Post by Ishikawa Seiji on Feb 20, 2023 18:03:53 GMT -5
It was a day like any other. Or perhaps that was wrong. No singular day was the same, but monotony droned on, ever persistent and ever frustrating. Nothing was the same it simply felt that way to a certain someone. Ishikawa Seiji. A young man who had spent the past few hours pacing back and forth about the Kido Corps grounds, his own office and even once having consumed lunch on the streets of Rukongai. A restless spirit unable to be soothed, he knew that, and so did those around him, his own spiritual pressure like a slowly raging storm-cloud bound to strike lightning at anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby when he at last snapped. Steps quick and precise as he moved about the place, even the upper seated members of the Division had fled away from the compound. Some off to do actual work, others on the pretense of having duties to attend to, the only few left behind were those too fresh and unseated to find any sort of way out - away from the Lieutenant.
Unfortunately it was not only pacing that set those around him on edge, Seiji stormed about the place with all the subtlety of a raging hurricane, a slight frustration was no reason not to get work done. So he did. Paperwork already done, filing and shifting scrolls back into storage, boxes already arranged out upon his own desk and the smaller table within the room. Others shifting in and out of the space, obviously trying not to hover, not to disturb the Lieutenant any more then they had to. Unfortunately all it did was drive the elder closer and closer to utter distraction. Them tip-toeing about would do him no damn good, could no one do their work swiftly and without their reiatsu seeming terrified? "Enough! Kazanari-san, take 'em back ta storage, Rito-san I want yer group 'long with Hino-san's cleanin' this place. I expect it ta be damn spotless by the time I'm back, ya got that?" There was a very quick chorus of 'Yes, lieutenant.' before the elder grabbed his Zanpakuto from the stand within the room and vanished upon the wind. Maybe by the time he came back they'd have their act together.
"Taking your frustrations out upon those around you won't help Seiji, you cannot fix what has already happened, not even I can do that." That voice again, one he ignored. The familiar slight hissing tones of his Zanpakuto pressed into his mind as he jumped from rooftop to rooftop across and far past the limits of the Seireitei's walls. Her words for once held little malice or arrogance he was so used to, good, maybe such a day had finally gotten her to keep quiet. Every time he thought he'd made progress, taken a step forward, he was once again reminded of his own failures. Of things he could not change, people leaving upon a breeze, the rare few that actually fucking mattered. The rush of air around him at least soothed some of the heat beneath his skin, wrapped up in the shadows of his own uniform, the gradually waning light of the afternoon sun did little to help. Being outdoors was better, but even nature this time, could do nothing to ease pain that refused to cease to exist.
I don't want to be alone again.
A pitiful thought. Like a mantra over and over again. In a literal sense, he never was, he never could be in a society such as the one he had ended up in after death. But his literal surroundings filled with others, and his own emotional state, were two very different things indeed. So much in fact, that even Kaze fell silent as he moved further and further away from the place he resided within, not quite home but neither was his old shack in the 64th anymore, a place he had spent more and more time avoiding as of late. How could he go back after all of that had occurred. Overconfidence had been his downfall, and that bastard had taken over, a lie ensured he was still allowed to remain in the Soul Society. But for how much longer would that last? How far could he take things before being forced to flee like others had in the past? Rumors were that way for a reason. No one spoke of those long gone for a reason, one he wasn't sure he wanted to seek the answer to, for once.
It was only after an hour of travel, that Seiji settled himself on a hill that overlooked a large part of Rukongai. Better then where he had grown up for a second time, but still nothing in comparison to the lavishness that nobility indulged themselves in daily. The small patch of grass soft beneath his fingertips as he settled near the edge, that small blade sheathed and sat comfortably within his lap as he began to let himself drift. Consciousness pulled back and forth like the flowing tide, clean air one moment and pouring rain the next, in and out, until there was nothing but heavy droplets of water soaking his garments and skin. A glance up, with eyes open at the darkened skies above, had he done this? Kaze had once told him that this place reflected his emotional state, and rain that would not cease wasn't the greatest sign. Large puddles littered the streets around him, it was only the sudden rush of air a few feet away that returned him to the present.
