportunity to scold "repeat offenders" or those who were habitually in the clinic. Taking temperature of who was coming and going also gave her information for all of the things she was interested in outside of her normal duties. 

Her sense of smell regarding blood was so keen, in fact, that while she was in her office filling out some paperwork, her nose twitched. She set down her pen and stamp and lifted her head. Her nose twitched and she took in a deeper whiff of air and let her nostrils fill with a familiar irony scent. Fuuko popped up and slapped her hands down on her desk. "Hanako-chan!?" She grabbed her zanpakutou and was at the clinic in a flash. 

Fuuko was never a particularly quiet  person. When she had something to say, she said it. When she had something to do, she did it, regardless of what it was or how it needed to be accomplished. At this moment, her normal volume and bombast was turned up a few notches as she stood holding a clipboard dressing down one of the nurses. "She was where!? With who!? What the fuck was happening!?" That was the most intelligible parts of the string of epithets Fuuko was laying down. 

There was more yelling and more sounds of people being shoved aside in the wake of the angry blonde. Most, when they saw her, were smart enough to give her a wide berth, but when she caught the doctor entering the room, she grabbed him by the back of the labcoat and tossed him out of the room. "Oi! Fuck off!" She barked and  kicked the door shut. She whipped the curtain open, practically tearing it off. When she looked at Hanako, bandaged up, she froze. 

She looked Hanako up and down and then glanced at the broken zanpakutou. 'W-What the fuck!?" Fuuko muttered with a quivering lip. She quickly pursed them and marched forward. "W-What happened!?" She barked, worry in her voice. "They said you got pulled in from Karakura Town. Are you alright!? What can I do to help!?" Fuuko barked at Hanako in rapid succession. 

[Hanako Nozawa]

Sure enough, the disembodied prediction proved true. Within minutes, she could hear hurried footsteps from the other side of the curtain. A scuffle between two someones; then the thin sheet of fabric keeping her grief private was torn away by the familiar sight of the loud blonde medic. Hanako's head jerked up at the sudden orders, her face a sodden and swollen mess in a way she had never let another Shinigami see before. Her long, black hair was tangled and matted from lying in the hospital bed, and small kisses of discoloration still clung to her fingertips -it was a wonder how she hadn't succumbed to frostbite. She sniffed, and her lip quivered powerfully against the rising tide of emotion behind it. She tried to choke down her pain, to make herself presentable to her beautiful senpai, but it was just too strong to contain.

"Let it out~" To call the voice a betrayal seemed apt at the moment, but for what it was worth, it truly was what she'd needed. The dam burst, and Hanako's sobs broke louder. With her one good arm and ignoring the ache in her legs, she fell forward into Fuuko's midsection and clung for any sense of comfort she might have to give.

It was several minutes before she had cried herself out. By then, if Fuuko hadn't pulled away on her own, Hanako had well and made an embarrassment of herself. When she finally straightened up again, and took the pressure off her aching lower body, she was even more of a mess. Several swipes with the sleeve of her loose hospital robe aimed to clean the ick from her face, though she wasn't entirely successful. Even so, she still looked up to Fuuko, her large, blue eyes pleading for comfort and understanding.

"I think you should tell her, aneue~" Again, that voice was right, even if she didn't want to think about it any more. Why couldn't she just go on with her life, ignore that it'd happened, and maybe take Fuuko to enjoy wine and a bath? It would be so much easier...

"I... fucked up." Hanako sniffled, her own voice still dry and hoarse. The minutes she'd spent crying had only made it worse. "I wasn't supposed to stay if something happened. I... I didn't think." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, only to be reminded just how painful that would be. "N-Noone else was there, so I... I thought I could help." Her posture drooped as she sank back into her memories, and a few scant sobs returned. "Noone came for us. So many Hollow; all the Quincy... U-Ume-chan and Shindazu-taichou..." Her words trailed off, and she slowly looked back up with a troubled expression. She reached out with her senses, but in the yonbantai quarters, there were too many Shinigami to sift through all at once. Instead, she turned to Fuuko for help.

"What happened to them?" Her voice squeaked with worry. If she was in such bad shape from only a single attack from the Arrancar, then what of the other two!? "Are they al- alright?" She had to stop herself from thinking the worst.

"You really should be more worried about yourself, dummy~" There was a distinct, somber laugh in the voice's tone this time.

