Werecows and Oreos (PG-13,NDE,Okusa)

[Deleted]

"I'm a ghosty ghost ghost ghast... ghurst... gum... gump... Forrest Gump...gummy worms.. She has gummy worms. Are they sour? Ew. No. Nevermiiind. I shall spare her~"

And what nonsense has our teal-haired balloon head stumbled upon today!? Well, for one, Asuka Hitotoki was ghosting around in the human world. Alone. Forever alone. She had no gigai on though. She didn't feel like it. If worse came to worse and she found herself in a serious fight, the gigai would be way too restricting. On top of that, the last time she was in a gigai it was a manly one and she ended up training a human. Not that it was bad, but she knew she'd get harassed in some form so she'd forgo that. Ah loneliness, seems to be a recurring theme in her life. Then again, that was her aspect of death. No matter how old she got, her adventurous side would never die out. Her fraccion were busy; Kin primping and styling and Li Mei loved to bake like no other. It was either that or hanging around Kuroi. No...she..she still doesn't quite understand either but hey, she likes him? She likes him. Nothin' Asuka can do about that. Just leave the red-head be~ If she could survive 200+ years being herself, luck was obviously on her side.

Why couldn't Asuka have any good strokes of luck?

Did she pick a four leaf clover or something? Everyone knows that OBVIOUSLY, four leaf clovers were bad luck. Maybe she should look for a one leaf clover. WAIT THAT'S IT. Look for a one leaf clover. Maybe then her bad luck would go away and all her missions would go well. It was worth a try wasn't it?! Well, it wasn't like she was doing anything important now. Green eyes aimlessly scanned her surrounding area. It was a park. A pretty one. With rocks and grasses and benches and squirrels and weed. There was the lady on the bench eating the gummy worms with NO SOUR STUFF. Who the eff does that? That's like eating a real worm only slightly more sugary. That woman had to have been the devil or something. Asuka thought it had to be the case. "Note to self: Ask her what hell is like and if she's seen different sub forms of werecows when in gigai form.". She had no missions to accomplish and Hueco Mundo was as dull has ever. Asuka spent years exploring that and while she still had more things to discover about the white dessert, she preferred to leave it for another day. There were other things obviously. Besides, she came here with an agenda. She was off to discover a new species and classify them! Though, in this world, they were kinda rare. WAIT...IF SHE FINDS A RARE BREED THEN MAYBE THEY CAN HELP HER FIND A ONE LEAF CLOVER.

"Chea. I think I'm a genius now. Aha!"

Rare things always gathered where all the other rare stuff are so it only made sense. Ah, deductive reasoning, you never let us down, do you? It's been a while since she'd seen a different sub-branch of werecows (akki or something seemingly similar) or any other creatures of the night. Golak was the shiny werecow. She never sees shiny werecows any more. Or...nice ones for that matter. Then again, most people she knew weren't nice to begin with so that was okay. Sparkle Wizards were always so cool. Asuka wished she had more sparkle wizard friends. That would be pretty awesome. For now though, while on her hunt and quest for searching for a new species, she'd derp around. Kill a hollow if it's there or steal a civilians sour gummy worms and make them believe it's a ghost. Fun stuff. Maybe even a small fight where she hopefully won't get into too much trouble. It was something that seemed to follow and embarrass her relentlessly. Hopefully, it wasn't following her now because someone unfamiliar was definitely in the area.

[Okusa Shogen]

Sorry. My computer broke. -_-

I'll post as soon as it's fixed.

WE WILL UNMAN THE MOON! WE WILL DELIVER THE TAPE! WE. WILL. MAKE. NOODLES.

[Deleted]

[[ooc: Awh. D: It's all good. Hope it gets fixed soon!

FOR TRUTH, NOODLES AND JUSTICE! WE WILL DESTROY THE MOON PEOPLE WITH DELIVERED TAPE.]]

[Okusa Shogen]

OOC: Computer...has been fixed.

"I'VE FOUND SNOW CONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The explosive surge of energy was everywhere and everywhere and fucking everywhere! The best of things had happened! That big tall guy who was almost seven feet and had on the white haori and the black shinigami robes and the short black hair and the friendly eyes and the muscular body and the awesome beatboxing skills HAD FOUND SNOW CONES!!!!! Okusa Shogen, Squad 10 Captain, reporting for snow cones! This was the best part about anything, everything, and snow cones. Okusa had found them once again. Time to dig in.

He'd been given a break in Soul Society, so he'd come to the human world for some R&R. His R&R's very first thing included finding snow cones. He'd been so excited that he'd forgotten to get a Gigai. So he was just going to loot snow cone shops and devour them all. They'd be raided by an invisible snow cone ghost. This was Okusa's master plan of super evil! And it was going to work. He was starting to think up some rhyming schemes again. He didn't know why all of Squad 10 was just so musically gifted! He just knew that they were the best and just better than the rest all the time, and all sublime.

"THE GREATEST, THE FREIGHTEST, THE LATEST! OKUSA SHOGEN, AND I'M GONNA BRING IT, FOGGIN'! That was a crappy rhyme...BUT I FOUND SNOOOWWW CONNNNEEESSS!!!" Okusa roared in excitement.

