Post by Zeich Yajuu on Jul 10, 2013 16:59:14 GMT -5
((OOC: This is to gain TTP strictly.))
It was late afternoon, and Zeich was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The day had been slow, with no tasks to be done, no situations which required the efforts of a Third Seat to see to them. It was strange, thinking on it in retrospect; as a lower-ranked officer, Zeich had often been busy with various routine tasks, even if it was something as simple as domestic disturbances within the Rukongai. Very rarely did something happen among the Shinigami aside from the occasional dispute that could easily be settled through words rather than actions, and as a result, the newly-promoted Third Seat had found himself left with nothing to do. Most of the simple tasks were taken by unranked grunts, while the more complicated ones that required the attention of higher-ups were non-existent. So for once, and it was certainly odd that it happened, Zeich found himself bored.
Turning his head slightly, Zeich glanced at the books over on his desk, ones he had borrowed from the main library in Seireitei. The first was a book on the analysis of personality and emotion from a psychological standpoint, including a detailed perspective on what causes emotion and ways to balance it out. Next to it was another, smaller book on meditation and the control of one’s psyche to keep calm in stressful situations. Though the second tome was meant for social situations, particularly as a means of anger management for individuals who had difficulties in high-stress environments, Zeich had looked through it and found several techniques for attempting to suppress fear and anxiety. He had spent the last two days reading through both books, and his work showed; a small pile of notes lay next to them, written in a precise hand with only a slight list to them.
Since he had started his studies, Zeich had been looking for a means of using the things he had learned in both combat as much as he had in social situations. The former was the biggest problem; in the heat of battle, the Third Seat’s emotions had been getting dangerous lately, to the point where he was on the verge of bursting in anger or frustration. Fear often set in as well, as such powerful emotions tended to attract the Shadow, and thus the threat to Haiiro increased as well as the being’s demands for the body it had supposedly “earned” through their contract before his death. Zeich had been purposely pushing any offers to spar or interact because of those emotions, and as a result had been viewed as a shut-in lately, one who kept only to himself, away from all others.
Closing his eyes, Zeich reviewed what he had learned from his studies. He had been working to develop a means of controlling or completely blocking off his emotions through the use of Reiatsu, as it was likely to be far more effective than simple mental control. Mental control was not impossible, and Zeich believed that with time and practice, he could learn such self-discipline, but time was not something he had a lot of with the Shadow’s constant presence of late. As a result, emotional control through the use of Reiatsu was ideal; Zeich was already skilled in several techniques that used Reiatsu to augment or alter the body’s various states, though mostly on a physical level; if he was able to do that, what was stopping him from being able to make careful alterations on a mental level?
That brought things back to the last object on the desk, a chart on the physiology of the human brain. At first, Zeich had assumed the research to be fairly straightforward, assumed that he would be able to find a single point in one’s brain to simply “shut off’ temporarily in order to stop emotion for a short time. However, the brain was far more complex than he had originally expected; there were several centers that controlled and regulated emotion in different ways, meaning that he could not just simply flip a switch with Reiatsu, so to speak; he had to find a way to target very specific centers, and not all of them either. Some were used for triggering reflex and reaction to stimuli, such as one’s tendency to jump when startled, while others were used for making one’s thoughts flexible and adaptable to various situations. Overall, there was no simple solution for creating such a technique.
Still, that had not stopped Zeich from trying to do so. Over time, he had analyzed that the best portions of the brain to target in order to achieve a suppression of emotion without immediate mental harm, and had discovered to his surprise that the best means of dealing with his emotional control was actually to strengthen two major regions of his brain, ones that facilitated mood stability and emotional control. It was still a risky technique to use without truly understanding it, however; extensive augmentation of such centers had the potential to release excessive amounts of spiritual energy to a center of the body that was not used to it. If the Reiatsu became too strong, or was present for too long, then it had the potential to burn out those centers, leaving a person without emotion or any sort of mood control. While some would find such a calm, empty state to be ideal, such a fantasy was flawed; without emotional understanding and experience, one could not relate or interact with others successfully, even to the point of accepting orders or making a purchase at a shop. In other words, life without emotions was a very empty one.
