Wingless Birds [JT, R]

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Hotaru smiled brightly at the girl who introduced herself as Nola. She did seem rather apologetic about what happened, so she didn't mind accepting her apology. It seemed that the girl herself didn't know what to do. Honestly, as Hotaru thought about it, the girl might not actually get talked to very often at all. She saw that her blue eyes were very striking, to say the least. Hotaru just stared into them.

The reason she probably didn't get talked to too much was her skin. It was a blazing color red, which Hotaru herself thought that it was rather intriguing. Others might think of her as some kind of demon, with skin that color. Hotaru could've as well, with how she was brought up, the skin color could've been a signal for her to be some weird kind of demon, but she let her beliefs like that slide once she got here.

When she realized what this place was, a haven for lost souls to find their way, she had met many people, all these weird new powers that they possessed, she gave up trying to understand this place. She just lived in it and tried to learn everything she could while she was here. Because of this, she tried to keep an open mind when she met anyone that was a lot different to her, for she assumed that as long as the soul was good, it would end up here.

After what seemed like five minutes, Nola timidly took her hand and Hotaru pulled her along, smiling at her while they started to half walk/half run down the hallway. She was facing the hallway, to make sure they were going the right way. She smelled water and didn't really remember that there was any body of water near the school. She turned back to see if Nola was there, and it turned out that she had disappeared.

Nola had disappeared. What?! She turned forward and looked down at a lake. Hotaru looked around and saw something that had looked very familiar to her. She had been to this lake before. She looked around and she remembered this park in Tokyo. She had met someone here many times before and it was a fond spot. Someone called out and she knew the phrase. Right after she heard it, there would be a slight smile before she felt arms around her waist.

She lightly jumped, but calmed. She knew she had heard the voice before and knew that it didn't mean any harm towards her. She turned around in the arms and saw Nola's bright blue eyes staring back at her. Hotaru would smile at her, enjoying the warmth from the hug. Nola looked happy and Hotaru was happy too. But, Hotaru closed her eyes to enjoy the warmth and when she opened them..... it wasn't what she expected.

What she heard wasn't the best thing she'd ever heard. She opened her eyes and saw Nola across from her, angrily walking towards her. When Hotaru tried to move, it seemed as if she was fozen. She fought slightly and nothing happened. Her body just refused to move. She had heard this before too. It was so familiar to her. Then, Nola started to scream at her for ruining everything. Everything?

Immediately, she knew what had happened between them to make her this angry. She had gone with the Quincy, the enemy of their race and betrayed the woman standing in front of her with the bright, beautiful blue eyes. She tried to clear her head, but the thing that cleared it for her was the sharp pain in her shoulder. Her eyes immediately got bigger as she looked down and saw the sword in her shoulder.

Why would she stab her like this? She couldn't even move her body and she attacked someone that was completely defenseless and was unarmed. She did bring her sword, but it was still sheathed. Did she have no honor? She looked and Nola was glaring at her. The bright eyes now angry, Hotaru actually felt guilty. The worse guilt that she had ever felt. She finally moved, but it was only to sink down to her knees in grief.

With her bleeding from her wound, she laid down to try to combat some dizziness and when she looked up again, Nola's eyes were sad. Hotaru had this feeling that she had never wanted to she her eyes look so sad. She loved her? How much did she love her again? Hotaru was a little hazy now, but she tried to remember how much she had cared for her. Was it the same? She tried to picture it and it was still a little hazy.

All Hotaru knew was that she had broken her trust badly. She couldn't say sorry enough to fix what she had done. Hotaru then heard a question of why she wasn't getting up. Hotaru looked around and she was back in her office. What?! Hotaru would sit up and look around. They were in her office. Everything looked exactly as it had before she went into the Zanpaktou's Inner World. But wait a minute......

This seemed a little.....off. She would immediately use her energy sensing to see if she could sense the other division members that should be here. She sensed what seemed to feel like other people, but this still seemed rather odd. Nola tilted her head towards her and started to walk towards her. Hotaru focused on her and her strength seemed to have grown from the last time they were here.

She looked down at herself and her outfit was the same outfit she always wore everyday to go to work. She looked down and saw the wedding ring and engagement ring from her husband. But, when she thought of that, the encounter she shared with Nola played in her mind. She shook her head for a minute and it was......weird to say the least. Hotaru would start to stand as she tried to go through what happened.

The memories of Nola were playing rather clearly in her mind as memories, but when she thought of Asmoskon.... The same kind of memories appeared next to the ones with Nola. What the heck?! The woman did mention she could affect memories, but this.....this felt like more of an invasion of her privacy. She had reenacted some of the worse moments of her life with Asmoskon and put herself in them.

But, one of the best memories with him she had, she had also recreated. Hotaru glared at her about that. Those memories were precious to her. She tried to forget the old times, since they had reconciled and were able to start a new life together, a very happy one. This was just....odd. The weirdest thing about it is when she looked at her, there were actual feelings. FEELINGS. She just didn't get it.

Did she put herself into her memories for fun? Was this some kind of trick to play on her? She started to feel bad for leaving her. Why should she? She was certain that she had only met this woman for the first time today. But, coming here and all the memories have changed what she thinks about this girl. She touched her sword and she felt the warmth from Rivu~aiasan. At least, from what she could tell, he was still here and still real.

She tried to move past these weird sensations, but Nola started to talk then, saying that Hotaru wasn't the real Captain she came to talk to. Nola drew her sword and asked herself if this isn't the new zanpaktou that might look like the Captain. The thought dawned on Hotaru as well. This could just be the new zanpaktou spirit taking the form of Nola to try to trick her. Hotaru didn't know the true capibilites of this new zanpaktou spirit, so it is possible.

Nola thought this could be a test, but this was a weird one if it was. Then again, from what she was already told about what her zanpaktou had done, this was not out of the realm of possiblities. Hotaru drew her own zanpaktou and stood in a defensive stand while she saw Nola sweat. Was she nervous? When Nola said she was going to beat her to get her to talk, Hotaru felt her spiritual pressure rise and her power was surprising. They were equal. This was going to get interesting.

