Impossible Year (Closed JT Abaddon/ Shizuka)

[Abaddon]

Gong….. Gong…. Gong…

The sound of a grandfather clock rung out signifying that it was nine in the morning. The bellowing tones of the clock filled the book laden room. These deep tone awoke Abaddon from the slumber that he had entered the night before. With the final chimes echoing out Abaddon’s eyes adjusted to the dim light in the room allowing him to get a better look at the room he had passed out in. It was his study, a room that he often spent his time in due to his love of books and his nightly writings. Still to pass out simply in this room like he did was a rarity. Why had he done it? The answer wasn’t coming to him no matter how much he tried to think. There on the desk that he had been sleeping on was a half open book. A possible clue to what had caused to fall asleep

Slowly Abaddon reached for the book, at a first glance he wasn’t able to recognize what book it was. The words were written in German, a handwriting that was very familiar to him, but not one that he recognized right off the bat. Turning the book over he saw that it was a solid brown leather cover, no words or images to note who the book belonged to. With his mind still in a haze he slowly turned the book to the first few pages trying to see if there was a title page or a note as to what this book was. Yet there was nothing dictating to him what book this was. Yet the words seemed familiar, looking over the first page he noticed that there was a story and a date. The first page was dated a few months ago and as he started to read more he remembered what this book was, it was his first journal after being reborn.

A cold chill went down his body as the realization of what had just happened transpired through him. It was less than a year that he had been brought back, less than a year that he had written those words down in that book and yet he had already forgotten it all. The haze of waking up was slowly fading away and the memory of what he had been doing the past night came back to him, he had been rereading his events. Abaddon knew it was getting worse, his memory had been slipping here and there, over the past few days more and more. He first noticed it when he had forgotten to go grocery shopping this week and he woke one day with nothing to eat in his home. Later on that same day he had forgotten the name of a contact he made just a few moments earlier.

He had a feeling that last night he tried to reread the events he had written as a way to jog his memory and instead of going to bed he kept on reading. It wasn’t something he was proud of, luckily there was no one else here to remind him of this embarrassment. With the book in hand Abaddon slowly made his way to where he had taken it from last night, there was no reason to keep reading it at the moment and more honestly he didn’t want a reminder of the blunder he did. While keeping his memory intact was something he wanted there were some things he’d rather forget if possible, this being one of the very few.

With that embarrassment behind him Abaddon wanted to start his day, which involved showering and changing his clothing and eating something. While the first two tasks went without issue as he opened the door to his refrigerator, he noticed something that he had hoped he had rectified the night before. The refrigerator was entirely empty. Letting out a heavy sigh he slowly closed the door of his refrigerator and went back to his closet. If there was nothing to eat in his home he would just have to go out for food. While this was a mild inconvenience it wasn’t as if he was really expected to be anywhere that day, he had no plans that he could recall for the day.

With his normal clothing for the day put on, a black suit with a white shirt with matching tie. A long black coat and lastly but most importantly a pair of white gloves he set off for a café he knew nearby that served a decent breakfast. It didn’t take long for him to place his order and sit down at the café table outside waiting for his food. While he waited there was so much to think about, however his mind kept coming back to the same thing, how just a year ago he was dead and now, more than anything he was among the living. It was something that he thought impossible, yet the reminder of what caused that to be reality was still in one of his coat pockets. Abaddon unknowingly while thinking allowed the control of his reiatsu to slip letting those who were aware of the spiritual world sense him. If they had any skill in sensing reiatsu they would feel hollow reiatsu permeating from his body mixed with that of a quincy.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

Shizuka stretched her arms upward so high that she actually felt her sternum crack. It had been a while since she managed to do that and she reflexively reached down with her right hand, running her fingers along the center of her rib cage. She had many late nights these days doing research and trying to figure out who wasn't yet affiliated with some group or war or squad or whatever. She needed to continue to build and prepare, but she was just so tired. The Fullbringer yawned heavily, opening her mouth so wide that she thought her own soul would slip out. This was going to be difficult. After taking a sip of her chai latte, she swayed her head from side to side to stretch her neck and continued taking notes.

Or dicking around on the computer. Shizuka had her laptop with her while she was at a cafe and had actually been there for several hours. It wasn't even noon yet but she felt like she hadn't slept in days. The chai was meant to offset that crazy feeling, the strange sleepy high people get when they're so deprived of decent sleep that they go crazy, but even her favorite drink on this planet wasn't helping. And yeah, she knew there might have been a scarce amount of caffeine in there somewhere, but it didn't matter. She could always sleep no matter what. So what caused her insomnia? Simple! Video games. Always video games.