"It has been like this intermittently since the loss of your sight, since you met that boy again, it hasn't stopped. You are slowly drowning yourself Seiji, and me." There was a calmness to her voice, a rarity, though the young woman still stood proud and defiant before him. Just as he did when facing the outside world, even if it was a place he could no longer visualize anymore. "And so what if I am!? What else am I supposed to do? You think anyone I'm using out there gives a damn? Of course they don't!" All at once, it didn't matter here what he said, shouted, screamed to the heavens. In the depths of his own soul, no one else would hear his cries of despair save him and his own spirit. Kaze for her part, did not move for a moment or even react, as if processing what was said. He hadn't then expected, to be punched right in the face, hard enough to leave him sprawling on the ground in pain. If he hadn't been soaked through before, he surely was now.
"Just shut it! You want to let that bastard beyond the walls win, to let those nobles win? I already knew you were an idiot Seiji, but I don't remember ever having a master that was such a spineless whimpering coward! Get a fucking grip already and fight back! You've always made your own path, hadn't cared what anyone else said and kept going, that's why I picked you! Now you're telling me, even after seeing someone you thought you'd lost, that you're just going to give up and rage like a petulant child? What a waste." Fists clenched at her sides, mirroring that of naught but a young man in the dirt, like he was back in Rukongai all over again. To hell with that! It was only with a frustrated huff that the emerald haired Shinigami got to his feet, drenched in mud, rain and now damp he stared at Kaze, just as she looked at him expectantly. She did not need to voice what the consequences would be, if he let things continues, she might just be consumed and vanish for good. He wouldn't allow it, he'd come far enough already, wavering now would only leave him even more alone then when he started.
"Teach me how to fight back then." Was his only answer, and seemingly the one that Kaze had been looking for, a pleased smirk lining her features as she led him out of the rain and up the many flights of stairs within her clock-tower. Ascending to the very top, an enclosed space out of the rain and drizzle, filled with warmth and comfort. Only after changing out of his uniform and into an old, soft kimono did he sit down as his spirit gestured. It wouldn't be Bankai, he knew he was nowhere near ready for it yet. He had wavered, seeing another again, just as he had when loosing his sight. It wouldn't happen a third time. There were better things he had to do with his time, finding what was lost and even more importantly in due time, taking back control. Completely. After that, well what he did would be down to how everyone else reacted. There had to be others like him, there had to be.
A snap of her fingers before his eyes, a want of his focus upon what she intended to teach, well it was better then how she usually sought out his attention at least. A brow raised as he waited, a flick of her wrist to call that same sheathed blade forth before the whole item lit with a serene golden flame. At first soft and soothing, yet soon roaring to life like a terrible beast about to be unleashed, that very essence taken in by Kaze. It was not just pride or self-importance that she looked at him with, but a power unlike he'd seen before. Enough that even as she punched the air before her, it sent him flying back and slamming right into the wall behind him. Even as he coughed and spluttered while attempting to pull himself away from the wall, he knew without a doubt that this was something she'd never granted him before. Something brand new, it would give him an edge, another way of fighting back control of his own existence.
"This, is Soulbind. A technique that requires I actually trust you a little. But if you're really truly serious about fixing your own fuckups and let's be honest, complete and total lack of emotional openness with anyone who even remotely gives a single damn about you, then I'll teach you this. Learn it, master it, give it a little while to show me you understand it Seiji, and maybe then we'll talk about Bankai. Understand?" Those were her terms, a deal offered, something he was ever so familiar with. Yet rarely was he the one accepting such terms, only stating his own and excepting them to be accepted unless those who spoke with him wished to perish. Perhaps for his own spirit at least, he could afford to be more flexible, she was technically apart of his own soul after all. Frankly after all that had occurred over the last few months and the strain it had brought not just him, but her as well, he was surprised she thought him even close enough to prepared to learn anything new.
Trust went both ways, and if she trusted him enough to grant him Shikai in the heat of a hellish invasion, perhaps he should do the same now. Power wasn't all anyone needed, not even him, but it was certainly a start towards being able to fix a fair few things. Not to mention keep others in line with his intentions. "Looks like we've got a deal then." It was not perhaps the most respectful answer, but if Kaze expected him to speak to her as if she was his superior, then she would be seeking a hopeless cause for the remainder of his life and it seemed she knew that. Judging by the look of weary acceptance upon her face, all before he found himself grabbed by the back of his garments and tossed head first out of the only available window within the room. Straight out into the rain and back into the open air, soaked once more and now left tumbling rapidly towards the ground, or rather - towards a nearby roof it appeared he'd likely crash into.
