HELLO!

[ryuujinn00]

FUCKING INCREDIBLE STORE OWNER,

SINCE I DON'T KNOW THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS, I'M JUST GOING TO REFER TO YOU AS FUCKING INCREDIBLE STORE OWNER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'VE BROWSED OVER YOUR SHOP FOR QUITE A FEW TIMES NOW, AND I STILL DON'T KNOW THE FUCK I NEED TO BUY!! AND I HAVE THESE GIFT CHEQUES FOR 2 FREE ITEMS EITHER! GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! THIS IS BLOWING UP MY MIND! SOOOOOOO MANY ITEMS TO CHOOSE FROM, SO LITTLE FUCKING TIME!

ANYWAY, BEFORE WE FORGET ANYTHING. YOU'RE STRONG AREN'T YOU? YOU SHOULD BE, YOU'VE GOT ONE HELL OF A MOTHERFUCKING SHOP! HOW AWESOME COULD YOU GET?! SO SINCE YOU'RE FUCKING AWESOME, FIGHT ME! HELL YEAH! THAT'S GONNA BE SO FRIGGIN' AWESOME, RIGHT? RIGHT?! YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MAN, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING WHILE WRITING THIS. BUT I'M NOT CRAZY. NOW IF YOU SEE MY VICE CAPTAIN OR IF HE WRITES TO YOU, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! I'M NOT CRAZY! HAHAHAHA.. I JUST SO FUCKING WANT TO FIGHT!

AND I HEAR YOU'VE GOT THIS RADICALLY COOL TRAINING ROOM WITH STRONG PEOPLE TRAINING IN THEM! A-W-E-S-O-M-E! LEND ME ONE OF THEM! THE PEOPLE TRAINING IN THEM THAT IS! I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE ROOMS! I WANT THOSE INSIDE OF THEM! GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OH AND ONE MORE THING, FUCKING INCREDIBLE SHOP OWNER! IF YOU'VE GOT THOSE COOL NEW TRAINING DUMMIES THAT HAS THOSE WHATCHAMACALLIT THINGIES THAT ALLOWS PEOPLE TO TRAIN MARTIAL ARTS, SEND IT TO ME! I AM IN NEED OF THOSE. THEN AGAIN, WHY NOT JUST COME YOURSELF AND FIGHT ME?! THAT'LL TEACH ME ONE OR TWO THINGS ABOUT MARTIAL ARTS, WON'T IT? I MEAN YEAH! FIGHT ME! FIGHT. MEH!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA..

PWNZ0RD! H4XX0R! F34R MY L337 SP34K! PWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WRITING IS SO MUCH FUN! I DON'T EVEN NEED TO THINK ABOUT WHAT TO SAY! YOU'RE JUST TOO FUCKING INCREDIBLE, FUCKING INCREDIBLE SHOP OWNER! WE SHOULD MEET AND FIGHT! YEAH! DID I SAY FIGHT AGAIN?! FUCK YEAH I DID! MUAHAHAHAHAHA... SO THAT'S ALL OF IT. UNLESS I GET THE EUPHORIA TO WRITE AGAIN, THEN THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY TO YOU, FUCKING INCREDIBLE SHOP OWNER!

FIGHT ME,

[/color]
SAIX SHINRA!!
11TH DIVISION CAPTAIN! QQ!

P.S:

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW I WAS STEALING SOME MUNNIES FROM THAT OLD GEEZER'S BARRACKS? YOU'RE SO L337! ITS SO H4XX! GAHAHAHAHAHA.. I LIKE YOUR STYLE, FUCKING INCREDIBLE SHOP OWNER! FIGHT ME! FUCK, I KEEP SAYING FIGHT ME.. WHO THE FUCK CARES? FUCK YOU ALL! HAHAHAHAHA.. WELL, THAT'S IT.. I'M BEAT. I'MA GO BOTHER PEOPLE FOR A WHILE. IT FEELS SO AWFULLY QUIET HERE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK! I WANT SOMETHING THAT CAUSES NOISE! LIKE THOSE THINGIES THAT HUMANS USE, THOSE MAGIC BOXES THAT HAS CIRCLES IN THEM AND MAKES VERY LOUD NOISES! SOMEONE SHOULD INSTALL THOSE ALL AROUND SEIREITEI AND BLOW THE BAJEEBUS OUT OF EVERYONE'S EARS USING LOUD NOISES! HAHAHAHA!![/color][/blockquote]

[Zou ۞]

Dear Mentally Insane Captain,

Well my shop is pretty great, you're right! I'm the humble owner, but everyone compliments it! Well for you I would recommend getting a God Tablet and a Bean Pod! If you give these to a sparring partner or a training dummy gigai, they'll become incredibly powerful for the duration of your fight! They'll convulse in screams and die later, but they're just Gigai! We can always make more of them since we're not implanting souls in these ones!

Well, I'd love to fight you, but I'm always busy because my fall catalog has had people pouring into my shops! As for the people in my training rooms, some of them are like recluses to the rest of the world, so they wouldn't agree to come out. But, I'll do you a favor and point you in the right direction!

If you go to Karakura Town, and seek out Arashi Manako, he'll give you one hell of a fight! As for items I can send you, I've already gone to the liberty of sending you a Gigai to use a god tablet and bean pod on! I also sent a second one programmed with traditional karate, and the strain of it known as shotokan. It will take you numerous years to learn these martial arts from the dummy, but you will gradually come to learn! Perhaps by the time this whole Ogatago crisis passes, you may know martial arts!

~Urahara Kisuke


P.S. I have a surveillance of the Captain Commander's barracks superior to even his own surveillance! In fact, I disrupt it so that I can watch without being discovered. He won't even be able to probe this letter because it's being mailed using a secret service that he doesn't know about, and won't intercept. I like to spy on his love life and other affairs so that I can write about it. One day I plan to go public with my findings in a magazine. Mr. Hat & Clogs Magazine!