Her original intention truly was to do research on spiritually aware people. She was going to see if any strange happenings were going on in town and hunt them down like old times. The Fullbringer's minor hiatus away from the world was enough to rest her weary bones, but she only left in order to recruit. She didn't have much luck. Normally, she could meet anyone and convince them to do anything she wanted. This was different, though. She wasn't enjoying this. The thrill was gone. No one was biting, and that was mostly because the world became an ocean devoid of any fish at all. No one was biting because no one was there.

Until now. Shizuka immediately looked up and her gaze shot like daggers across the room. She spotted him. He had leeched some of his spiritual energy out into the world, but that was his mistake. Shizuka could sense people when they did that. It made sense that she couldn't tell anyone was there previously because she didn't have that kind of sensory ability, but this was different. She was doing it on purpose. He was asking for someone to figure out that he existed and she was there! The blonde quickly packed up her belongings and threw them into her bag but kept her chai in her right hand as she approached the man's table. Slowly, calmly, carefully, she sat down across the table from him.

"Oh, sorry," Shizuka began, slowly flipping her hair back with her fingers after she set her things down on the ground and placed her chai on the tabletop, "Is this seat taken?"

[Abaddon]

"Oh, sorry," Abaddon was so busy dealing with his own issues inside of his mind that he hadn’t even noticed that someone had come over to his table. He first assumed that it was a server given the comment and the fact that he hadn’t seen who it was, however upon looking over it was clear that this girl wasn’t a server, her outfit alone was enough to tell him so. This blonde girl was wearing a pair of jean shorts and loose tank top, which wasn't anything like the more conservative and professional outfits that the servers wear. It wasn't something Abaddon would complain about people were allowed to wear whatever  they so wanted to. 

"Is this seat taken?" Abaddon gave a soft smile at the question and to her, it was amusing that someone her age was flirting with him or what he assumed would be her flirting. Afterall he was old enough to be her great, great, great, great grandfather, still he knew that in this body he did look a bit younger than he was. Abaddon slowly rubbed his left thumb against the ring finger of that hand, while his ring was no longer there and he wasn’t married in this life he felt guilt over simply moving on. He could still feel the indent of where the ring had been, it was made too small, but he didn’t care he was just happy that he could have been with her. Taking a deep breath he decided what he would tell her.

“It isn’t, please sit down it would be my pleasure to have someone as radiant as you for company during my breakfast .” He was being polite and receptive to this woman, yes she was attractive and beautiful, however Abaddon himself wasn’t ready to move on, after all for him it hadn’t been a year since he last embraced his wife. He did however think that it was brave for someone to approach another like that in hopes of getting to know them. With that brave effort given he wasn’t about to dash her hopes or ruin her effort, doing that would be rude and more importantly could cause her to lose faith in herself. He had no idea that the blonde girl before him was actually there for something entirely else.

It wasn’t long after the woman sat down that his tea and eggs were done, and the waitress dropped them off at the table giving a small wink to Shizuka as she left. Abaddon had been a frequent visitor here and more often than not as he was leaving, he had a waitress tell him that there were a few girls talking about him. He never really paid mind to those around him when he came here, he wasn’t looking for love, at least that’s what he kept telling himself. Still he hoped that at the very least this encounter would be different than the one he had just a few days ago. That man had been quiet rude and offended him, trying to leave him with a bill as he ran off.

“Now my name is Abaddon, might I have the pleasure of knowing yours?” Abaddon’s bright vibrant orange eyes stared into the eyes of the woman. He was noticing for the first time that she had two different eye colors. That was rare, he had read in the past that there were some people born with two eye colors, yet he had never met anyone with such a condition. Still both eyes were rare and beautiful colors, if any one person was blessed with the clarity and lustrousness of even one of the shades she had they could considered themselves to be considered to be blessed. Using the cutlery that he had been given he cut and took a small bite out of the eggs as he waited to hear her tell him her name, if anything he might make a friend someone who he could talk to, obviously not about his past, but about other things.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

How polite! Shizuka smiled and was pleased to hear that he wasn't going to just kick her out of the chair. She made so much effort into coming over to sit with him, so honestly, she was probably going to just force it on him anyway. The Fullbringer wasn't sure if he knew who or what she was, but she knew about him. Vaguely. She knew he was a spiritual being and she needed to do everything she could to recruit him. The more the merrier, right? After all, she had a job to do.

