The Aftershocks [invite Kaen]

[Taiyo]

Taiyo had been mentally exhausted after all the death he had seen, but once he finally finished that demon off... He had undergone a new level he didn't think was possible. His strength had astonished even himself. But he was still weak compared to most opponents he would face. There had been demons he had seen fighting who had surprised him in their strength. But thankfully Taiyo had survived, his family had survived and they would see another day. Yet he couldn't stay with his family, they were on high alert after all. An invasion was still happening, but Taiyo was to tired to fight anymore. He was suffering from newbie burn out, having been introduced to so much radical changes only left him feeling hallowed out.

Even as he looked at the different barracks, Taiyo was in a trance. Walking about the place like a zombie who walked normal. Eyes unfocused as he stood at the entrance of squad 7's own barracks, the shinigami simply placed his hand upon the door while he thought back to the explosions, the screams of innocence's dying to demons in rukongai and the death of those who fought beside him. Taiyo had witnessed numerous squads getting cut down, having watched the world about him burn and those flames had burned themselves into his mind. After a long pause, the shinigami simply took a few steps back before walking over to find a bench, his eyes staring off into the distance as he let his mind wonder.

He was normally all laughs and giggles, but not today. Today he was just quiet, somber and held an air of Melancholy that was the opposite of the vibrant man. He hadn't felt this different since the death of his wife and daughter. That if only he had been stronger he would have saved them... if he was who he had become today, they might have lived. Yet the memories of that war torn rukongai district coupled with his own inability to save his first squad... Taiyo felt responsible for their deaths. If he had been faster, stronger, and smarter... none of them would have died. But that was all in the past, and he could change none of it.

Even as he stood there in despair, a small group of birds landed upon his shoulders. He didn't notice them as he was lost in thought, his mind so distracted that not even the sounds of birds in his ears or their feet upon his shoulder did he snap from his thoughts.

[Kaen Youji]

The Battle against Hell had been bloody. There was no doubt about that. Although the Hellion casualties vastly outnumbered those of the Shinigami, a fraction of millions was still a significant number. The Seventh Division of Soul Society had thankfully made it out with minimal casualties relative to some of the other divisions. Despite their reputation for strength that had seen Kaen send several units to assist the front lines, Squad 7 was not considered a combat division first and foremost and so had seen work more in supportive or reinforcement rolls than pursuing battle on the front lines like the 11th or the 10th.

Still. The Division wasn’t untouched by the invasion and Kaen was incredibly busy, checking on all officers in the division to confirm their condition. Alive. Dead. Wounded. Traumatized. Kaen tried to be a reasonable superior to his subordinates. He may have expected the absolute best of them, and would push them to go beyond their limits, but if ever his underlings needed time to recuperate and get their affairs in order, it was this time.

”Akane, you doing alright?” Kaen offered one of the Division’s rising stars. The short haired Shinigami had been fighting at the Northern Gate of Soul Society during the battle providing kido support to the combatants down below. From what Kaen had heard, she’d acquitted herself admirably during the battle, but had since become despondent and quiet. Pale and avoiding others. Even now the woman refused to talk to her Vice Captain, uncomfortably avoiding eye contact. Kaen frowned. ”Listen. You’re excused from basic training this week. But I want you to find your way to the fourth division. They’re busy with all the wounded, so they might not be able to see you right away, but if you can find an officer’s time, I need you to go get yourself checked out there. Not all wounds are physical, right?” He patted the woman on the shoulder before moving to the next on his list.

Shinigami with the blank stares weren’t uncommon right now. Sure. Most of them had seen death. Most of them had killed or seen comrades killed. This was something else entirely though. The viciousness and inhumane nature of the Hellions. The savagery and cruelty that surpassed any Hollow or Arrancar that Kaen had ever seen. Even the Vandenreich weren’t so cruel. The Vandenreich were genocidal maniacs, sure. Zealots to the last that took pleasure in enacting the Emperor’s will, but that was just it. Even the Vandenreich had a guiding purpose behind them. Some goal or objective that gave their violence and their horrific actions purpose and even humanity. The monsters that had been loosed from Hell had none of that. There wasn’t a purpose. It was violence for the sake of violence. Murder and torment for its own sake, for nothing more than the sick satisfaction of seeing others in pain. It sickened Kaen. Whatever humanity those creatures had once held was long since gone.