All Hotaru had to say, after she gave a little smirk, was "I'd like to see you try to beat me, Nola-san."

[Nola Vilde]

Those words made Nola pause, uncertainty coursing through her. Hotaru was calling her san again. But it felt...wrong. She didn't know what it was but it felt...off. She shifted on her feet and focused on Hotaru, that file of memories running repeatedly through her mind, another bead of sweat running down the side of her forehead as she did her best to focus on the woman in front of her. The challenge however.... it moved her. And before she even realized it, she caught herself smiling.

She'd always adored that about Hotaru. The way they always seemed so...enthusiastic. She was so forward in everything she did, and it made her chest feel a little warm just thinking about it. But as it were, she didn't have the luxury of reminiscing forever. She rushed toward the woman, her weapon raised as she focused on Hotaru's form. Sweet as the memories were, she had none of them that involved Hotaru's actual combat style. The memory had ended before she'd gotten a chance to see anything. She was operating on the assumption that Hotaru was actually her zanpaku'to in disguise after all.

As she ran a shadowy figure was briefly visible behind her, before it caught up with Nola, overlapping with her actual body as she moved in, taking a firm, stable step before she slashed outward, that needle-like sword going for a clean horizontal slash. But of course, she knew that Hotaru was probably faster than her. She had to anticipate, so those eyes remained firmly locked onto Hotaru's form as she swung her....shikai? She actually wasn't sure what state her zanpaku'to was in. But in this place... she felt tireless, and no doubt so would her zanpaku'to. She didn't have to worry about stamina or reiatsu, and likely Hotaru wouldn't either. This ......this was a memory.

As she swung horizontally she also adjusted her swing, and there was a sliver of reishi that condensed along her forearm. A platform of reishi that normally was used for walking on air, something normally impossible in the soul society, but it was a technique that was universal, developed by human world dwellers. During her swing her arm would hit the platform, allowing her to stop her swing on a dime, the platform was actually curved so that as her arm bounced off of the surface, it was already slicing downward,turning that horizontal slash into a vertical chop in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile her free hand was raising, a single finger pointing towards Hotaru's right thigh, as if waiting for the woman to try and counter the slash.

She anticipated that Hotaru would use some sort of speed technique to overpower her and blitz her. She herself was not very fast, and even though she had basic capability to use shunpo she still doubted that her proficiency with Hoho would match up to Hotaru's. Her best bet would likely be to try and simply outwit the captain through strategy.

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Hotaru remained in her smirk, looking towards Nola. These weird new memories her running through her head were messing with her slightly. Why in the hell would she do something like this? But the memories gave her a warmth that she thought she would only feel with Asmoskon. Thinking on that got her angry and she tried her best to keep a straight face. Trying to sift through all these new memories was hard.

Nola had smiled towards her, which made Hotaru feel....odd. The smile immediately made her think back on those weird new memories and how Hotaru had loved to see Nola smile. Making her smile was one of the things that she had always tried to do. But then, she thought back on the true memories with Asmoskon and then she had the same feelings from these 'fake' memories but knew that the true memories were the right feelings.

She needed to get her head back into the game. She lightly shook it, keeping her eyes on Nola. She took deep breaths and tried her best to keep her mindset in the battle mindset that she had learned in the battles she fought in the war back when she was alive. It helped her in the past and she felt it slowly take over her mind, the calm taking an effect like it usually did. She was now ready, at least she hoped, for what was to come.

Nola then started to run towards her and she saw a shadowy figure behind her. What?! She watched as the black figure behind Nola overlapped with her. There was definitely something wrong with what was going on here. She watched the sword come in for the strike and did one thing rather quickly. Since she was still holding her sword, she quickly pulled her sheath free. Before the blade touched her, she would Shunpo backwards.

Since she was a master of Hoho, it wouldn't be too hard for her to do this and immediately after she landed, she would yell out "Bankai!" A huge plume of her liquid fire would erupt from her spot, arching high into the sky. Purple flames would spread out quickly, taking up a half mile radius and the flames would grow up towards the sky, up to a mile, making it hard for Nola to leave it. Hopefully, this would trap whatever just took her over.

When the huge liquid fire would finally disperse, Hotaru would be seen wearing full purple armor and the helmet of said armor would look like a dragon's head. Her sword and sheath had turned into two huge dragon-headed whips that were now snapping angrily in front of her. Hotaru would stare at Nola, hands gripping the handles of her whips tightly. "Nola-san, there was a black shadow that overlapped with you before you attacked. Are you being possessed or something?"

[Nola Vilde]

Almost immediately Nola balked, her eyes going wide as she noticed Hotaru's suddenl shift away from her, and worst of all, the woman suddenly unleashed bankai infront of her, a sudden chill running along her body as so very suddenly, she found herself locked into a massive fiery cage with the Captain, her body sweating a little, not from the heat, but with nervousness as she stared at the Captain before her, swallowing hard and doing her best to try and keep herself together. Would she truly be able to handle something like this? She supposed she was going to have to.

"Just dandy, the one thing I have no way to fight." She chuckled sheepishly... and looked to the side. Her red skin coming in handy once again as a means of hiding her emotions, looking back to the woman and actually smiling softly. "You look beautiful like that Hotaru..." She murmured softly, using shunpo to close the gap between them, suddenly in Hotaru's face, and Hotaru would see the woman left behind that black being, which was speeding to catch up with Nola.

And then she'd see it, she'd feel an odd familiar twinge as Nola's right arm suddenly melted into blackness, dispersing and suddenly wrapping around her zanpaku'to, creating a slightly large, black cleaver made from that dark energy. Her Remembering Blade. So close to Hotaru, that blade arched back, very ready to swing at the woman, however...Nola stopped. And she would look pointedly at the woman infront of her, and simply stayed her swing, sweating profusely as she watched them, a sheepish smile on her face as she felt her chest ache. That hesitation would give Hotaru an opening. As Nola just looked Hotaru in the eyes, smiling fondly as she remembered.
"Have you always smelled like Ashes?" She asked softly.