The man had received food and Shizuka continued sipping on her chai, thankful for the sweet flavor that reminded her of gingerbread at Christmas time. She did happen to catch the waitress winking at her, though, and briefly wondered if that woman was... interested. Not that Shizuka minded. She'd dated someone who was somewhat biologically sort of female before. Was Hebika a female? She identified as one but could always create male bodies and... Shizuka kept her blushing to as much of a minimum as possible at that thought.

"Abaddon? That's a fun name!" Shizuka cheerfully responded to his introduction with her usual bubbly tone. "I'm Shizuka. Shizuka Sanamizu. I'm also the one who will introduce you to your next employment opportunity."

In her experience, Shizuka found that it was best to be as blunt as possible. Not all details were needed at first, though this was a strategy she learned on her own as she attempted to recruit more people over time. Naturally, all beings respond to incentives, be them human or otherwise. Even Shinigami were that way. All she needed to do was make this sound appealing, perhaps somewhat as if she were gossiping, gain his interest, and then take them somewhere more private.

The blonde also noted that he was dressed in typical business casual attire. She enjoyed that. Men who took care of themselves were rated highly in her book. It meant that he took care of himself and wanted to look nice when he was in public. Maybe not everyone cared about appearances, but she certainly did, so knowing that someone else did, as well, made her feel like he would take his potential future role seriously. That is, of course, if he wanted it. Shizuka rested her chin on her folded hands as she braced her elbows against the table.

"You can always tell me no, but I would absolutely love it if you would let me show you what I can do. Maybe that will convince you."

[Abaddon]

"Abaddon? That's a fun name!" that was a different response than what he was use to when he gave his name usually those that heard his name were a bit off put. Some of the more educated folks would ask why he was named after a demon, others would make fun of it. Still he had to wonder where that name came from, as far as he could remember he had always been called Abaddon. Had he adopted the name after he had been turned into a hollow, or was it his birth name. Still to have a pleasant reaction to his name was a nice change of pace.

She gave him her name, Shizuka Sanamizu. That would be easy enough to follow, though he wondered how he should address her. He had been so use to the European way of giving and using names, which was just using your first name and if they were a senor or someone respected you used Mr or Miss for their last name instead. Here in Japan he had come to learn that most often the family name was used as typical every introduction, and only close individuals would ever be on a first name basis. Very different than the way he had been brought up, however when she spoke of a business proposal, he knew how he would have to address her.

She then went on about how she would respect his decision if he wanted to tell her no, but she did want to at least show him what she was capable of. He gently placed down his cutlery and took out his notebook, jotting down her name and a brief description of her. “Miss Sanamizu while I do respect the effort you had to come over here I must say that at this time I am not actually looking to join any organization at this current time. While I have no doubt that you are impressive in many ways, I will have to gracefully decline.” Abaddon closed his black book and took a small sip of his black tea, it was bitter but he was drinking it to wake up.

“Unfortunately, I have plenty of personal matters that I must deal with that I do not want to bother you or whomever you represent, as that would just be in bad taste. I still however would appreciate your company while I finish my meal.” Abaddon tried to let her down gently, however there was much about her offer that he wasn’t too keen on, first off he had no idea who she represented, the first two organizations were the Vandenreich and Uzaki Enterprises, neither of the two he was keen on joining. Secondly he knew strength before, he knew plenty of strong individuals that had existed and yet it in the end it did nothing, one powerful person wasn’t going to be enough to change anything. Thirdly he didn’t see the benefit of joining an organization, as it stood right now he had more than enough to worry about without trying to deal with the politics of an organization.

With all of that said and done he returned to the food he had been eating before, he was still hungry and a single bite of eggs really wasn’t enough to fill his stomach. “All that being said I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before Miss…..” His face was showing that he was drawing a blank on her name. His brow furrowed as he lost himself in his own thoughts attempting to recall the name she had given him just moments before. His expression turned to that of worry as he started to wonder what else had he forgotten in the brief moments that he had spent talking with her. Then a thought came to him, why was he here? Not here eating in the café , but why was here in this world and not in Hueco mundo.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

Decline? Decline? Was he serious? Usually, it was literally as easy as Shizuka asking for someone to join her and they would say yes! This was insane. Abaddon was being absolutely ridiculous. Or was he? The Fullbringer pulled back and lifted an eyebrow, scanning over her breakfast-mate. Lunch-mate? Whatever. He was sitting across from her eating some eggs. Anyway, she wasn't the type to sit idly by or force someone to make a decision that they didn't want to, which meant she was stuck at an impasse for the time being. With herself. A sigh escaped her lips as she lifted her cup of chai and tilted it a bit to all sides, spinning the fluid around as she did so.