Okusa was roaring with his reiatsu flaring everywhere. Where she was, that Espada couldn't miss his yell and his reiatsu. She couldn't miss that he was obviously a very high powered Shinigami. And she couldn't miss that he was probably a Captain. When she went to check it out, she couldn't miss how big he was, and she probably couldn't miss that he was screaming something amazing at the top of his lungs. It was wisdom that she would never in all her life hear again from anyone else, and it was worth a thousand years of pictures of water droplets. Which, as everyone knows, indicated wisdom.

"EVIL OREO. BE UNDONE BY THE MIGHTY LEO, OR LION! BECAUSE I'VE FOUND SNOOOOWWWW COOONNNNEEEESSS!!!!!"

Okusa burst into the snow cone shop, bringing in a current of wind and a harsh storm of energy. Everyone was blown around, much to Okusa's not-caring-a-bit. He started shoveling snow cone into his mouth. Anyone watching would come to believe in ghosts. Hungry hungry ghosts. They'd realize that ghosts liked to enter shops and steal all of the snow cones. All the shaved ice was disappearing rapidly, as if into a vacuum. And meanwhile, Okusa had only one thing to say.

"DOWN WITH THE OREO OVERLORD! I WORSHIP PUGS!"

[Deleted]

[[ooc: Chea!]]

Hello, new species, I'm Asuka!

The poor girl was minding her own business in the park, contemplating on asking a human woman about hell when she heard the greatest words of all time. "THE GREATEST, THE FREIGHTEST, THE LATEST! OKUSA SHOGEN, AND I'M GONNA BRING IT, FOGGIN'! That was a crappy rhyme...BUT I FOUND SNOOOWWW CONNNNEEESSS!!!" THAT YELLING...It wasn't normal. Quite frankly, it was a bit intimidating to the slightly timid Arrancar. She'd jump and let out a frightened squeak. The devil lady with the sour stuff-less worms can wait! Now, she had a mission!

Oh yeah. She felt it alright. Dat energy. She couldn't miss it. It was HUUUUUUUGE. So much that Asuka couldn't possibly ignore it. It was like....there was this enormous THING in the area and she just couldn't help but feel like it was going to trample her. Though, it was only one thing. A spiritual being. What was it? Was it nice? Was it going to tell her to get lost? Oh gosh she hoped not! She was only curious after all! Asuka was, after all, a curious being. She explored Hueco Mundo because she believed that there was a catch to the whole "barren white dessert stuck in perpetual nighty-night time" thing. I mean...you just don't decide to live in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, do you?

God, she hoped Sonken Kouhai wasn't crazy...Why couldn't they live in the Bermuda Triangle? Everything gets lost there. We wouldn't have to worry about invaders! Plus we might find valuable things like one leaf clovers, Elvis and Santa's lost reindeer that they constantly leave out in carols. People are assholes. Purposely excluding the lost reindeer. Speaking of animals, Asuka judged that the roar of excitement came from some sort of creature of the night. IT HAD TO BE. Normal people just don't yell like that...do they? Okay, well, Nijuu did...but he's legitimately crazy..so he was an exception to that rule, yes? Correctomundo. The teal haired espada would run off in the direction of the yell and the source of the reiatsu. Grimoire and Bessy had reiatsu almost as big as this. At the same time, it wasn't the same. Asuka was absolutely excited to discover this new species of werecow. Or...sparkle wizard? It felt like a sparkle wizard but the behavior was simply too bizzare to be one. She had to meet this one in person.

Asuka arrived at a snow cone shop...only to see people running out screaming. "Yup! He has to be here! Aha." When she entered, she just saw this huge guy just shoveling down all that icy goodness like he was never gonna see it again. She took cautious steps in the shop and stopped next to a guy who was staring and holding an untouched, lime snow cone. One, Asuka would simply take and begin eating. He...He ran away from her! Screaming bloody murder might I add. Well...That was rude! She only took his snow cone! He was letting it melt and stuff! He was doing injustice to said cone and so she took it upon herself to save it! She didn't quite like it on the level the strange creature was, but she'll admit, they were delicious.

My god, it was all disappearing. This creature...he was a snow cone leech! Just sucking away all of it! She had to figure out what this guy was! Wait...he likes snow..but his reiatsu signature clearly indicated that he was a sparkle wizard....but behavior points to werecow. He had to be the Shiny Were-Yeti. Yeti were known as Abominable Snowmen...Seeing as he was a creature of the night, you obviously put the "were" in front of it. If it is a creature of the night, you put "were" in front of it. Asuka believed that all nocturnal animals also fell in to this category. There were "werebats", "werecoons", "werecats", "werecows", "wereowls". Bingo.

"DOWN WITH THE OREO OVERLORD! I WORSHIP PUGS!"

Oreo Overlord? Did he know of a species that she didn't? Ohmygosh! She has to talk to him!! So, Asuka would run up to the man, she'd tap him on the shoulder and give a small wave, with a smile and all...and instantly strike a conversation and babble...without pause.

"Hi Mr. Shiny Were-Yeti! That totally has to be your species! You're a creature of the night after all! Aha! You must really love the snow! Snow cones are delicious! This one's good. It's lime flavored! The guy that ran out screaming just didn't eat it for some reason! Why would he do that!? I don't know! It's a waste of food! Why do people waste food? There are lots of starving people! Yepyepyep! What's an Oreo Overlord? Oh it's dripping!"

And so she went back to her snow cone, looking at him excited like with an an expression that could be read as "".