Before she swung, that black blade arching out in an obviously...feeble attempt to attack the woman. It wasn't even aimedat Hotaru, it was specifically aimed at knocking one of those whips off to the side, aiming to not actually hurt Hotaru, but just to knock them of guard. And of course, if Hotaru let that blade touch her, or part of her release, then a little flame would appear on the edge of it, and of course she would also feel a sudden spike in her memories.

" I.... I just wish I could believe that this is really you." She murmured softly, worriedly. It would likely occur to hotaru that Nola may nt have been responsible for HOW their memories had gotten mixed together. She seemed just as distraught by them as Hotaru was after all, it even seemed to be causing trouble for her in the fight itself. So it might come into question if it was really Nola's fault that those memories in particular had been chosen.

But alas. Was this really the time to worry about that?

Could Hotaru afford to sympathize with her opponent? A memory would float it's way to the surface, and she would remember how ruthless and heartless Sozen was.

If she wanted....she could just be like him, after all.

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Hotaru kept a hard stare on her, trying to figure out where in the hell the black thing was. Nola was definitely looking unsteady and there was a great reason to be. Hotaru had unleased her Bankai. Her reasoning behind this? Hotaru was in a strange place, assuming that she was still inside the Inner World of Nola's Zanpaktou. She knew that there was some memory change ability with it, but she knew nothing else about it.

She also didn't know what that black thing is. Was it hurting her? Was it changing her attitude? There were too many unknown variables in this place for her to not be on high alert. The first thing she could think of? Bankai. Shikai would might have worked as well, but the random unknown of this place made her pull out the big guns. When she released, she felt a huge surge within her zanpaktou as well. It seemed that Rivu~aiasan was ready to guard her.

Nola commented that she couldn't fight against a Bankai, but technically, ANYONE could fight against a Bankai. How well they would do against it depended on the skill of the person fighting said Bankai and the skill of the person using their Bankai. While looking at her, Nola looked back towards her smiling, saying that she looked beautiful like that. She looked beautiful in purple dragon armor wreathed in flames? She had.....honestly never heard that compliment before.

In the next moment, Nola was right in her face. Hotaru flinched, blushing slightly for Nola being this close to her again. Hotaru remembered the last time they were this close, with those 'fake' memories and would blush slightly. This was the weirdest thing that she's ever had a part in. She glanced back and saw the black shadow start to run to catch up to Nola. Before Hotaru could do anything, however, she saw a weapon form in Nola's hand.

It was a fairly large black cleaver. Could she manifest weapons at will? It would be impressive if she could do that. She moved her arm back, ready to take a swing at her, but then....she stopped. Why did she stop? Nola just looked up at her and Hotaru would then start to back up slightly to get out of her range of attack. She was still a little too confused to actually try to hit the woman standing in front of her.

She asked if she always smelled like ashes. Ashes? She didn't think so, but it could be an effect from releasing her Shikai and/or Bankai. Once her Bankai released, however, she automatically started to let the purple liquid ooze from her whips. There was now a puddle of her liquid under the girl and now a trail of it to where she was currently. She always did this, just in case something would happen and it would be a quick attack for her.

But now... She wasn't sure if she should do it. Maybe this liquid could kill whatever black thing was on her? She didn't know, but it was the best thing that she could think of at the time. She hoped that she had moved out of the range of her attack, so she would miss the swing. If she didn't react quick enough to get out of her range, she would try to Shunpo out to her right. "I don't think I've always smelled like ashes, but honestly, no one has ever asked or told me that I smelled like that before."

Nola wished that it was the real Hotaru? Could she not tell that she was real? She had gotten close enough to her to feel the warmth from her skin. Hotaru could feel it from her. Of course she was real. She knew Nola was real too, but that black thing was worrying her. Did these memories affect her too? Would her own Zanpaktou make her relive the memories that were touched by the power that she used?

The obvious answer was yes. From what she was already told, the Zanpaktou hated her and would definitely put her through this kind of pain. But, does that mean she didn't have a choice on what memories were pulled out and affected? This changed a few things, but she still needed to keep her guard up so the girl wouldn't hurt her. She then thought of what Sozen had done to the girl. She didn't want to do that to her, but she wasn't going to let herself get hurt again. "Nola-san, that black shadow keeps following you. If you run fast, you might be able to turn around and see it come back for you. If you run away from it, maybe I can do something to it."

[Nola Vilde]

Nola blinked, her eyes a little wide when she suddenly heard that splash on the ground, glancing down and tilting her head a little as she saw the purple liquid all over the floor. That better be from her shikai... Looking back up to Hotaru she simply furrowed her brows, gritting her teeth and letting out a small hiss as she suddenly felt... vulnerable, she moved to the side, out from over those puddles of fluid as she watched Hotaru. And of course.. at Hotaru's comment about er smelling like ass she went a slightly brighter shade of red.

"Well I mean... a little. Not like physically but.. with my ability to sense reiatsu it kinda...your spirit energy smells a little like ashes... its kinda nice." She murmured sofrlt, rubbing the side of her head. Why on earth was she saying this. And of course, that black form had already caught up, and was already overlapping Nola. It was very fast, as fast as Hotaru was it seemed, it just didn't seem to be able to use shunpo. However she did pause at the womans whispered words. Did she?

"Wh...n-no! It's part of my shikai!" She clarified, trying to get Hotaru to relax as suddenly golden yellow threads would suddenly pierce Nola's chest, hiding behind Nola, the shadowy figure was sending out those threads, aiming to attach them to the woman, the threads were actually not damaging, and if Hotaru was hit then they would simply seem to just...attatch to her body. with no immediate effect.