"It's Shizuka," she replied, forgetting her mild manners. "And I gotcha. All I'm saying is we could use someone like you. We don't have many of your kind and Xcution would benefit."

She didn't think she was that forgettable, but evidently she was. Shizuka rolled her eyes and looked out the window to the side of their shared table. He seemed serious and acted like he wasn't going to budge, so she wasn't sure what she could do to prove to him she meant business. And did she even want to at this point? Was it worth it? She wasn't sure. She was somewhat desperate to build her army, that much was certain, and she needed all the help she could get if she was going to take down Kento's murderer. Abaddon would be a great person for that. But if he didn't want to be a part of it, then there wasn't a whole lot the blonde would be able to convince him of.

"Alright, fine. I don't normally try to force people to join me if they don't want to, but I haven't met someone yet who said no. Until you." Shizuka put her chai back down on the table, focused on it, then moved the fluid around in a circular motion through her Fullbringer abilities as her finger led the direction from a few inches above the lip of the cup. "But I can help you become an even better version of yourself. If you're interested?"

A gamble, sure. But she decided it was worth it to show him some small glimpse that she was different. He wouldn't understand exactly what she meant until she showed him what she was truly capable of, but that would need to wait. She wouldn't put any of these normal humans' lives in danger if she didn't have to, and this day seemed like a perfectly normal one. Shizuka was thinking she would likely pull her usual move of dragging the man away into the woods so she could, quite literally, level the playing field. Fullbringers were insane with their mastery over an object's soul. She was no exception to this. If he wanted some incentive, she'd give it to him.

[Abaddon]

It's Shizuka

Her soft voice cut through the thoughts he was having, it was that simple word, her name that allowed him to backtrack mentally to where he had been. Before him was someone who took the initiative to come over and speak to him, not only speak but offer him a position in the organization that she was representing. While he was sure that he had already turned her down once she still insisted and then came something that he had been waiting for, the name of the organization. Xcution, while Abaddon had not personally dealt with anyone from there he had heard stories from some lost souls in Las Arenas, none of them painting the organization in a good light whatsoever.

His amber eyes trailed down to watch her finger mess around with her drink, moving the tea without touching it. From what he could tell she was well versed with that application of a fullbringers power. It was clear that she wasn’t a child when it came to the world of the spiritually aware, however her words held a bit of aggression to them that he personally didn’t care for. While it might not entirely be real aggression it came off as such. Abaddon wasn’t really worried, death wasn’t something that he feared, he had died and he had come back once before so he knew it was possible to come back again.

Then he heard her say something that honestly made him laugh, he let out a small chuckle at it before stopping himself from laughing too much. “I’m sorry, it’s just you say you can help me become a better version of myself, yet you don’t know me at all. As for someone never rejecting your offer to join I believe in your skill for recruiting individuals as you seem to have a talent for that, and your beauty doesn’t hurt either.” Abaddon took another bite out of his meal, his huger came back slightly after remembering why he had been here in the café. As he saw it he stood to gain nothing from joining Xcution and the likelihood of him being ordered or forced to kill someone was hig, something he didn’t want to have to do.

“Miss Shizuka, you say that you can help me become a better version of myself, however I believe that you mean a stronger version. That isn’t necessary a better version of me, tell me honestly why you came to me, surely there are stronger and more willing individuals than myself who would take your offer no questions asked. If you do that I will consider your offer rather than turning it down as I rightly should.” Abaddon wanted to know the truth, it didn’t make sense as he wasn’t the strongest person around and if she was looking for quincy there were plenty of free quincy that she could try and recruit, all bloodthirsty to get back at the Vandenreich.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

"Hmm. Your flattery is wasted on me, you know. Although, I don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't enjoy a compliment, regardless. But no. I don't mean 'stronger.' I mean 'better.' There's something in you that I can see even without talent in energy sensory. I've seen it before in people like you. Intuition and analysis both tell me there's something you want. Judging by the fact that you couldn't even remember my own name despite how I look being pleasing to you, I could wager a guess."

Shizuka wasn't born yesterday. She had developed herself over the years as someone who could read people like a book. She may not necessarily be able to tell him about every single detail of his life or look into his memories, but she could easily make educated guesses with very little information. The Fullbringer smiled and looked at Abaddon's eyes. Familiar and yet so old. He had no doubt had a long life even though he didn't look as if he did. The details of such were unbeknownst to Shizuka, but his eyes told her enough. He had some goals, no doubt, and among them was one that she bet she might be able to grab his attention with.