[Satoshi Fuuko]

Fuuko's golden eyes widened as she saw Hanako begin to stir. That subtle moment of deciding whether or not to hold back the emotional pain in spite of the physical. When it broke for Hanako, Fuuko met her and grabbed her. She used her strong arms to pull her into a tight hug, giving Hanako the full breadth of her soft chest to sob upon. One hand firmly secured around Hanako's waist to keep her safe, like the locking mechanism on a roller coaster. Her other hand combed through the tangled mess of Hanako's hair, deftly weaving through any knots and gnarls so that Fuuko only provided an affectionate stroke. Other than Fuuko's heartbeat, which slowly eased its pace the longer the silence went on, only the murmur outside the room and a soft brushing of lips against head could be heard as Fuuko gently kissed and caressed Hanako until she was ready to talk. 

"Ehh?" Fuuko blinked when Hanako finally spoke. She didn't really understand, but Hanako's words helped piece things together a bit. Though, it also, somehow, seemed to get more puzzling as the story continued. "Yer goin too fast!" Fuuko barked and used a firm grip on Hanako's shoulder to guide her back to the bed. She eased her down and then sat next to her. "Who the fuck is Ume-chan?" Fuuko asked. "And... Captain Shindazu?! She's supposed to be missin! You saw her!? She was there?!" Fuuko shook her head. "Hanako-chan... what the hell happened?" Fuuko spoke softer. She stood up and looked at Hanako and grabbed a light to shine it in her eyes, to make sure she wasn't still out of it physically. 

"If yer still hurt, lie back down! You ain't gotta be tough right now! Just... focus on gettin better!" Fuuko encouraged. She pursed her lips. "D-Dont make me give you a reason to be here!" Fuuko said, forcing a smile and a half-hearted shake of her fist. She looked away and shut her eyes. "I ... didn't know..." She said, almost growling the words. "If I woulda known, I would have torn a fuckin hole between worlds myself ta show up and make sure you were ok!" Fuuko turned her head away. 

"I just... can't be everywhere... Who the hell even let you into  Karakura Town after all!?" Fuuko demanded, looking back at Hanako, ready to fight. "Obviously I ain't gonna blame you. I would do the same thing and have when I was in yer shoes. A fuckin Academy student is gonna use any  excuse to run out to the human world! Fuck!" 

[Hanako Nozawa]

Strong, gentle hands pushed her by the shoulder until she was lying in bed again; the sweet relief of no longer fighting her injured body to sit up conflicting with the sore realization that she desperately wanted to move about. However, beyond her many discomforts, she was given pause by Fuuko's questions. Celes was supposed to have been missing? Since when? Did she go missing following the battle, or... As the pieces fell into place, she remembered something Ume had said in the lull before the fight with the Menos Grande: Celes had been reported MIA since Moscow. She let herself sink a little further into her own thoughts while Fuuko continued to perform a rudimentary examination that left Hanako blinking to chase away the excessively bright light.

Bereft of the correct words to say, Hanako reached for Fuuko's hand and held it softly with her one good -if tired set of fingers. She wanted to pull her back onto the bed with her, to have somebody warm to comfort her right now. Everything just seemed like too much all at once, too frightening to process in what felt like it had only been moments ago. Why, she could still see the Arrancar in her mind's eye. Remembering what had happened again, she gave Fuuko's hand a light tug.

"Could you stay here with me, please?" Hanako's fingers gently brushed over Fuuko's. She wasn't used to feeling so... so weak, so not in control of things. It was frightening, and that showed in her quickly changing expressions. She was glad to be alive, yes, and Fuuko's worry over her was truly endearing, but everything just felt so -so heavy. It weighed on her impossibly so. "I'll give a full report later. For now, just don't leave me alone." Hanako looked up at the blonde medic, her eyes swollen and puffy.

[Satoshi Fuuko]

Bereft with worry, among other emotions bubbling up within her, Fuuko had to tell herself that she needed to make sure Hanako was ok in the most meaningful ways. Her body, now that she was in the Yonbantai, she wasn't going to die. Fuuko wouldn't know what to do to fix a terminal injury anyway. She did, however, know how to give Hanako what she wanted. She set her light down and sat next to Hanko on the bed. 

"I ain't gonna leave until ya kick me out." She said and leaned in and hugged Hanako again. "I'm just glad yer safe. Whatever happned. However ya got here, that doesn't matter right now. I'm here." She said and squeezed Hanako a bit tighter, trying not to be too tight with her. Fuuko closed her eyes and rested her head against Hanako's head and just silently held her. 

