Yetsuna Yishnir Power and Zan Description Tweek.

[Yetsuna Yishnir]

Character Name: Yetsuna Yishnir

Previous Real Age: 38

Current/New Real Age: 43

Previous Age of Appearance: 22

Current/New Age of Appearance: 22

New Ideals/Personality: none

New Appearance: none

New History: none

New Powers:

Edit to Zan: Sealed:  Ishio is a semi-unique blade because of its length. It is longer than the a katana, but it is still smaller than a nodachi. The blade is 42 inches long while the hilt is 8 inches totaling 47 for its final length. The handle is wrapped in black going up to its guard which features 8 small rectangles, 2 on each side, and colored similar to sand on a beach.

Addon to overall ability: Any stone she creates as the unique ability to strip whatever it comes in contact with of any element found within the confines of the earth such as carbon, metals, silicone, etc. Any object that comes in contact of the stone/sand well have roughly a half inch taken out of it per pass. Smaller objects such as weapons will begin to suffer structural damage, thus giving it a higher chance of breaking. (its difficult to try and take into consideration every kind of object or size so the skill is subject to some on the spot rulings)

When it comes to surfaces like walls and the ground the ability can cover a nearly indefinite area as long as the sand is a minimum of 4 inches thick. For every square foot of material stripped from a surface Yetsuna gets to summon one square foot of stone/sand with no cost. (I structured the skill like this because it will be easier to track than constantly adding onto whatever she is already manipulating.)

Every pass against someones release weapon will cause anywhere from a few centimeters to a few millimeters of damage depending on the size/thickness of the weapon. With each pass the chances of the weapon breaking or suffering damage from a blow increases, however the damage is repairable. The wielder of the weapon can repair any damage done to their weapon for a cost of 50 Reiatsu per pass her sand has done on the weapon.

Using a sword as a baseline a single pass will take off approximately a centimeter off the side or the tip. If the person she's fighting has a spiritual stat equal to or lower and her own. If the persons spiritual stat is higher than her own the amount taken off is halved. If they their stat is 50% higher than her own their weapon(s) are immune to the damage. This effect can only occur once per weapon per post.

Edit to function of Shikai armor: Rather than an all or nothing defense structure it is now based around how much they exceed her defense rating. If are enemy doesn't exceed her highest spiritual stat the damage is reduced by 85%. For every 100 SP they exceed her stat the damage effectiveness is increased 10% (i.e. if she has 1000 SpPr and her enemy hits her with a 1100 attack she blocked 75% of the damage). The lowest the damage reduction can reach is 25%.

Edit to Bankai (golem): I would like to increase the golems strength to 1000.

Edit to Rock Solid: While it does not affect her offensive ability it can still induce a cutback effect but is limited to hand and arm lacerations. Costs reduced to 200, 400, 600, and 1200 respectively. Cut back can only occur twice per person per use of this tech.

Edit to Atlas' Rage: If the enemies eyes are unprotected they run a chance of being partially blinded until they rub their eyes or do some other action to clear their vision. Sand also has a small chance of entering the airways and causing breathing complications, can be removed with healing.

Edit to Bankai Golem: The durability of the golems body is equal to her strongest spiritual at multiplied by an additional 25% or the golems own strengths, which ever is higher.

Edit to Falling to Pieces:

Edit to Shallow Grave: Damage is now based on the golems strength and 50% of Yetsuna's dominate spiritual stat. This skill also carries a high chance of causing bone fractures, broken bones, and/or internal hemorrhaging. Those with high strength (or other form of defense) have a reduced chance of suffering those injuries. Cost reduced to 200 (or 250)


Type Change: Soldier
    Reason: Yetsuna has been part of the main force for a (short) while and she has developed into a good solider. She follows the orders of her superiors, almost without question and she has identified the areas she was weakest and began to train more heavily in those areas.

Stat Changes:

Strength - [199] Points

Speed - [199] Points

Spiritual Pressure – [50 x 1.5] (75) points

Reiatsu Strength – [40 x .7] (28) Points

Light Aura - [80] Points

Dark Aura - [20] Points

Instinct - 75 Points

Senses - 50 Points

Energy sensory - 43 Points

Healing Expertise - [0] Points



What kind of update: Power Tweeking and stat update 

Current Rank: unseated 11

New Rank: unseated 11

[Zeich Yajuu]

Overall changes need to actually have mechanical definitions. What's "over time"? How much volume does it add to her earth? You need resistances for enemy-controlled techniques or Release weapons as well.