"Abaddon, you have a hard time remembering things, don't you? It's not unusual for people to forget someone's name after having brief conversations, but this isn't a brief conversation. Your confused looks between when I sat down and this very moment have clued me in on a couple of things. The first was what I just mentioned. The other is frustration over that. It's fascinating. You hate that you're forgetting things."

She didn't know exactly what he was forgetting, but she saw it all over his face while they were talking. He would appear to be clued in on the conversation and then suddenly remember he had food. He seemed to forget that he was at a cafe and then it was as if a light bulb went off when he remembered that he was. Abaddon had memory problems. These weren't normal behaviors of normal people, regardless of their race. The only time she ever knew of someone forgetting something this severely was a Hollow forgetting its life as a human. Or perhaps... A human forgetting their life as a Hollow. Could that be it?

Shizuka didn't hear of this kind of thing that much at all. She knew people could die and either become pluses or Hollows or, in some cases, Sinners. There were options, basically. But she never thought about the possibility that someone like that could walk the Earth again as a human. She simply never considered it. Of all the people she had met, not a single one ever made her think that situations like those could be possible. Even now, coming up with theories, she didn't want to believe them. Perhaps this was a classic case of dementia or something? She couldn't be certain. Then again, she'd never know unless she asked.

"How old are you?" The question came out bluntly and quickly, immediately followed by another one. "How long have you been alive? And by that, I mean how long, total."

[Abaddon]

“Astute, that’s another word I will have to use when writing about you Shizuka.” Abaddon slowly flipped over to the page he had made notes on before. Unlike the last time Abaddon kept the book open on the table so she would see that the page had a sketch of her done next to words all written down in German. The sketch was well done, each line replicating her features exactly as they would have been in real life. Next to the paragraph he had written down by her name he started adding some more notes all in German for his own personal use.

After that was done he would close the leather bound book and looked at Shizuka again. “Yes, you’ve summarized correctly that I am indeed having some memory issues, a main reason as to why I have these journals of mine. They allow me to revisit anything important that happened if by chance I forget them.” It was at this time that Abaddon would softly tap his index finger against the leather-bound cover, in roman numerals on the cover there was a clear XVI. He knew without saying anything that she would understand what those numbers on the cover meant, after all she had been clever enough to know that he was older than he looked.

“Now your question is an interesting one, you ask how long I have been alive for. I know you mean the total length of my existence, yet you seem to imply that after death one is not alive, do you think that death, and I mean the death of one’s body is the actual end of their life? Do spirits not have feelings? do they not have their own wills, dreams, ambitions desires, memories and experiences? I would say that anything that can express its self is still alive and not dead as you put it.” Abaddon reached for his own tea taking a sip as he waited for her to respond to that or be silent.

By the time he finished a small sip he placed the tea cup down on the table. Folding his hands he spoke again, “In terms of actually having a flesh and blood body I believe that I am around twenty seven years old, however I have existed since the sixth century. In a few months I will be one thousand five hundred and one years old. Most of my time I was something else, most of my memories of that time are clear to me, yet some things before, after and even some events during tend to be fuzzy.” Once again Abaddon rubbed the ring finger on his left hand.

“Hannah was her name, before you ask she was a simple country girl taken in by my stories of my old village. I still remember to this day the flames that engulfed our cottage, the smell of their chard corpses.” Abaddon stopped running his finger up and down where the missing ring should have been. He figured it would be better to get that out in the open rather than having her ask another question that he knew she would figure out. Shizuka was clearly smart, smarter than he originally gave her credit for, in this day and age he assumed most people who were spiritually aware were more arrogant and brash given the state of the worlds at this time.

Now that all that was out there, he would wait to see what Shizuka would say, he doubted that there was much that they could offer in ways of helping him with his memory issue. Before he had all of Las Arenas to help, or at least ways to get help from them. From Arrancars specializing in healing to memory affecting Nakabaki he had tried several ways to keep his memory issues from deteriorating, yet nothing seemed to help, so he had various doubts about the ability of her and Xcution being able to help. Especially given the rumors that he heard that they had only been recruiting human world dwellers.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

“Astute, that’s another word I will have to use when writing about you, Shizuka.”

"Hm?"

Shizuka tilted her head and glanced downwards at the book that Abaddon was doodling in. She noticed the sketch he drew and couldn't help but admire. The man was talented, for sure, but definitely very scatter-brained. He couldn't really keep a solid thought going and god easily distracted, but that was fine. The Fullbringer smiled as her eyes softened. He was just a totally normal person after all. She didn't have much reason to worry about him. Abaddon was trying to figure himself out and wasn't going to let further distractions get in his way. That was good, right? Suddenly, Shizuka felt a little bad for being as forthcoming as she had been.