Kaen was so absorbed in his thoughts and focus that he’d nearly walked right into Taiyo on his way to the next officer on his list. ”Oh. Sorry about that I—oh. You’re… Taiyo, isn’t that right?” Kaen asked, dimly recollecting the Academy student from that day that now felt a lifetime ago. Soul Society may not have been at peace when they’d last crossed paths, but this had still not yet happened. Kaen paused for a moment, and looked around. ”Let’s go for a walk huh? How are you holding up?” He asked. Taiyo had been possessing of a very gentle nature when Kaen had seen him last, such that even attacking with a wooden sword against someone who could take it had been a tremendous effort for him—one that had brought him to tears to do. How would such a man have managed to hold up in the wake of such atrocities? Where was he, and was his family alright? Kaen would definitely have to ask these questions in due course.

[Taiyo]

Taiyo sat upon the bench, oblivious to the world about him for the longest time. That is until a man named Kaen approached him, and then spoke up. Taiyo's eyes snapping back to focus and looking to the new arrival. When asked if it was him, Taiyo simply nodded and smiled faintly. Kaen had been an instrumental and very good influence on him before the battle. Without having met Kaen first, Taiyo might have died or worse. Though he wasn't really sure what to say to the other man, he felt like it was important that he did step away from his thoughts.

"Aye, I am Taiyo. A pleasure to see you again Kaen."

When Kaen then spoke of walking with him, Taiyo slowly stood up and began to follow the other shinigami. He didn't say anything at first, simply walking with the man. He hesitated to call him friend at this moment, as the two had only met once before during a training session. He doubted Kaen or he knew each other well enough yet to be there. Yet it was very relieving to see a familiar face once more. 

"Very well."

Was all he stated as they began to walk, and though he was eager to know how Kaen had faired in the battle, he didn't feel like right now was the time to begin asking questions.

[Kaen Youji]

It was evident that Taiyo had seen some shit. Not surprising, unfortunately. The man's gentle nature gave Kaen great cause for concern on that, and how the incursion had affected him. It seemed Taiyo remembered him, and Kaen rolled with it. "Nice that you remember me. Given we only met like... once." He admitted. Taiyo accompanied him, and an unpleasant silence rolled between the two. Kaen took a moment, then inhaled. "How are you holding up? Did your loved ones make it through?" He asked cautiously. Get the worst case scenario out of the way so he could address the rest of the conversation accordingly. Kaen was hopeful that survival was the case. But it was anyone's guess what had been going on to anywhere in Soul Society. The Seireitei had been prepared for an attack, but not one on that magnitude.

For Kaen's part, his family was all safe, and untouched. The Seireitei had protected the Noble sector easily enough, as it was the closest to the defensible positions, and many members of Nobility either had trained bodyguards, or were themselves former Shinigami. More than capable of dealing with the odd Hellion that had snuck through. Kaen had heard that even though he was no longer the warrior he had once been, his own father had dispatched three of the creatures that had broken in personally. Considering, from what he'd heard, no more than one or two dozen had entered his family grounds, and Kaen's old Jiujitsu master still resided in the family manor, that had been more of his weight on the matter. Kaen didn't like it though. This was supposed to represent safety....

But how could anyone feel safe behind the walls now? They'd held. Sure. The attack had been repelled-- no, more than repelled. It had been crushed. But the loss of life had been staggering all the same. Kaen pulled himself from his own thoughts, after Taiyo's response, and addressed further. "...Wish I could have helped more. The Seventh was given strict orders to hold as a reserve force in case the walls of the Seireitei were breached, and to assist the Fourth, Ninth and Third with transferring messages inside the walls. I wasn't allowed to send teams further than around the tenth district, and I had to stay back behind the walls to maintain the chain of command...." A sting in the back of his mind. As Vice Captain, Kaen was the highest authority in the Seventh Division. But he didn't want to be. He had wanted to be out there in the Rukongai. The lives he might have been able to save if he had been.... During the mod soul invasion of Soul Society, Kaen had personally put down two hundred invaders by himself. And he'd been weaker back then. With his new strength, he could have done even more, especially with support.

"...Do you need to talk about what happened?" He asked after a minute or two of contemplation.