I suppose at this point all that’s left to do is to actually test it… Zeich sat up in his bed, swinging his legs around so that his feet were on the floor. The theory was fairly simple in its overall design, but the method of doing so required some fine points. Even after his studying, the Third Seat was not sure that he could target the specific centers of his brain that would be required in order to augment his mood and emotional controls. It was a risky business, as tampering with incorrect regions would cause other changes to his mental state, including not only his emotions, but his perceptions, his senses, his bodily control… there was a lot of risk in such an experiment, and plenty that could go horribly wrong.
His decision made despite his hesitation, Zeich wrote a quick note and attached it to his door; that was his precaution in case something went wrong. The note was simple: should he not be out of his room by noon the next day, then Squad 4 was to be alerted and he was to be taken to them for care as a result of what was likely to be a failed experiment. The note also went on to include that no one was to bother him unless it was an emergency, and his authority as a Third Seat meant that only another high-ranking officer could overwrite him, so he would have the privacy he needed to avoid interruption and distraction. The last thing he needed was to have someone come in and disrupt him while he was trying to figure out this technique, only to scramble his brains by startling him!
Once the note was placed, Zeich returned to his bed, sitting atop it with his legs crossed before him, like the guide to meditation suggested. The Shinigami closed his eyes, let himself sink into relaxation, starting from the legs and working up through his body. Each muscle tensed briefly before relaxing, giving him a floating sensation, as if he were as light as air. This too was in accordance to the book he had been reading, and so he moved to the next step, visualization. The manual he had been reading had suggested looking in a mirror to observe the body, to get a mental picture of the physical form so as to visualize it better at a later point. Zeich had taken the time to memorize his physical appearance from his amber eyes to the shape of his thin, long fingers, capturing every detail.
Once the visualization of the body was done, Zeich had to next visualize the flow of energy. This was where he would be diverging from the book; he would not be visualizing the flow of the physical energy, the energy that powered the body and ran through it to control and maintain it. Instead, the Third Seat was going to be visualizing the spiritual energy that flowed throughout his body, a latent pool that could be channeled and focused in specific ways to create the multitude of techniques Shinigami used. Within that spiritual energy were two types: the first was the general spiritual energy, the Reiatsu that was used to power Kido, Hakuda techniques, even stepping techniques. Within the greater sphere of that overall energy was another type, one that was dedicated solely to a Shinigami’s Zanpaktou. This part of the spirit still used the overall pool of Reiatsu, but that form of spiritual energy was unique to each Shinigami, and it was a part of his spirit that Zeich wanted to try and avoid using so as not to allow a means for the Shadow to alter his emotional awareness.
Zeich was imagining the flow of his Reiatsu now, which was not difficult; he visualized it as a human-shaped mass of energy, with a smaller mass centered at the chest, which would be the soul, the Zanpaktou spirit and the Inner world. It flowed throughout his body in no seeming patterns, at harmony with itself always despite the apparent chaos. Oddly enough, he visualized his outer soul, his Reiatsu, as a vivid yet calm silver color, while his inner soul was a brilliant gold. That gold was streaked with lines of bloody crimson in his visualization, the concept of the Shadow eating at his inner power. It was hard to explain what made him pick those colors, only that he felt that they were right for him.
Now came the tricky part, siphoning off small parts of the outer energy and directing them to specific portions of the brain. This was particularly difficult because while he could easily visualize his body and thus could move Reiatsu to his limbs or out of specific points more easily, he could not visualize his brain. The only means of doing so he had were through the chart he had borrowed, and even with that it was hard to imagine something that was written on paper versus that which was before one’s very eyes. Still, Zeich was determined to try, and let his focus flow inward, let himself feel the workings and movements of his body. It was imperfect, as he couldn’t exactly “see” the inside as much as he could visualize the outermost layers of skin and bone, but in a way he could sense the motions, the rhythms and vibrations of his organs and blood.
Slowly Zeich traced those pathways, letting his mind move along the flow of physical and spiritual energies, slowly guiding his conscious perception upwards. He passed along the spine and throat in his exploration, and was shocked at the sheer number of impulses moving down the spine and thus the nervous system. Every motion he made, every thought that ran through his head, and everything that he felt all triggered something in some way or another. The shock alone, for example, triggered impulses that caused his muscles to tighten slightly, caused a slight shot of adrenaline that came as part of the flight-or-fight response to being startled, and then the realization of it all happening caused another trigger. It was amazing how delicate and detailed the human body was; Zeich could almost imagine why those who joined Squad 4 did so; it was fascinating to get a feeling of this on a distant level, and doing so much more directly with the use of medical Kaido must be that much more amazing.