“Yes, you’ve summarized correctly that I am indeed having some memory issues, a main reason as to why I have these journals of mine. They allow me to revisit anything important that happened if by chance I forget them.”

"Haha! I knew it!"

But she didn't realize exactly how old he actually was. She blinked as Abaddon tapped on his book and symbols appeared. She knew what those were. In truth, Shizuka didn't know everything about the world and was still learning every day. To come into contact with someone like Abaddon was a once in a lifetime experience, to say the least. She listened to him explain himself further, sounding rather philosophical, and chose to be polite rather than accusatory as she formerly was. His words made sense, though. She'd often thought about exactly what he said. How many people, spirits or otherwise, had she forced into nothingness?

"They do, but some matter less. I realize this is an unpopular opinion."

“In terms of actually having a flesh and blood body I believe that I am around twenty seven years old, however I have existed since the sixth century. In a few months I will be one thousand five hundred and one years old. Most of my time I was something else, most of my memories of that time are clear to me, yet some things before, after and even some events during tend to be fuzzy."

"I've met people like you, but not quite that age. I mean, not really. They either never told me or I knew they weren't that old." Shizuka noticed Abaddon rubbing his ring finger on his left hand and opened her mouth to ask another question, but he interrupted.

“Hannah was her name, before you ask she was a simple country girl taken in by my stories of my old village. I still remember to this day the flames that engulfed our cottage, the smell of their chard corpses.”

So that was it. He had lived so long his memories were fading. He had many lives and was forgetting most of them. He had a past that he never wanted to forget and feared perhaps he might. Shizuka sat back in her seat and crossed her arms, then shortly thereafter crossed her legs. As she glanced around the cafe they sat inside, she wondered what else she could offer him that would be like music to his ears. What else could she possibly say that would make him realize she was serious? But then it hit her. No one truly died. No one was completely wiped out of existence. Well, they were, but not in this case. Not with how his family passed away.

"Then I can offer you something stronger than your memory. I can give you your family back."

[Abaddon]

"Then I can offer you something stronger than your memory. I can give you your family back."

Abaddon raised his hand at her offer and shook his head at her statement. “It has been over a thousand years since they have last seen me and I have last seen them. In that time they have changed and I am sure I have as well. That’s if even if they’re still alive as souls, in the time I was away from them they could have easily been reincarnated, or even worse they’re trapped inside of hollows lost forever to the whims of a shingami to purify them. Thank you Shizuka but no, I’d rather not cling onto hope.”

Abaddon wasn’t an idiot, he wasn’t a fool, he knew the chances of actually finding them was slim and even more so in the time that he was away from them they would have changed, so much that he possibly couldn’t even recognize them anymore. If Abaddon had been younger and a bit more open hearted, if it had been only a few years since the death then he would have accepted, but he knew the harsh truth time had moved on and he had to as well. Abaddon rubbed the ring finger again as he let out a deep breath.

Slowly he picked up his tea taking another sip from it, sadly it was starting to cool and so was his food. The conversation was going on longer than he had expected, but it wasn’t a bad one, he was learning a lot about her even if she didn’t think he was. “If I had been a younger man Shizuka I would have taken that offer, that one filled with hope. See, that’s the trouble with hope it’s hard to resist. Hope will keep you going on in the false sense that there is something that’s worth all the heartache and pain. Hope will keep you from moving on and keep you in place. I have spent too long just existing, to spend the time I have now trying to reclaim a past that has long since been erased. I have to move forward with this chance given to me.”

Given how much effort she was putting into trying to recruit him there had to be something else that was going on. “Shizuka please be frank with me, why are you trying so hard to recruit someone who’s clearly working on their own issues. Please tell me what about me has made you think that I’m worth the effort that you’re putting into recruiting me.” Abaddon wasn’t exactly sure as to what she thought that made him special, making him a better version of himself? An interesting prospect, but then that meant she had an idea about him, but what was it. Even still he couldn’t imagine what she wanted him to do for Excution, as far as he knew they were filled with assassins and saboteurs, that didn’t sit well with him at all.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

It was obvious to Shizuka that Abaddon was doubtful. She understood why. How many times had he searched, she wondered? What could he have possibly done to look for them after all this time? The blonde thought to herself for a moment, trying to relate his experiences to her own. She knew what it was like to lose someone she cared about and had gone through that. She blamed herself for it. Should she have? No, maybe not. But she did anyway, and he likely did, too.