Hanako would feel the comfort and warmth of Fuuko's body while she hugged Hanako. After a few moments, though, she would also feel something else. Like she was being hugged from both sides, squeezed affectionately between two warm bodies that were very soft, especially in a particular area. Fuuko didn't notice at first, but if Hanako looked, she would see that she was, indeed, being hugged by two different people. Fuuko was the obvious one, but the other one was... much different. 

The other woman hugging Hanako was pale faced. She had long, red hair, tattoos up her arms and horns sticking out of her head. She had pointy looking elf ears and wore something like a kendo outfit that was red and black. Her eyes were also closed, but were bright red and there was a smattering of blood on her face and even some dripping from the corner of her mouth like drool. 

[Hanako Nozawa]

Hanako felt relief wash over her as Fuuko joined her in the bed. The medic's warmth was a comfort she'd desperately needed right now, and her eyes slowly fell closed. They only opened again briefly to investigate the curious feeling of a second body on her bed, but for whatever reason, the horrific sight of the redheaded woman didn't frighten her. She felt like Fuuko, after all. So, cornered on both sides by love and warmth, she let her exhaustion take her again, and fell back into the blissful world of her dreams...

When she next opened her eyes, she lay in a very familiar place; one field of flowers that stretched as far as the eye could see underneath a moon shining so brilliant that it washed out the stars in the sky. Expecting to find her own painful injuries, she was surprised to sit up without a care or twinge, and she blinked against the ominous display of her subconscious. The warm embrace still clung to her, though like a distant dream, it was ever just so far that she could only get a taste of the memory.

"This dream again, huh?" Hanako mused aloud, drawing her legs up towards her chest before realizing she was no longer wearing her hospital gown; a black shikakusho had taken its place. A soft grin met the unfamiliar robes, then widened a little as she swept her now-uninjured hand through the nearby flowers. No two of the flora seemed alike, giving the impression of a wild field, but something this grand and well-kept could only be man made. A chilling wind blew, carrying with it a voice,

"You still think it's a dream, Aneue~?" The disembodied voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once, sending a shiver down Hanako's spine. Like always, she tried to reach out with her senses, to find hte source of the voice, yet none revealed itself to her. There was only herself in the field of flowers, and the moon staring overhead. "You're half-right, I suppose~"

"What else could it be?" Hanako retorted, her attention still on the flowers beside her. She believed these ones were called lavender; she loved the color.

"Just because you're asleep, doesn't mean you're dreaming~ It's just easier to talk with you like this~" The voice lilted playfully, though spoke in a somewhat formal or old fashioned style with a twinge of worry on its back. "I've told you this before~"

"Have you?" Her replies were still lackadaisical. This place was so peaceful, so safe. She liked being here. "And, if I'm Ane, then who are you? Imouto?" She chuckled along with the play on the voice's name for her.

"It's good to see that monster didn't take away your sense of humor~ You would be so much less fun without it~" A giggle followed, as ghastly as the rest of the words spoken by the voice.

"Alright, then, Imouto-chan~ If it's not a dream, then where am I?" The lilt came back in Hanako's voice this time.

"You~" She only returned a quizzical expression at the statement. "This is your world~ And mine~ It was made by you, and what you hold most dear~" She was still confused; in fact, growing more so by the moment as the voice explained. What she held most dear? What did she hold most dear?

"Come on~ If this place were what I hold most dear, there would be a lot more cuties running around~" Hanako challenged, falling into old habits to tease the disembodied voice in return.

"Aneue, you're smart enough to figure it out~" She picked up on a hint of irritation that time, though she still hadn't been able to figure out where the voice was coming from; not yet. It seemed...

"Oh, please~ As if flowers... Oh god..." The voice giggled again as the realization hit her. Her inner world was a god damn pun! After a few seconds of internal cringe and embarrassment, Hanako broke into a quiet yet building throaty chuckle. Hers and the voice's twin laughter continued for some time, what felt like ages, until finally, they both had worn themselves out and trailed off back into comfortable silence. It was a little eerie how quiet this place was, she noticed.

"Well, not quite~ There's the pervert I know, however~" Still smiling wide as her face could manage, Hanako threw a hand up in a rude gesture at... well, at nothing in particular. More giggling followed, wringing further chuckles from her as she lowered her arm again and allowed herself to lay back in the field. The moon overhead was all she could see like this, but it was still beautiful to look at, just like the flowers. "Aww~ You're pretty, too~" The off-hand comment made Hanako cock her head a little in confusion, then her smile returned knowledgeably.

