Fuel Injected Suicide Machine

[Satoshi Fuuko]

Fuuko was laying on her bed, snoring about as loudly as she could. After a night of long drinking and a day off that was spent also drinking, she had fallen asleep. Unliuke a normal nap, Fuuko had been asleep for hours, one hand scratching at her chest as she hung halfway off her bed with the covers thrown in one direction. There was a smile onher face and a big bubble threatening to pop coming out of her nose. Some drool dripped from the corner of her mouth and she looked like she was having the time of her life. In fact, she was. She had slipped into her inner world some time after falling asleep. 

"Ahha! Is that  right?" Fuuko said and tipped the large bowl up and let the clear liquid drip down into her throat. She then tossed the dish aside and looked up from her spot in the quaint little islan surrounded by trees, surrounded by water, surrounded by cliffs and waterfalls surrounded by more water and... Well, Fuuko wasn't thinking about what was beyond the water. She knew and was still constantly dealing with it. 

Fuuko stood up, grabbed another bottole and stumbled over to Shukketsubuki, who was also quite inebriated. She put an arm around the Oni and hugged her close. She used her thumb to screw off the cap and then nuged Shukketsubuki's boob. "Ya know... I don't say this enough... or maybe ever but... I'm real  proud of ya. Even though yer pretty useless and ya don't really work very well and yer whiny and finnecky and tempramental..."Fuuko leaned in, all but pressing her lips against Shukketsubuki's pointy ears. "Yer also  pretty cool..." 

Shukketsubuki's eyes lit up and she grinned brightly as Fuuki ran her nose along the oni's ear and nuzzled it. "R-Really!? Ya really think so, Anego!?" Shukketsubuki chirped. "I... I knew  I was cool!" She beamed and leaned against Fuuko to give her a hug back. "Ya know... sometimes's it's tough! You can be real  ornery and yer always demandin things that's tough for me ta do! Sometimes it makes me wanna just do the opposite  of what yer sayin, but... I would never  do that!" Shukkestubuki sighed. "I'm so glad I did this....' She muttered under her breath. "I think we both needed this and now, maybe I won't feel so bad when..." 

Shukketsubuki paused and groaned. "O-On second thought, why don't we have another drink?" She said and grabbed her own bottle. She opened it and pushed it into Fuuko's mouth, even while Fuuko already had a bottle open that she was pouring down her throat. The blonde sputtered and wriggled free from Shukketsubuki and took a few seconds to cough. She smacked at Shukkestubuki until she regained her composure. 

"W-What the shit!?" Fuuko barked. "Are ya tryin  ta drown me!? Is this some kinda test?" She said leering at the Oni. Shukketsubuki waved her free hand vigorously and occupoied her mouth by taking a long guzzle from the bottle. 

"Nh!Nhhh!" 

Fuuko narrowed her eyes and swatted the bottle out of Shukketsubuki's hands. "H-Heyyy! I was drinkin that!" 

"Yeah Last time I checked the supply ain't  runnin out!" Fuuko rubbed her chin. "I was just  thinkin. We don't do this enough but then... I couldn't remember when we ever  did this..." 

"We drink all the time!" Shukketsubuki protest. 

"Yeah, but we don't get drunk. I don't even think I can get drunk here. I musta been drunk before I came. Back outside of here. I don't ever come here when I am drinkin, so..." 

"I wanted your company!" Shukketsubuki whined. 

"Uh... huh..." Fuuko didn't seem convinced. She lifted up a finger and roughly jammed a finger into Shukketsubuki's boob. "You were waitin  for me ta get shit-faced and then ya pulled me here and pretended like we just were having a fantastic-fuckin-party." 

"We were, though!" Shukketsubuki said with a faltering voice. 

"Why'd ya bring me here?" Fuuko said, starting to sober up pretty quickly. 

[Satoshi Fuuko]

Shukketsunuki pursed her lips as she looked at Fuuko. She lowered her head and took a deep breath. "I brought you here... because it's time." She siad. "You've gotten strong. So very strong, Anego. I never thought you would get to this point. I hoped that you wouldn't." Shukketsubuki could see the twitch in Fuuko's eye and held up her hand. "Anego, please.You'll understand soon enough. I didn't think I could talk to you about it unless we were both  shitfaced." Shukketsubuki rested her hand on the handle of the sword that had hung at her side since the  beginning. Fuuuko took note and raised an eyebrow. 

"It's time for me to tell you ... about your ... about my Bankai." 

A big grin spread over Fuuko's lips. "Fuck yeah! I knew  I was strong enough! But why the fuck  you makin it a big thing, huh!? Man, now I can finally become a captain and kick that bitch outta our division! Heh! Maybe I can even show off to Kaen or-" 

"FUUKO!" Shukketsubuki barked. The fact that the oni had said her name straightened her up. "It's not that simple..." The oni said forlornly. She pulled the sword from her sash and held it out to Fuuko. 

"What? I gotta go on another fuckin trial? Don't tell me there's more creepy  shit around here. I can already barely handle goin out there..." 

Shukketsubuki shook her head. "No trial. Once you take this, that's it. Bankai is yours." 

Fuuko's hand snapped forward, but before she touched the sheathed weapon, she hesitated. "Why? Why was learnin yer name so fuckin  hard, but learnin Bankai so fuckin easy?" 

"You'll know when you take it." Shukketsubuki said cryptically. "But not this, once you take it, you cannot  ger rid of it. It is our final bond - forever." 

Fuuko's hand wavered as she hovered it over the sword. "W-Why ya makin it sound weird?" Fuuko asked. "Why ya sayin  it like that." 

Shukketsubuki closed her eyes and pulled the sword away. "If ya ain't ready, then-"

"Fuck you, bitch, I'm-" Fuuko yanked the sword away and then stopped as if she had been paralyzed. Her eyes began to glow and her mouth opened as she took in information. Then, she shut them and shook her head violently. She tossed the sword away and grabbed Shukketsubuki by the collar and slammed her into a tree so hard it cracked. Shukketsubuki squealed in pain and wriggled in fear. "WHY!?! WHAT KINDA FUCKIN SADISTIC MOTHERFUCKIN ZANPAKUTOU GIVES ME A BANKAI I CAN'T USE!? HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ANYONE WITH THAT!?" 

"A-Anego...." Shukketsubuki. 

"I don't fuckin want  it! Take it back!" 

"Anego..." Shukketsubuki whimpered, grabbing Fuuko's hand. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm broken and defective and...." Shukketsubuki started sobbing loudly. 

"Fucking dammit." Fuuko hissed as she let Shukketsubuki go. 

"You ain't. In the end this is me  bein fucked up that made it this way. I'll just... I don't know." Fuuko shrugged and looked around. She grabbed a drunk and chugged awhole bottle. It did nothing. "Never use the damn thing ever, I guess... I mean, I can't, can I? I couldn't even practice with it or else...." Fuuko ran her fingers through her hair. She dropped to her hands and knees. SHIT!" She said and pounded the ground over and over until her hands started bleeding, then started headbutting the ground until she passed out. 

When she woke up, there were multiple holes in her bedroom. She hissed and stumbled out of her bedroom and towards the clinic to get patched up. She hoped that had a good  dose of tranquilizers. She wanted to sleep and never wake up again. 
 

[Leonie Dallmann]

After combining some lines, I counted about 15 paragraphs here! 75 TP for Fuuko~