Shizuka grew frustrated, though not with the man. "Hope has nothing to do with it. I have connections. You of all people should know that souls never die. Not really. They must be out there. Whether they're still in the cycle or not might be up for debate, but doesn't that mean they would be in Soul Society?"

She wondered that for herself, actually. Was Kento's soul still lingering? Was he actually just hanging out in Soul Society, laughing at her for not thinking of this sooner? Shizuka bit her bottom lip and looked away from Abaddon for a moment. She suddenly felt very conflicted. Her entire reason for recruiting people was to rebuild Xcution to the glorious state it used to be. This organization gave her a purpose, a meaning, and had helped her develop in ways she didn't realize she could. But she also wanted someone dead. And for what? To find out that Kento was simply waiting to be reincarnated?

Abaddon's words ended the Fullbringer's inner mind babble. They cut through her self-involved focus and forced her to look back up into his eyes. She noticed how serious he was and how curious he was of her answer. She supposed she owed him something, right? An explanation? And not simply some excuse, but her real reasons. She doesn't approach every spiritually aware being she comes across. Reasons do exist. The least she could do was talk to him about it.

"Everyone has something motivating them to make certain choices. I think you and I are the same. You may not be able to exact revenge for the loss of your family, especially if it's been thousands of years and the murderers are dead by now, but we can make up for lost time. I've lost someone, too. My goals are not necessarily blind revenge, though. I want to make up for everything bad that has happened to the people I love and I can't do that alone. I need a team. A family. If you don't want to be a part of that, I can't force you. I've said this. But I can encourage you to change your mind."

[Abaddon]

“They must be out there. Whether they're still in the cycle or not might be up for debate, but doesn't that mean they would be in Soul Society?"

It wasn’t a case if they were out there or not, it was more about the time between him and them that they had spend apart. In that time Abaddon had changed, he had become less joyful, less of the artist that had wooed Hanna. He had vague memories of who he use to be and he knew that time had changed him into someone very different. Even by the off chance that she was the same he had changed it wasn’t that he wanted them back, it was that life had changed him and without a doubt had changed her.

Abaddon noticed that Shizuka turned away for a moment biting down on her lip. He raised an eyebrow at this, all this time she had been watching him, now she was avoiding eye contact with him. Had she said something that caused her to think back? Was she just realizing something that she had been avoiding? It wasn’t important at the moment as it seemed his words brought her attention back to him. He would question her later on about that thought, if he got a moment to do so, however it seemed that she was going to give him an answer to what he asked.

Abaddon listened to her reason and when she was done he took a final sip from his cup leaving the empty cup on the table. He thought for a moment about what she said, she was claiming she didn’t want just blind revenge on what happened, but she does want some sort of vengeance as to what happened. He could understand where she was coming from, hell he knew the pain that she was feeling or had felt, he experienced it while knowing all the time that something was wrong, so he sympathized with her plight, but he wasn’t sure as to what his role would be.

He looked shizuka dead in the eyes as he spoke these next few sentences. “You mistake my situation for yours Shizuka. I have already destroyed those that killed my love ones. I killed them with my arrows, I utterly destroyed their souls giving them no chance at salvation or rebirth. I have already had my revenge. I’m at peace with their deaths I do miss them, however I no longer yearn for them. “ He stopped for a moment looking down at his book, there was a reason why he didn’t want to go looking for them beyond just believing it was pointless.

He looked back at her and sighed knowing that he would have to tell her the reason he was avoiding looking for them more. “Think of this Shizuka, in a thousand years my child would have grown, married someone they loved and possibly had a family of their own. Yet I would only know of them as how they were, in all that time I’m sure that they would have moved on. My wife Hanna as much as I love her it’s been over a thousand years, I wouldn’t doubt or blame her if she moved on and gained happiness with another. How could I claim I love her and yet be willing to go and ruin any sort of happiness she has by forcing her to see me? What sort of man would I be to force her to choose between me and someone else? This is all assuming that they hadn’t been reincarnated or eaten by hollows.”

“Do you know why quincies don’t spread the truth of the afterlife to the common masses? It isn’t because no one would believe us, no we could clearly create ‘miracles’ with our techniques to make them believe us. We don’t do it because the truth is ugly, we all want to believe that there is a place where our loved ones are waiting for us, watching over and growing with us. But the truth is that they aren’t they’re moving on, not knowing if they will ever see us again or if we’re even alive. That sort of afterlife isn’t kind, it’s a cruel one that we live in.” He let out a heavy breath as he placed down some money down to pay for everything before standing up grabbing his book.