Rock Solid: 200/400/600/1200. Put a cooldown on how often you can cutback with it, such as two hits per use of this technique.

Atlas's Rage: I don't like % chances. Simply state that if their eyes are not protected, they can be partially blinded, and that breathing in the sand makes for more difficult breathing.

You've already extended your Bankai into your golem instead of improving your armor, so I will not be passing an increased durability. You've specifically even stated in your overall that your Bankai focuses on offense, not defense.

A 75% stat boost for your golem's durability? Nuh-uh. 25% at most. Think of it this way: with an RS build that gives you at least doubled RS, you'd have 800 x .75 = 1400 durability. Most things cannot reach that without heavy stat boosts or being niche types, giving you an almost invincible defense. So I will allow a 25% boost because this is your Bankai, but that is the maximum.

Pressure Forged: Okay, read what you wrote. Twelve posts of almost complete invincibility. No. Just... no! Invincibility is a big no here! This will not even remotely pass.

[Zeich Yajuu]

Next time you update a thread, please be sure to actually post saying you've all edits. It really helps us note where we are needed, instead of thinking that you're still working on this.

You still need ways for enemies to resist your overall ability. For example, superior offensive stat or superior Class.

I have already said that since your Bankai expands to offensive uses including a second attacker with its own stats as your overall ability's growth, I will not pass an improved armor durability.

Pressure Forged: Again, no. You have to spend 2000 Reiatsu and take a 25% speed cut just to get a single post of invincibility in your Shikai. Why on earth do you think that 200 Reiatsu per post and a 10% cut to speed is even remotely balanced to that? Simply put, I will not pass as second invincibility technique.

[Yetsuna Yishnir]

updated:
Edits to overall ability
dropped Bankai armor buff for change is armor mechanics
Added edits to Shallow Grave
dropped pressure forged replaced with a new tech
modified the cut back effect slightly.
added a type change

[Yetsuna Yishnir]

1/5 10:30 Ready for regrading.

[Zeich Yajuu]

Overall ability: You mention sand, but what sand? This is never mentioned anywhere. That being said, stripping all objects completely is sorta iffy, and oxygen is a no. I'll allow the materials but definitely not stripping oxygen. Other than that most of this looks okay.

Shikai Armor boost: No way. A constant 85% damage reduction at superior stat and only a modest cut for higher stats? This is almost Hierro-like in strength, and even that gets worn down and has bypasses. This has no holes in its defense aside from higher stats, so it needs to be reduced by a large amount.

Golem: How in the world is it learning multiple step techniques? It can't learn anything beyond Shunpo, so I think you're misinterpreting it. If you want to give it multiple uses of Shunpo, then you need to abide by the Step technique limits in Section 7. That means a maximum of three uses per post, no more. The Golem's strength can stay increased, however. The durability boost is fine as well.

I would rather have you keep Shallow Grave as it is; a 1000 Strength compression is nothing to sneeze at.

For your possible replacements:

Wrath of Gaia - No. You're playing with stats too much as it is, albeit indirectly, between your armor, your golem's stats, your techniques. Let's try a different tactic.

Grounded - Can you elaborate on this a bit more? A lot of your description makes no sense. For example: "The skill has a 2 post charge time, but can be used on the first post if desired." So what's the point of a charge-up if you immediately use it? Additionally, I do not like a 50% cost boost to RS, because that can give you absurd amounts of RS. Please stop playing the numbers game and try another tactic.

Type change would be fine. However you need to fix your stats, as soldier only boosts one and drops one, not multiple.

[Yetsuna Yishnir]

Yeah i kinda figured Rage of Gaia was a DOA; honestly I wasn't all that thrilled about it. as for the golem i didnt know it got shunpo, i made that so it could keep up with high speed combat, but if it can shunpo naturally I'll be more than happy to rip that out, thanks for the heads up.

Anywho when it comes to the Shikai armor I didn't boost any of the numbers both of those numbers are written into my app, I just added a sliding scale instead of a all or nothing so it functions a bit more logically like armor. I can reduce the DR a bit if youd really like but during her shikai her head is still exposed (granted small target). Is there anything in particular you'd like to see?

[Yetsuna Yishnir]

Dropped the two replacement techs in favor of the one I already have.
Dropped the golem step techs
made the syntax edit to overall ability
Changed to stat to reflect the new type.

Just waiting for some feedback about the armor then it should be ready for another run through.