There was no time for distraction, however; Zeich continued to move along the flow of his body’s energy until he reached the brain. At this point, however, he found himself overwhelmed; if he had thought just the central nervous system along the spine was complex and vibrant, then the brain was far beyond his feeble comprehension. Impulses and signals continued to run rapidly at all times, surging energy going in all directions and yet somehow all synchronized to do so without interfering with each other. For a moment he paused, lost in the sensations, the feelings, the pulsing. None of this was detected on a visual level, as he couldn’t delve into his own body in such a way, but he could feel the sensations through the Reiatsu he was using to trace the paths to his mind.
Then he shook himself out his reverie, realizing that he was getting distracted once more. He had work to do, finding the right sections of the brain. This would require careful touch, but Zeich had prepared himself for this situation. Cautiously, the Third Seat reached out and used the slightest touch of Reiatsu against the first collection of impulses he found. Upon doing so, however, he felt his whole body whirl, his balance suddenly thrown off as he fell from the bed. His concentration broken, the Shinigami broke out of his trance and steadied himself, surprised at how dizzy he had just become for that brief moment. It took a few moments while the effects of that delicate touch of Reiatsu faded, allowing Zeich to regain his balance and sit up once more.
Rubbing at his head, Zeich realized that he had altered the wrong section of his mental impulses. That had been the cerebellum, according to the charts and the notes on them, which affected movement coordination and balance. Simply put, he had shut down his sense of balance by overloading it for a brief moment, which was certainly nowhere close to what he was aiming to do. With a sigh, the Third Seat moved himself back to his bed before placing his pillows on the floor in case he did something stupid with his balance again; his shoulder hurt slightly from the previous impact, and he did not care to injure himself more than he already risked doing so by messing with his brain.
Once he was ready again, Zeich delved back into the depths of his body, his mind racing along the circuit of his spiritual and physical energies to return to the mind once more. This time, he recognized the impulses that made up his cerebellum; after experiencing them once and making his touch upon them, he oddly was able to recognize the cluster again by the way it pulsed and its effects as it did so. It was constantly active as even unconsciously Zeich kept up his sense of balance, sitting upright rather than lying on his back. Certainly that was a handy way of recognizing it, and the Third Seat made mental note of it as he continued to search around with his Reiatsu, using it in a sonar-like sense to detect larger clusters of impulses. As he did so, he noticed that another section pulsed more powerfully; was that the section dedicated to memory? If so, Zeich believed that it would be best to avoid that area, as the region was part of the temporal lobe and not his target.
No, what Zeich was looking for was two parts of the limbic system, the amygdala and the hypothalamus, which both coordinated emotions in different ways. The latter was emotions in general, through which the Third Seat could dull the overall force of his emotions and suppress anger or frustration more readily, which seemed to attract the Shadow more than anything else. The former, however, regulated fear in particular as well as a number of other emotions, and suppressing fear was another way to suppress the Shadow’s attention towards him. These two sections would be difficult to simply locate, but if he could find one, Zeich was confident that he could trace the paths to the other.
And what are we up to, my body to be…? Zeich jerked in reaction to that, and several portions of his brain’s impulses lit up at once. The strongest, however, immediately drew his attention, and he reflexively sent a pulse of Reiatsu towards it, hoping that it was the fear reflex. Immediately several portions of his mind quieted down, though at the same time, several others began acting up. In his physical body, Zeich began to feel hunger, to feel thirst, despite his body needing neither at the moment. He realized with a start that he had overfed Reiatsu into the region, which was causing several of his body’s sensations to go haywire. Quickly he withdrew the energy, though it still acted up for a moment afterwards as his brain adapted to the change and began to settle back to stability.
When the upset was settled, Zeich immediately dove into his Inner World, his mind racing. Had the Shadow noticed his work? Was it up to something even now? Quickly the Shinigami found himself atop the plateau of his Inner World, briefly pausing to observe the forest below. Despite being burnt down over a month ago when the Shadow first attacked, the forest hadn’t shown any signs of recovery, leaving dry and twisted husks of trees below, with only the innermost showing any signs of green foliage on them anymore. It was like one last stand against the being’s dark influence as it tried to take control of the Third Seat’s soul, leaving Zeich very, very afraid of what it was capable of if the Shadow could simply destroy the majority of his innermost being.