Of course still... Nola would look a bit nervously, staring at Hotaru as she tightened the grip on her blade. Unlike hotaru, Nola didn't have any....other memories. she had nobody close to her. Nobody still around. The women she had known when she was alive, the ones that she had around her in the rukongai... they were gone. But even then nobody had REALLY been close to her the way Asmo had been to Hotaru. Unlike the Captain she was not quite able to....understand what was happening. HEr missing arm attempted to flex, and she gripped her remembering blade tighter, frowning.

Would she even be able to catch Hotaru? Would she even be able to land a hit? The woman's bankai wasn't even a part of the situation. She literally just couldn't hit her. Her abs tightened, as she felt that sinking feeling in her chest. And she felt a sudden twinge inside of her. "You're not even fighting back. Was there even a point to you going bankai if you weren't going to take me seriously?!" She asked, a sad, distraught look on her face as she stared Hotaru down.

She really was beautiful, even in the armor. And she regretted that she had chosen the captain to ask for help. Of all the people her zanpaku'to had made her grow attatched to, this....felt the most sincere. But it wasn't real. She knew that already. It was fake. And somehow that made it worse. Because these fake memories ,they were far happier than any memory she had ever had. She'd never had an asmo. She'd never had a Vannan, whoever that was. She had nobody. Nobody ever. And Hotaru had had... so much more than her. And slowly.... she felt a sudden dark spot in her chest. A sudden deep, suffering sensation in her chest as she felt the urge to use....it.

Bitter heart. And Hotaru would feel it, for 100 meters in every direction, she could feel as if a cage were about to shut around the both of them. Nola could have made it right there. But she was hesitating. It would just be another memory. Just another memory she put the both of them through. But.....it would be real. More real than the ones they had suffered through so far.... And it would not be something that Hotaru would likely be able to withstand. She looked to the Captain, and wondered. When this was over....what then? She was looking for something to stop herself. Some...excuse that she wouldn't have to do this. She didn't know what else to do.

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Nola went into a better detail on what she meant by the ash smell. It seemed that her reiatsu smelled kinda like it, but she seemed to like the smell. Hotaru would sniff her arm to see if she could smell anything and she really didn't pick up on what she was saying. The woman was odd, but the power of her zanpaktou was incredible. She didn't want to get touched by it, afraid of what else she might do to memories.

She then explained that it was part of her Shikai. It was an interesting Shikai, to say the least. Having a black shadow come over you and let you materialize the actual weapon from your body. The entire time, her liquid would be spewing out of her Bankai. It was something that she had always done naturally. Whenever she released Bankai, massive amounts of liquid would start to drip from her weapons. Everywhere she moved, she left a trail of liquid, kind of like a snail but prettier.

Nola then informed her that she wanted to be taken seriously and have her fight back against her. Very well, if that's the way she wanted, that would be the way it should be. She looked sad that she wasn't even fighting back against her. Hotaru tightened her grip on her whips, which had them writhing around in the area, snapping at the air out in front of them, flinging liquid all over the place. The girl seemed a little lost.

It's then that she felt it. There was...something coming down around the entire area. it was a large distance, but it didn't go out as far as her flames did. She was worried about what was going to happen when this thing shut. She was worried for Nola, but they were in her Inner World, so she doubted that anything here would hurt her. So, she would push the whips back and make them immediately start spewing out liquid everywhere. Scales would shoot off them, spraying more of her liquid out. She would then start to Shunpo out of the area and try to get out of the area. Then, she would light all of the liquid that was away from Hotaru on fire. "I don't want to hurt you, but you leave me no choice."

Even if she didn't get out of the area of the technique, she would still light the liquid on fire. But, because Hotaru had mastery over Hoho, she had assumed that she would be able to get out of the area. Once she was done, she would look back towards Nola sadly. What she was doing reminded her that she was acting like Sozen. It made her sad that she was, but.....she was a Kuchiki after all...

[Nola Vilde]

Nola couldn't help but smile ruefully at the woman's apology, a soft little smile creeping it's way across Nola's face as she watched that last regretful look on Hotaru's face before they suddenly bucked it for the edge of the Barrier. But of course, Hotaru would have absolutely no Idea how big the area for her ability was. And it was a VERY large one. The instant that Hotaru suddenly began to leave, Nola would whisper softly.

"Nigai Kokoro."

In an instant everything was suddenly engulfed in a massive dome 100 meters in radius around the point where Nola had created it. And of course, Nola would wait... she waited for Hotaru to hit the barrier, because the Dome was very very special. It was made very specifically. Because she wasn't the fastest of people. She remembered how pathetic the OLD Nola was. What a little idiot... So because she was so slow, back when Nillia-Nola had been the zan spirit instead of the main body, she'd made it a little security feature. Anyone trying to leave the barrier, would be slowed considerably so that they HAD to endure at least one episode.

When Hotaru met the very edge of that barrier, suddenly she would see Nola appearing infront of her, and she would realize something was wrong. That somehow, for some reason, Nola had caught up with her, and even appeared past her. She gave a sheepish little smile and raised her weapon, but Hotaru would feel so insanely sluggish, almost as if being partially-through the barrier was like some kind of quicksand.

"Hey there Firefly."

The Bitter Memory

---

Hotaru would feel the blade rip it's way from her left shoulder, all the way to her right hip. Nola's zanpaku'to easily carving through the woman's body, right before a foot planted itself squarely in the center of Hotaru's chest with a surprising ammount of strength, one that threw her back toward the ground, and back into the zone. With a sudden, loud BANG she would hit the ground like a brick, an instant later Nola would be above her, that wild hair flaying about before her knee would plant itself on Hotaru's chest, pinning her down as she would feel a sudden sharp panic eating it's way through the woman's chest along with the pain of having been cut. Off in the distance Hotaru would still hear the burning explosion of her combusting oil going off, only just now noticing the slight singed smell coming from nola, as if she had barely made it out of there.

"I just want you back.... I don't even want to win."