"So, that's you, huh? Well, you are very cute, Imouto-chan~" So, she was dreaming, in her inner world, and speaking to the moon. After all the classes she'd attended about communing with one's spirit, it didn't take her more than a few seconds to put the pieces together once she'd finally had them. "So, is this the part where I learn your name? Maybe make a big show of you transforming, and impress Fuu-chan while I'm at it~?" Her question was more suggestive than anything else.

"I'm afraid not~" The response got a pout out of Hanako. "You're not ready~" Now, she was growing angry. "If I told you my name now, the strain would only make your injuries worse~ You understand, Aneue~?" A soft sigh passed her lips, and Hanako nodded at the voice. She hated feeling like she was being talked down to, but she'd be damned if she didn't know exactly what those words meant.

"Not ready, huh?" Hanako stretched herself out, and rest each hand clasped behind her head like a pillow so that she was more comfortable. "Then, what is this? If I'm not ready, then why are we speaking?" Her tone was a little accusatory, though it wasn't wholeheartedly mean-spirited. She genuinely wanted to know.

"I've been trying to speak with you for a long time~" That answer surprised her. "Like I said, it's easier when you're asleep~ You don't resist as much~" Hanako's expression furrowed, and grew concerned at that statement. She sat up, craning her neck to keep looking at the moon as she grew more angry,

"What's that supposed to-

"-mean?" Pain wracked her body again. Startled awake by the inner machinations of her own mind, Hanako's eyes flew open only to be graced by the sight of Fuuko's chest held so near to her. She didn't want to think about the bit of drool, or the feeling of what was clearly its source in the corner of her mouth. No, instead, she ignored the soreness and the fatigue and tightened the grip of her one good arm around Fuuko's midsection, and nuzzled further into her soft and warm skin. Briefly, her mind turned to the pieces of her zanpakutō, laying broken on the table behind her still.

"Fuuko," her voice was dry and raspy again. "Are you awake?"

[Satoshi Fuuko]

Fuuko opened her eyes and when she did, Shukketsubuki wasn't there. She tilted her head and looked down at Hanako, who nestled into her bosom. She smiled. The drool didn't go unnoticed. Maybe under different circumstances Fuuko might tease Hanako about it. Today, however, it was best to just let things go. It seemed like this was the best thing Fuuko could actually do to help Hanako heal. 

"I am." Fuuko whispered. "Why are you?" She asked and returned the hug. "If the bed was big enough, I'd just take a nap with you. Since it's not, I guess this will just have to do." She said. "I guess I'll just have to let you use me as a pillow for as long as you need to. It's a good thing I doubt my arms will get tired." Fuuko mused. She glanced over at Hanako's broken weapon. Even though she couldn't see or hear what Hanako could, she could feel  the weapon. Like an aura that radiated. She could tell, from her own experiences, that Hanako was close to learning her zanpakutou's name. 

She just hoped that this wasn't a setback. Fuuko hoped that this would push Hanako to learn her zanpakutou's name even quicker. She was sure, at least, that Hanako's zanpakutou wasn't nearly  as obnoxious as Fuuko's was. Fuuko exhaled and ran her fingers through Hanako's hair.  "I know you'll get better fast. The quicker you do, the quicker we can train together." Fuuko said with a smirk. "It's been a while since we've really gotten hot and sweaty together, right?" Fuuko said, finally unable to keep her teasing nature at bay. 

[Hanako Nozawa]

Fuuko's voice sent another wave of relief through her. It was comforting to have someone here for her- with her. It gave her a strong, solid foundation upon which to lay out her problems, sort through them, and answer them one at a time. She loved this. She never wished to lose this feeling. Of course, that didn't stop the pain from reminding her of her injuries as Fuuko's words themselves made her chuckle, a gesture which itself was cut short by a groan.

"It has. We'll do it again as soon as I'm better." There was no playful tone to her tired voice, though the heart was very much there. The meaning was, as well, she was sure. "The world... is scary." Her grip tightened a little, instinctively. "I need to get strong, fast, so she'll... stop... teas-" Hanako trailed off, her lips continuing to move but making no sound more than the gentle breath that grazed Fuuko's skin. Her eyes had closed again, and her body relaxed one piece at a time as sleep took her ever deeper than before. True sleep, this time, where she could forget her worries for a little while and simply... be~

[Kitai Yoru]

Hanako Nozawa: 30 paragraphs, 30% bonus towards a thread with Fuuko
Satoshi Fuuko: 17 paragraphs, 10% bonus towards a thread with Hanako