Haiiro looked up at his master’s hurried approach, ears lowering as he noticed the Shinigami’s distressed expression. “Is everything alright, master? You seem upset.” Zeich stared in surprise, not sure how to take the statement. Haiiro did not seem upset or worried in the least, which was completely the opposite from his normal actions should the Shadow have been seen; the wolf was deeply afraid of this other being, the dark creature that held a claim on Zeich’s body. If the Shadow had been present at all, Haiiro would have been recovering from terror at very least; he had seen how Polaris had simply been annihilated by their enemy, lost in the flames of an attack that had seemed off-hand at best.
“…It’s nothing. I just… must have imagined it.” Haiiro said nothing, tilting his head again in confusion, but he left it be; as part of the Shinigami’s soul, he understood the man’s moods and knew when to leave off on questioning. Zeich turned to leave, confused as he faded away from his Inner World; what had he heard while he was trying to locate the proper impulse? Had he just imagined the Shadow’s voice as a subconscious means of finding that area, or was there something more sinister to it all? Either way, it made the Shinigami uncomfortable, prompting him to wrap up his experiments soon. One more test, he resigned himself; after that, he would leave it be for the day, let things settle down.
Once he was out of his Inner World, Zeich closed his eyes again and let himself fall back into the meditative trance. It was a lot easier with practice, and he found himself following the pathways more quickly than before, soon making his way back into the Reiatsu-based perception of his brain. Remembering where he had “felt” the emotional shifts before, he targeted them once more and let a light touch of Reiatsu flow into them. He felt his body relax more, his mind becoming more at ease, but he also felt empty, and had a sensation of something being wrong. It was unnatural for the body to have its emotions suppressed, so Zeich steeled himself against the strange feeling, instead relaxing and increasing the flow slightly so as to further supplement the suppression effect.
Opening his eyes in the real world, Zeich found himself able to think coolly, logically; he took a moment to imagine the Shadow taking control, to call up his fear of it, but all he had was a calm detachment as he attempted to worry himself. Sure, it was something that he could consider threatening and hazardous to his health, but the Third Seat was able to think objectively, relaxed and composed. That meant that his experiment was a success; he could relax his emotions, calm his fears, and keep himself composed and level at all times. This wasn’t something he could do in battle just yet, he figured, but it was a start; over time, he would be able to use it at will. For now, he decided to rest; practice would come with time.
It was late afternoon, and Zeich was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The day had been slow, with no tasks to be done, no situations which required the efforts of a Third Seat to see to them. It was strange, thinking on it in retrospect; as a lower-ranked officer, Zeich had often been busy with various routine tasks, even if it was something as simple as domestic disturbances within the Rukongai. Very rarely did something happen among the Shinigami aside from the occasional dispute that could easily be settled through words rather than actions, and as a result, the newly-promoted Third Seat had found himself left with nothing to do. Most of the simple tasks were taken by unranked grunts, while the more complicated ones that required the attention of higher-ups were non-existent. So for once, and it was certainly odd that it happened, Zeich found himself bored.
Turning his head slightly, Zeich glanced at the books over on his desk, ones he had borrowed from the main library in Seireitei. The first was a book on the analysis of personality and emotion from a psychological standpoint, including a detailed perspective on what causes emotion and ways to balance it out. Next to it was another, smaller book on meditation and the control of one’s psyche to keep calm in stressful situations. Though the second tome was meant for social situations, particularly as a means of anger management for individuals who had difficulties in high-stress environments, Zeich had looked through it and found several techniques for attempting to suppress fear and anxiety. He had spent the last two days reading through both books, and his work showed; a small pile of notes lay next to them, written in a precise hand with only a slight list to them.
Since he had started his studies, Zeich had been looking for a means of using the things he had learned in both combat as much as he had in social situations. The former was the biggest problem; in the heat of battle, the Third Seat’s emotions had been getting dangerous lately, to the point where he was on the verge of bursting in anger or frustration. Fear often set in as well, as such powerful emotions tended to attract the Shadow, and thus the threat to Haiiro increased as well as the being’s demands for the body it had supposedly “earned” through their contract before his death. Zeich had been purposely pushing any offers to spar or interact because of those emotions, and as a result had been viewed as a shut-in lately, one who kept only to himself, away from all others.