Another sudden stab of pain as Nola's needle-like weapon jammed it's way into Hotaru's Shoulder, prying the blade between the left where cartilage and ligament connected bone to bone, and those soft, green eyes would stare down at the Captain. And of course, Hotaru would feel that instinct to strike out. It was only natural. One of those armored hands would lunge up, her brain acting on auto-pilot, no ability to really think about what she was doing, as if she were a roller cvoaster stuck on it's rails. She would swing at Nola, only to find Nola's knee slamming into the woman's bicep, interrupting the attack.

It would be then that Hotaru would suddenly feel massive bruises riddle their way along her arm and along her chest, as if she'd been punched forty times without her knowing. Cutback. Sure Hotaru could get by if she hit them with part of her bankai, but if Nola blocked against part of her skin, or anything the bankai didn't cover, her release wouldn't save her in the slightest. The sudden rupture of blood vessels under the skin making that skin all the Darker as Nola stared down at her, slowly lowering herself until she sat firmly onto the woman's chest and leaned down. Hotaru would feel Nola's free hand at her throat. Not squeezing, not clenching, not digging in Nails.

She just held the woman's throat, and gently, with a tug, tore her weapon from Hotaru's shoulder, staring down into those eyes she knew so well as that Needle point, still dripping with Hotaru's blood, would suddenly waiver.

Directly over Hotaru's eye.

"Do you remember the first time?"

That grip would adjust itself, gently tracing marks on Hotaru's throat. And of all things, Hotaru would feel them. Actual marks. Marks that she remembered, but only from Nola. Memories that she didn't actually share with her real husband. Marks that shouldn't have been there. But were now. And she would feel Nola's fingers tracing them. As that needle lowered several inches. "Why can't it have be like that? I miss it Hotaru.. I really really do. Just like I'm sure you're going to miss a lot of things. " She murmured, right before that blade DROPPED.

But unlike before, there was no stab of pain like there had been in her shoulder. No sudden blinding pain (literally) when that blade tore it's way into the woman's eye. Instead, she would feel the sharp impact of something next to her head, and the sight of that blade driving into the rubble next to Hotaru's head. A sour, unhappy look on Nola's face. As if detesting her inability to go through with it.

"Hey there....-"

The bitter End

---

"-...Firefly~"

That sudden stab of Deja Vu. Hotaru would only JUST feel a sudden weight all around her. The slow-murk of the edge of the Barrier. and suddenly, she would Nola right infront of her. And strangely, Hotaru would feel that sudden STAB of familiarity. That familiar slowness. That familiar inability to move fast enough. As if she were only moving a few inches at a time. And she would be able to see that Nola's arm was already prepared. She was just about to swing. And Hotaru would REMEMBER the feeling of that blade cutting through her. Not just her, but her BODY. Her skin would VERY distinctly remember the pain. She would be able to so very precisely anticipate just what that slash was going to feel like. Just like she could feel that BECAUSE she was in the egde of that barrier, she was slowed too much to do anything about it. Nola had chosen her Memory. One of Hotaru's. A new one. One that was just seconds old. The memory of rushing for the edge of the barrier.

That way, her ability didn't even seem like a memory. It looked like she was just turning back time when she felt like it. It would seem more like a do-over. Because honestly that was the secret. There was no limit to how old the memories had to be. And in that moment. Hotaru would have a VERY distinct feeling that she knew exactly what was going to happen. At least until instead of pain, she felt a very light pressure on her cheek. That arm still pulled back, Nola had simply used another shunpo to close the distance between her and the Captain, and all of the sudden, they were directly in eachother's faces, Nola smirking just a little infront of Hotaru's slow-moving face, giving a roguish little smirk before she leaned in, and snapped her teeth just inches from Hotaru's ear.

"Gotcha." She whispered, and Hotaru would feel the other shinigami's breath against her ear, right before Nola simply stepped aside, just as Hotaru was finally leaving the barrier. Everything would speed up again, she would no longer feel that muddy sluggishness in her limbs, and all at once, Hotaru was suddenly free of that massive zone. Free to move as she wished as Nola simply stood there, smiling at her.

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Hotaru wouldn't hear what Nola said as she left, she was just concerned with getting the hell out of there. She knew what happened if someone was stuck into her area of effect while her Bankai was active and trying to get out. She just hoped it wasn't anything that severe when she tried to get out of it, if she didn't make it to the barrier in time. Hopefully she would make it in time.

That hope was dashed when saw this huge dome go down. It was like hers, pretty much instantaneous. Damn it. She couldn't be fast enough for something instantaneous unless she actually knew it was coming, which wasn't her talent at all. If Sozen's wife had been here right now, that would be a different story, but she was here alone with her Zanpaktou, Rivu~aiasan.

Then again, Rivu~aiasan was the only ally she needed for a long time. Before she knew his name, he was always there for her, to help her fight. He has been by her the entire time she's been in Soul Society and he has always been a comfort for her. When she thought that, she felt warm in her hands. She looked up and the whips seemed to be smiling at her, because he knew that she meant it.

She continued moving but when she hit the barrier, something happened. Nola appeared in front of her. How in the hell did that happen? Then, when she hit the barrier, all her speed seemed to be sapped away. This barrier was making her go slower. She still didn't understand how in the hell Nola got here faster than her. Maybe she could move through all this stuff faster maybe.

Nola spoke Firefly, which is what Asmoskon called her. It was a shock to hear it from her and then that's when she felt a blade hit her left shoulder. What?! Then Nola kicked her in the chest and she was back in the zone. Hotaru was wearing her armor and the whips were there with her. How were the whips not trying to get at her. With the cut, her skill should be activating.

But, she didn't feel it. This couldn't be right. From Sozen's training, any pain she felt triggered something of a 'hyper sense and awareness' that helped her when she took damage in fights, which seemed to happen a lot. Nola put a knee to her chest and the pain from the cut hit her because of the pressure from the knee. She tried looking for the whips, but she felt....off.

Then, she was stabbed in the left arm, in the shoulder. The pain was hard, but she had endured worse. She tried to grab Nola's throat, but her knee stopped the attack by pushing the arm down. Thankfully, the armor completely covered her arms, so she didn't feel too much, but it was enough for her to get angry. Nola sat on her chest and grabbed her throat.