It was at this time that Abaddon’s height would be clearly seen, while he was a tall individual while sitting down the full stature of his height was much taller than the average man. He would stand almost a full two feet taller than Shizuka. “You seem to have some hope about something, that alone is worth looking into, your contacts…. Could prove useful to something that I am looking into so for now I’m hesitantly saying yes I will help, however I do want it to be clear that I am not an assassin, I’m not a weapon to be pointed at someone and fired out without question. If we are clear with that then come, I think I have something more useful that my combat skill to show you.”

Abaddon would offer his hand to Shizuka to help her out of her seat. His hand still having the white gloves that he often wears. He was trying to be polite to her and act as a decent civil human being, he would take her hand and help her up if she did. He would walk with her out of view of the café, going down a side street that had an alleyway. He would look down it before holding the fragment of Las Arenas. He looked out to the empty alleyway and forced a garganta to open the dark void ripped opened a hole in reality and he started to walk into it. He assumed that Shizuka knew what a garganta was this particular one was set to drop them into the middle of the desert in las noches.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

Convincing him was going to be hard. She was confident in her own abilities but Shizuka had never met someone quite as stubborn as Abaddon. He was definitely dead-set on opposing her, and that was fine. She didn't want to press the issue any further. She heard his words and understood where he was coming from, but Shizuka knew she could do so much for Abaddon through her organization and with her abilities. This was no different. She wanted to prove this to him but that was going to be complicated.

Abaddon generously paid for everything, making Shizuka feel mildly guilty, but she wasn't going to say anything. She simply owed him for next time. But what followed was surprising. After all of this, after everything he had told the Fullbringer, Abaddon stood up and explained himself. He was going to help her. He was also significantly taller than she was. Shizuka felt as if she had to crane her neck back just to look at him, and this was after she accepted the offer of his hand and stood up, as well.

"Not everyone in my organization is an assassin. I wouldn't even say that I'd categorize any of us as such, but it's a loose term. We do what needs to be done to the people it needs to be done to. But I'll hear you out."

Shizuka allowed the man to lead her where he wished to go, though he seemed to be sure that they would end up away from anyone else out of fear of getting caught. That was relatively considerate. Honestly, Shizuka wasn't totally sure how she missed supernatural action during her early years and mistook it for natural disasters. It was all so obvious now. Even the garganta that Abaddon opened was like commonplace to Shizuka. That, alone, was shocking enough.

But she followed him nonetheless. She had been through Las Noches before, albeit briefly. She never had time to explore and she was sort of knocked out when she passed through, so she was too weak to truly appreciate it. It was nice to be able to observe this other world while completely coherent. But it also made Shizuka pause for a moment. Why did he want to show her something here? And what was more useful than his combat skill aside from valuable personality traits?

"What is it you want to show me?"

[Abaddon]

"What is it you want to show me?"


Abaddon looked at her and raised an eyebrow at her comment, especially given what just happened and what he had just done. She had called him out by his race before and she wasn’t shocked at the very fact that he had used a garganta and traveled to Hueco mundo? What the hell was wrong with her? Was she dim or just ignorant about the sheer impossibility of what he had just done. He a quincy used a technique that was reserved for hollow’s and arrancar, he used it freely without any sort of drawback or hinderance.

Abaddon knew that Shizuka was a smart person so was this just due to her lack of knowledge? It had to be; he couldn’t believe that someone who was that talented in recruiting people was an idiot. Still the comment made him second guess the idea of actually giving her organization a chance. If her lacking this sort of knowledge was common place then he had several concerns about the actual ability of the organization to properly manage it’s members and report back. If Shizuka had lofty goals not having simple knowledge of the races and their limits it would be a major hinderance.

He had to at least understand if she really knew what she had stepped through and the significance of it all. “Shizuka, forgive me but I don’t mean to be rude at all, but you do understand what you just walked through is right? Let me be clear, you understand that you walked through a garganta, a hollow and arrancar specific technique right?” He looked at her waiting for her to answer him, he really needed to understand if either she didn’t know what he had done or if she was just dim.

Her answer gave him the information he was looking for and it honestly left him rather upset at it all. He took a deep breath of the air in this world, it was different that that of the living world, the air here was filled with reiatsu, heavy and strong. “Shizuka, hollow reiatsu is toxic to quincy, so much so that one wrong move here in this world and I could end up dying a painful and horrific death. So why would you see a quincy use a technique that should be lethal to them and simply ignore it? Or….. did you not know that about quincy?... Shizuka tell me what you know about the other races, no wait tell me how many races are there not counting humans without powers.” Abaddon had a very sinking suspicion that Shizuka wasn’t as knowledgeable about the spiritual world as she let on.