She'd given him no warning whatsoever! Yet before he landed head first, she threw him again, even higher into the darkened skies above. Seemingly... flying? No, it wasn't that, she was using the air itself to jump, that much was all his mind could come up with in the few sections of awareness he had before his mind began to panic again. "Kaze what the fuck! What kind of training is this bullshit!" He shouted over the rain and now growing storm above, and his spirit it seemed only saw fit to laugh at him for a brief second as he fell once more. "Focus! Think on what you saw me do before, mirror it! Soulbind applies our power to your physical form, and if you're quick it'll stop you being a weakling before the ground flattens you!" Advice atop what felt much like a insult, now that was something he was used to hearing from Kaze, but his release pushed into his own body? Wouldn't doing such a thing kill him...? But he hadn't done so to his own Zanpakuto spirit, so perhaps not.
Of course, seconds passed as did his thoughts and the ground was growing rapidly closer. Shit! Without another thought, he focused on what he had witnessed, those flames vanishing and fusing into Kaze, on the reiatsu required to push such a process into being. Even with his blade in his grasp, reached for seconds before he'd been tossed out of a damn window, he could feel the growing heat in the blade as he pushed his reiatsu both into it and throughout his own form. Ever growing warmth, so much it almost felt as if it would burn him, scald and rip apart his skin, but it didn't. Only when that flame felt as if it would travel from his fingertips throughout his entire form and incinerate his form from the inside out, did the feeling stop suddenly. Replaced instead by a surge of pain harsh enough to make him cry out, a harsh breath followed after, the power pulsing through him was one he was intimately familiar with, but releasing had certainly never caused him any pain before that was for sure.
"Ignore the pain, focus on controlling that power inside you or it'll get worse!"
"Real fuckin' easy for you to say!" Fighting for control of surging reiatsu throughout his entire body while rapidly falling from the sky was hardly a usual occurrence and he made that known in his tone of voice, shouted above the heavy winds and drenched skies. But Seiji had always prided himself of being able to focus on more than one thing at once, and that was being tested now, even while speaking he drew all that power inward. Tried to let it settle and expand naturally, only faster than he would normally like, as the Lieutenant came face to face rushing towards the side of a building. Rather then crash into it, he righted himself within the air, and ran. Not just landing on it, but moving across the surface before pushing off as if he were on the ground and by some miracle, his own reiatsu instinctively responded. Launching him back into the air, far more controlled then before, and right towards the slowly descending form of Kaze.
Oh, this was payback time. "Ya want control? I'll give you damn control!" A singular point was his focus, right at the tip of his knuckles as he drew his right arm back, riding the wind as opposed to simply falling through it. No, he had control now. Unleashed as a hit right against Kaze's sternum, a slight cough before the sheer force sent her flying. It had worked as he intended it. Somehow. Of course, his whole body suddenly ached with the strain and landing was a less then graceful affair. A stumble into a roll that left him flat on his back panting, that power dissipating and leaving a sheathed blade at his side, he was exhausted and felt as though he'd just run a damn mile in the depths of winter. Even as he shut his eyes for just a moment, he could feel it, his inner world fading around him. No longer soaking wet, but the bone aching tiredness in his whole form remained. Perhaps he had done it then, and reaching out to find Kaze within the depths of his soul he was rewarded with a tired laugh.
"Rest you fool. You will not master it overnight Seiji. Nor will you be broken by one step backward, will you?"
"Guess not." If he was answering her statement or question, well he'd let her figure it out. It would give him time to try and master such a technique properly. But maybe only after he'd had a day of rest and not before, the last thing he needed was to try and go face first into a building or worse, through a wall. With a grunt he raised himself up onto his feet, the travel back to the compound was much longer and by the time he'd returned the sun had just begun to slip below the horizon. Had he really been that deep in his inner world for so long? Perhaps he had taken longer to gather himself together then he'd first realized. The familiar halls of the Kido Corps greeting him and while he could not see within his current reality, he dismissed those that had worked to clean the place early that evening. They probably deserved it after his snapping, another failure to deal with come tomorrow. But whatever happened, sight or not, he wasn't looking back again.
{Note for Grader}Training for Soulbind.