Hotaru would stare at Nola and if looks could kill, she would be dead at least forty times by now. Her oil was still going off, so she must've outrun it somehow. She pulled her sword out, and Hotaru bit back sound. She made no sound at all, because she wouldn't give this bitch the satisfaction. Her sword was over her eye now and Nola began to speak.

She mentioned earlier that she didn't even want to win and now she wanted her to remember the first time. It was then that fake memories started to flood her. The bad part was she did, and she tried to push it out of her mind. It ran through her mind at the same time the memories of her first time with her husband did. There were differences, some that weren't even shared with him.

It was then that it hit her. She felt marks on her body and she was tracing them with her finger. Hotaru had had just about enough of this now. She missed their time together and honestly, she didn't listen to the rest. What this woman had done to her was.....indescribable. She glared at her and before the blade dropped, she spat out, "If you're going to stab me in the eye, just do it for God's sake!"

It was then that the sword dropped, but she felt nothing. It was next to her head instead. So, Nola couldn't take her eye, but she could carve her up when she had some kind of 'feelings' for her. And, damnit if Hotaru didn't feel something for her now. She made her feel for her and that was one of the things she hated about this. But, the look on her face made her think that she felt horrible for not being able to go through with it. She spoke again before things changed.

Hotaru was back where she was, hitting the barrier and hearing her call her Firefly again. Nola was back in front of her. What?! How could she be doing all this....... It was then that Hotaru had a weird feeling about what she had done. She expected an attack to come because it had happened before. Hotaru already knew that the power of Nola's Zanpaktou, or whatever it was now, had to do with memories.

She knew that because of the fake memories that were already implanted in her from their time together. Could she do it again? Hotaru couldn't take that risk with her there. Hotaru would move her hand up and cut her face, activating her skill to give her an advantage. At the same time, she immediately set the liquid production up to high gear, oozing as much liquid as she could as quickly as possible, just in case.

It was at that point she would hear the gotcha in her ear and she stepped aside. After another few seconds, she was out and looked back at the bubble. Nola was standing there and smiling at her. Hotaru glared again, not liking what this power was. Though, it was an incredible power and could be a HUGE advantage in fights, Hotaru didn't like to be pretty much 'mind raped' while trying to help this woman.

"Nola-san. You know I came here to try to help you find your power. Why in the hell do all of this? To try to show me, a Captain, how powerful you actually are? Your power is incredible, but don't invade the memories of someone trying to help you, especially what you did in there. Since you don't want to fight, get me out now."

[Nola Vilde]

Those lips smiled softly at that, and Nola's head canted to the side, those bright blue eyes watching the woman carefully as they seemed to come out of it. The way they flinched when they were called Firefly. The way they had reacted when Nola had brought up the marks. But of course, as she made her demands, those marks faded. Nola had never actually made them after all. The memories surged, rushing through both of their minds before at long long last....


She opened her eyes.

Her real eyes.

They were back in the office, and Nola was watching as, like her, the Captain also would be waking from the trance, and between them, a black, shadowy firefly slowly dissolved into nothing. Her zanpaku'to spirit. Or at least the form it had taken for the time being. It had never occurred to Nola, but it was almost...poetic. She had been her own zanapku'to spirit for so very long because that had been the most prominent of her memories. And now it had chosen a new form, at least for the time being.

"You should not have come with me..." She murmured softly, those eyes staying glued to the floor as Nola's fingers slowly ran along the surface of her blade, that long vicious needle that seemed to be made for the kind of weedling prowess it was capable of inflicting on the mind. "Even when I was in charge, there was always one key aspect of my power. The wielder doesn't get a say in it. I never gave the old Nola one. I can't imagine why that would change now. It was intentional." She paused, and that smile actually widened, as she slowly looked up at her Captain.

"The person that I was, before Sozen....did what he did. Was shaky... unsteady... terrified. Do you know why? Because whenever she fought someone. No matter who it was, I had to change her memory. She was too...nice. Too uncertain. I had to MAKE her kill them. The quincy. The Souls. Even the Hollows. But I couldn't JUST make them an enemy. It would never work." She noted softly, that smile only growing softer as she glanced off to the side. "If she was just angry... it was never enough. She would let them live. She SAID it was so they could suffer. But I knew. In her mind, she just couldn't bring herself to ever truly hate anyone." Another pause, and those eyes suddenly locked onto Hotaru's.

"I didn't like it... If she'd been more vicious.. it would have been so much easier. But she wasn't. So I kept trying, and one day... I found out someone she really COULD Kill. With everything she had. I had to make her love them. I had to give her a reason to be truly connected. To be truly bound to someone. And then I had to twist them. She would see a hollow not as a monster, but someone she was truly close to, that had become something terrible." She then paused, and then grinned at Hotaru.

"That's what this power is Captain. No matter who it is. If the one wielding this sword has to fight to survive. Against...let's say...someone who decided to use bankai." She noted, glancing at the Captains' own sword. "You never know how hard you can fight, until it's the one you love." She noted, and then shook her head, slowly standing up. She grunted softly, even in the dilated time, the two had still been sitting there for a good amount of time. A lifetime together, condensed down to just an hour or so. Maybe more. And for a moment, Nola looked out the window, and it stung, in her chest, that it reminded her of so many.... false nights. So many fake memories.

"If you like you can just pretend it never happened Captain. Of course I really should have warned you. There was no way you could have known." She mused, before she slowly turned and stared Hotaru in the eye, for just a moment, she looked at her Firefly. And a slow, rueful smile crossed her features. "I don't have the heart to lie to you. These memories will never go away. They'll fade sure, but not completely." She murmured, and looked down at her sword again, as if she could FEEL her zanpaku'to spirit. Grinning away.

You opened the door. All I did was let you in. You've nobody to blame but yourself.

