Post by Nola Vilde on Apr 27, 2019 22:52:02 GMT -5
When she opened her eyes, the dream was still fresh in her mind. And it was the midday sun that greeted her on her own. Staring ahead at the rest of the barracks as she felt her limbs slowly rousing themselves one by one. She'd fallen asleep on that hill. Where she often decided to take her lunch. She looked around, and assured herself that this was. Indeed. The soul Society. She saw the skies, without blood, murder, or torment in them. She looked to the ground, and saw no flames, no bodies. No massacre.
She looked to herself. A hand slipped into her top to verify the lack of a hollow hole. And to her throat. And to her navel. How many holes had bored themselves into her bdoy in the past? And when her hand rested on her zanpaku'to, she felt its soft static greeting. And she knew she was still Nola Vilde, the shinigami. For the time being. And she felt so very tired. The Memory of that dream still haunting me. Of a hole in her chest. And her soul ripping itself apart.
Hotaru had recommended, at one time, seeking out an expert in this type of thing. She herself had no proficiency with the task. She had imagined any number of potential solutions. And one came, unfortunately, to her mind. The Squad designed for such explorations and solving of problems. And as she looked out at the barracks, she honestly felt so many memories of .....well.....thinking that the last shinigami she had trusted to try and fix her had intentionally broken her afterward.
But she had to do something.
Sighing a little, she knew she had to take these steps. And she motivated herself into it by thinking small. She'd just see if the Captain was available to be seen. She did not commit to seeing him. Talking to anyone about anything. No. This was just......seeing if the Captain was available. At least that's what she told herself as she stood up and began to head in the direction of the 12th division barracks. She knew the way well enough. Some of the people there she knew quite well.
So much more than she should.