[Taiyo]

Taiyo said nothing as the man spoke of them meeting once. Perhaps to the other, he didn't see it as a big deal, but to taiyo, that day was the day he learned to fight when pushed. He... felt sad about that. That his ability to fall into violence was no different than an axe finally being brought down. That it simply kept going till it hit something to stop it... A cold and cynical thought for sure, but one to consider he supposed. Taiyo's pace kept with Kaens while they walked, he said nothing only listening. Where his act of happiness might have normally been there, Taiyo felt... despair enough to not wish to wear his mask today... or perhaps just at this moment. No one of his family should see his sadness and so the man had begun to put it back on. Wearing that old faithful and loyal mask, one that he dared not drop before the little ones.

It was when his family was brought up that Taiyo truly showed a reaction if albeit a weak one, his head turning slightly towards kaen but not looking at him. A small one, but one none the less.

"They are fine... The little ones saw death but... they seem to be doing fine... I wish I could have done more. I was on the front lines..."

Taiyo had been among the many faceless shinigami mass that charged into battle. A sea of black that had rushed from the gates and stayed out in the field for a while. Even despite his injuries.

"I... Grew strong during that time. Stronger than I ever imagined, faster... and it was awful... I killed... so many... I'm...."

Taiyo said nothing more... the words he felt in his heart burned a seething scar into his soul. IF he uttered the words he feared to say, they might become reality.

"I inherited my fathers physical abilities for sure... And more besides. I never... I wish I hadn't have... So many bodies..."

Perhaps he sounded insane, but how could one describe hating violence and yet having limbs flying off opponents in mass. How many did he cut down? A hundred? A thousand? He had killed so many... His mind flashed with staining red, the warmth of blood on his face as he blank face murdered. They called it newbie burn out, where the body just doesn't have the mind to work.... but Taiyo had killed still efficiently. He had even defeated a decently strong opponent. Yet no joy or glory came from it. Only sadness and ashen knowledge that those who had died would not meet victims created by that monster again. But Taiyo had watched squads of some nameless shinigami get butchered like processed meat, had seen comrades grow cold and their pleas of aid falling silent in their throat as their life slipped away.

[Kaen Youji]

Kaen watched the mask of emotions cross Taiyo's face. Kaen was good at reading people. A talent he'd picked up going through Squad 7. He could read the hesitation on Taiyo's face. It was a struggle Kaen had never truly faced. Kaen had fought people he didn't want to, sure. He'd even killed people he didn't want to. He'd experienced shame and sorrow in equal measure, and he knew his hands had dealt it out. But Taiyo's extreme passivism was something Kaen could not truly relate to. He understood that fighting could be scary. That killing could be scary. He wasn't sure, however, if Taiyo's hesitance towards violence, even in the face of such monsters as the Hellions was a sign of tremendous commitment or a lack of it.

He was pleased to hear that Taiyo hadn't lost anyone. He listened closely and contemplated Taiyo's words. He heard the quiver in his voice as he spoke of killing. His first kill, probably. "...First time shouldn't be easy." Kaen stated quietly. "...But in your case. Take some solace in this. If there is anything in all the worlds that deserve death, it's them." He stated. "They're monsters out of Hell. They didn't end up there by accident. Crimes so vile even Konso can't salvage their souls. And even if that weren't the case...." Now Kaen stared determinedly ahead. "If you pity them still.... Hell must be a terrible place. You must have seen their eyes. Maddened by decades, centuries.... maybe even millennia of agony. Your blade was a mercy to them."

Kaen bit his lip, while pondering Taiyo's other words, and then his eyebrow raised a hair. "I take it your father is the one who bequeathed you such strength and speed. You wish you could have done more.... But you wish you hadn't inherited those powers? Which is it, Taiyo?" He wasn't being coy or teasing. A statement like that was one of the most dangerous things Taiyo could have said. Dangerous for Taiyo that is. Standing between two extremes like that could be tremendously treacherous. "You're standing at the precipice of two worlds Taiyo. One that accepts violence and one that shirks it. Stand between the two, and you'll end up in a lot of trouble one day." Kaen stared off into the sky for a moment in contemplation. "...Accepting it doesn't mean you have to enjoy it though."

"You probably still got time. But I'd do some soul searching. The Gotei had positions that can keep you away from the battlefield. Or it could put you in a position where you would only be expected to help instead of harm-- the fourth for example. You don't have to walk through blood-soaked fields." He smiled grimly. "I made my choice a long time ago. You haven't set yourself on the road either way yet. But you'll need to soon. And personally, I don't think there's any shame in either. You told me when we met you wanted to be a protector. I think I told you then, that of all the roads you could take, that is the most difficult one."

The grimness in Kaen's expression grew. "I tried to walk the road of the protector, and I failed." He admitted.