She cringed slightly, and shook her head. She's a Captain. She told the sword, and all she heard was that slimy laughter from inside. That cackling that was of the deepest mirth, the laugh that ENJOYED what it had done. Is that so? Well if you ever want a redo, you can always roll the die. I'll be here. I always will. If you want to try again, you need only speak my name... it hissed, and without even realizing, she found that name crossing her lips.

"Alte Furscht" She murmured, and paused, a little...perplexed. Not the language she had quite expected. But then again, Nillia was hardly conventional either. Glancing back up, she let out a soft little sigh, and gave a bit of a nervous look, realizing that they might have spent most of the afternoon with that little..excursion. "Ho-..... Captain Kuchiki..." She paused, clearing her throat as she realized that, regardless of those memories, this woman, in actuality, had no connection to her. No matter what she felt when she looked at the woman she was just... Captain Kuchiki.

"Thank you.... for your help. Even if it did... cost you. I'm not sure what it would have been like if I'd just gone in alone. At the very least, I'm glad it was someone I could trust. You have my thanks... and my apologies." she noted, and then bowed her head in sincere regret. Not just in what she'd done to her superior. to a member of the Kuchiki family. To a Captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. To the only other person who had, as far as she knew, endured the same vices at the hands of Sozen Kuchiki. that was all there. Mixed in with her reasoning. But MOST of all....

she was sorry...

for what she'd done to her Firefly.

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Hotaru stared into Nola's eyes. The eyes of a shinigami that had been through some terrible things at the hands of Sozen. A shinigami that had knew of the pain Sozen could cause and could relate to what Hotaru herself went through at the hands of the Head of her family. A confused shinigami that she hoped with this little escapade had helped find her Zanpaktou spirit and understood her power a little better.

Nola closed her eyes and Hotaru followed suit. When she opened them again, she lightly blinked, seeing the inside of her office. She looked around, but the thing in front of her surprised her. It was a shadowy firefly that was disappearing. Was that Nola's Zan spirit? She knew of people that could summon their Zan spirits to the real world, but Hotaru never had the skill for that, like with Kido.

The firefly made her remember how Asmoskon and, running alongside those memories, Nola, calling her Firefly. She fought back the feelings it brought back and looked around her office. It seemed that her office was in the same state as normal. No one had been into the office, but she did notice that there was at least two notes that had been slid under her door, so a few things happened while she was gone.

But, she wasn't done with Nola yet. To be polite, she stayed sitting until Nola would stand. Nola said she shouldn't have followed because there was a key aspect to her power, the wielder had no say in the matter. Both her and Rivu~aiasan was surprised at that. The Zanpaktou intentionally messed with her memories? Why would a Zan act that way? It just didn't seem possible to her.

Then, Nola explained why. It seemed that she made her kill people. This Zan spirit was pretty horrible. She didn't know of many Zan spirits, because she honestly didn't ask anyone about their own Zan spirits. She knew the strength of Sozen's and it was surely menacing, but didn't know how it reacted with Sozen himself. She was definitely going to ask people she trusted if their Zans were like this as well.

So, old Nola didn't kill anyone because she didn't have the heart to. Nola blamed it on her being naive, which could be the case, but what she told her next really surprised her. The Zan would forcibly change her memories to make her love whoever she was fighting so then she could kill them. Hotaru's eyes would widen, but nothing else would show on her face. This Zanpaktou was definitely demented, seeing as how changing memories intentionally without the wielder's control would be the only way this worked.

It made sense now why their memories were changed before she even mentioned it. Hotaru had used Bankai, so the Zanpaktou made her love her to actually fight all out against someone with a great strength. The Nola memories were still there, but they were in the back of her mind. Then, she was told she could forget that stuff ever happened, since she should've been warned.

Though, the memories will always be there, they can fade but still be there. Hotaru figured as much and looked at Nola. Nola was going through more pain than her. It seemed that Nola was more alone and never experienced the love that Hotaru had. When she spoke the name of her Zanpaktou, it was definitely different than normal. It sounded like something Asmoskon would use as one of his techniques, but since Nola herself was unique, the name seemed to fit the weird Zanpaktou that she had.

Nola thanked her for her help, even though it cost her. The cost to Hotaru wasn't nearly as bad as the cost to Nola. She was also grateful that it was someone she trusted. She stood when Nola did earlier, grunting slightly as her legs had fallen asleep while they were sitting. She noticed the time from outside, they had spent a great deal of time together in Nola's inner world.

While Nola bowed while apologizing, Hotaru smiled at her. She also saw that she wanted to call her by her first name and changed to the proper title. Hotaru would stand next to her and put her right hand on her shoulder. "No thanks are necessary, Nola-san. It's the least a Captain could do. But, since you said that you can trust me, and we have similar histories, you are more than welcome to transfer to my division, if you want of course.

I figure that we could talk about things when you wanted to, if you transfer or not. I would gladly accept you here. This division isn't too bad, just a lot of combat-happy people, but overall good people. I see to that myself. As for the memories, we can talk about that later. Is there anything else you wanted to do while you were here, Nola? I have some more time if you're interested."

[Nola Vilde]

Nola's eyes widened a little when she felt that hand on her shoulder. She had to admit, her experience with Captains had left much to be desired before today, so it was odd to feel such...physical comfort. Though with Horatu there was still that familiarity to vomfort her, and absentmindedly, she gently reached up and placed her hand over theirs, then glancing up to the Captain and was a little...surprised at the offer.

Join her squad? First and foremost she imagined it might be a bit of a conflict of interest, but then she remembered that they weren't actually together. She chuckled softly and sighed, rubbing the side of her face as she looked up at the Captain, and she felt.... better. Comfortable. " I want to try and make it in Squad one... I really do. But... I'm not sure if I'll fit in. If things don't work out, I'll definitely exchange to your squad. Though... I do confess to having an... aversion to fighting.." She murmured, lightly running her fingers along her cheek.

"Sozen did what he did because he wanted to make me stronger. He wanted to make me a weapon. And... if I fight as I am now. I just feel like I would be validating him. I want to find someone else to train me. Properly. So that when I do, he can't take credit for it." She noted softly, sighing softly and looking off to the side, resting her cheek against the Captain's hand before remembering herself and removing her hand from theirs.

"As for now? I'm a little tired... and Hungry." She murmured, lightly patting her stomach and chuckling sheepishly. EVEN in her own spiritual world, forcing her powers on someone of captain level had been hard to say the least. It had used up a lot of spirit energy and she needed to recover. "Something to eat would be nice... relax.. and ...you know, recover." She noted with a sheepish smile to the woman, still trying to keep from acting too familiar around the Captain.

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Hotaru watched the emotions playing across Nola's face. She seemed somewhat surprised, but Hotaru was a bit more surprised when she put her own hand over hers. It was a nice, warming sensation, but Hotaru pushed the thoughts out of her mind. They weren't together, they were never together. But, it was the little touches that seemed to still get to her. She had to keep reminding herself during these times that the memories were with Asmoskon, not her.

She wanted to try out in the First Division but if she didn't make it, she would gladly join her division, which made her smile. Hotaru just wanted to make sure that she felt comfortable and it seemed like she trusted her, which would make the division a good fit. Nola had a Captain that she could trust. The aversion to fighting would probably be an issue. It was something she actually didn't even think about.

Though, she wanted to be trained properly, with someone else. Sozen did that to her to make her stronger, like a weapon, which reminded her of her ordeal with Sozen herself. Her training was almost like making her into a weapon, and it did to a point. But, she could appreciate that she wanted to do it for her own accord, to fight her way so she would feel like Sozen wouldn't take all the credit.

Then, Nola laid her cheek against her hand as well and a light blush crossed Hotaru's face. She hid it before Nola realized what she was doing and removed herself. Hotaru smiled towards her, more in understanding than anything else. She acts the same way around her husband, so she understood to just randomly touch someone you care for like that. Being around this woman made her think about her own relationship with her husband.

Nola then mentioned that she was tired and hungry now. She didn't know how her power actually worked in her Inner World, but she was going against a Bankai. Hotaru nodded, removing her hand and walking towards one corner of the room. "Well, Nola-san, I do have a fridge over here near the bed that you can raid. I always make sure it's filled with goodies and food for if I have to work late.

As for being tired, you can use my bed. I sleep at the Kuchiki Manor, like the other Kuchiki Captains, so this bed hasn't been used. You can sleep to your heart's content. I'll leave the door locked and if you don't mind, I'm going to be going over the notes at my desk while you eat and rest, okay?" Hotaru would then walk over to her desk, smile gently then sit at her desk, going through the notes she was given.

[Nola Vilde]

Nola noticed that recession, the rapid smothering of the expression that Hotaru had so briefly held in response to her own physical gestures. And when it came to the subject of eating, rather than what Nola had been hoping for, she was reminded that the Captain was.... well 'busy'. Sure Hotaru had said she had some time, but when Nola asked about food, it was quickly suggested that Nola find means of feeding herself, and that she would be leaving, words that gently thorned their way into Nola's chest, and caused that fake smile to come out.

"Um, no actually... I think I'll go get some fresh air. Thank you again Captain. I'll let you get back to your work." She noted softly, giving a soft, respectful bow of her head before she turned and headed for the door, that fake smile lasting until she was out of sight, fading to a blank, empty look as she hurriedly headed for the Squad One Barracks. She forced herself to not even think aout it. There was nothing to think about. She was.... nobody. Just because she had strange skin, just because she had her powers. That didn't make her anything special. And she had been silly and naive to believe anything otherwise.

And it came to her, a realization, that this wasn't going to end. Her heart wanted something radically different from what was even possible. And no matter what, if she spent time around Hotaru, those feelings would only get worse. Her min continued to wander, as more and more.... she realized she'd been fucked out of potential help. Hotaru COULD have helped her. She could have actually been able to recover from all of this....

But her Zanpaku'to had destroyed that chance. And what was worse was that she knew why they had. She was a Kuchiki. Thinking back to her own days of being in charge... she would have never let Nola be close to any kuchiki. No... in terms of survival... it made sense t o drive her wielder away from anyone that might have Sozen's influence. And with a tightened grip on her zanpaku'to, for the first time, she knew just how much Nola had hated her.

How fucking ironic...

[Hotaru Kuchiki-Masurao]

Hotaru smiled at Nola, hoping that she would accept her offer. She wanted to take her out, but there was work that was piling up. Even though she could, she wasn't the type of person to just drop all of their work to go out and hang with someone. Her Captaincy made her work harder, since there were a lot of people depending on her now. She offered what she did to Nola so the woman could stay around her, talking if she needed.

It was while she was walking to her chair when she heard Nola's response. It seemed that she was going to get some fresh air instead. Nola thanked her by bowing her head slightly before she headed towards the door. Hotaru looked towards her and before she could do anything, Nola had already left the room. While she was hurriedly leaving, Hotaru yelled out, "MY DOOR'S ALWAYS OPEN, NOLA-CHAN! PLEASE COME BACK IF YOU NEED TO TALK AGAIN!" She left her door open while she piled her notes back on her desk.

While she started to sort through them, she thought back to what had just happened. Nola's power was one of the more unique powers she had seen. Being able to affect someone's memory was a powerful thing. She had experienced that first hand now. After her work was sorted into piles, she took out some blank paper. On it, she wrote down everything of what just happened.

She wanted to make sure that she remembered all the details about it. Even though the memories were there, they were hazy. She kept the notes so she would remember what Nola was going through the next time they met. Hotaru felt that Nola really needed someone to talk to and even though she took her help differently than what was intended, she was determined to keep an open mind and help her again if she needed it.

After the note was written to herself, she dove into her work. All was routine, but she wanted to make sure she would get done in a timely manner. She was heading back to the Human World today, where she and her husband had made some plans. She also wanted to talk to him about what happened. Once the work was finished, she scanned her office and was brought back to what had happened there. She locked her office door and left. I will help you if you'll let me, Nola-chan.