Closing his eyes, Zeich reviewed what he had learned from his studies. He had been working to develop a means of controlling or completely blocking off his emotions through the use of Reiatsu, as it was likely to be far more effective than simple mental control. Mental control was not impossible, and Zeich believed that with time and practice, he could learn such self-discipline, but time was not something he had a lot of with the Shadow’s constant presence of late. As a result, emotional control through the use of Reiatsu was ideal; Zeich was already skilled in several techniques that used Reiatsu to augment or alter the body’s various states, though mostly on a physical level; if he was able to do that, what was stopping him from being able to make careful alterations on a mental level?
That brought things back to the last object on the desk, a chart on the physiology of the human brain. At first, Zeich had assumed the research to be fairly straightforward, assumed that he would be able to find a single point in one’s brain to simply “shut off’ temporarily in order to stop emotion for a short time. However, the brain was far more complex than he had originally expected; there were several centers that controlled and regulated emotion in different ways, meaning that he could not just simply flip a switch with Reiatsu, so to speak; he had to find a way to target very specific centers, and not all of them either. Some were used for triggering reflex and reaction to stimuli, such as one’s tendency to jump when startled, while others were used for making one’s thoughts flexible and adaptable to various situations. Overall, there was no simple solution for creating such a technique.
Still, that had not stopped Zeich from trying to do so. Over time, he had analyzed that the best portions of the brain to target in order to achieve a suppression of emotion without immediate mental harm, and had discovered to his surprise that the best means of dealing with his emotional control was actually to strengthen two major regions of his brain, ones that facilitated mood stability and emotional control. It was still a risky technique to use without truly understanding it, however; extensive augmentation of such centers had the potential to release excessive amounts of spiritual energy to a center of the body that was not used to it. If the Reiatsu became too strong, or was present for too long, then it had the potential to burn out those centers, leaving a person without emotion or any sort of mood control. While some would find such a calm, empty state to be ideal, such a fantasy was flawed; without emotional understanding and experience, one could not relate or interact with others successfully, even to the point of accepting orders or making a purchase at a shop. In other words, life without emotions was a very empty one.
I suppose at this point all that’s left to do is to actually test it… Zeich sat up in his bed, swinging his legs around so that his feet were on the floor. The theory was fairly simple in its overall design, but the method of doing so required some fine points. Even after his studying, the Third Seat was not sure that he could target the specific centers of his brain that would be required in order to augment his mood and emotional controls. It was a risky business, as tampering with incorrect regions would cause other changes to his mental state, including not only his emotions, but his perceptions, his senses, his bodily control… there was a lot of risk in such an experiment, and plenty that could go horribly wrong.
His decision made despite his hesitation, Zeich wrote a quick note and attached it to his door; that was his precaution in case something went wrong. The note was simple: should he not be out of his room by noon the next day, then Squad 4 was to be alerted and he was to be taken to them for care as a result of what was likely to be a failed experiment. The note also went on to include that no one was to bother him unless it was an emergency, and his authority as a Third Seat meant that only another high-ranking officer could overwrite him, so he would have the privacy he needed to avoid interruption and distraction. The last thing he needed was to have someone come in and disrupt him while he was trying to figure out this technique, only to scramble his brains by startling him!
Once the note was placed, Zeich returned to his bed, sitting atop it with his legs crossed before him, like the guide to meditation suggested. The Shinigami closed his eyes, let himself sink into relaxation, starting from the legs and working up through his body. Each muscle tensed briefly before relaxing, giving him a floating sensation, as if he were as light as air. This too was in accordance to the book he had been reading, and so he moved to the next step, visualization. The manual he had been reading had suggested looking in a mirror to observe the body, to get a mental picture of the physical form so as to visualize it better at a later point. Zeich had taken the time to memorize his physical appearance from his amber eyes to the shape of his thin, long fingers, capturing every detail.
Once the visualization of the body was done, Zeich had to next visualize the flow of energy. This was where he would be diverging from the book; he would not be visualizing the flow of the physical energy, the energy that powered the body and ran through it to control and maintain it. Instead, the Third Seat was going to be visualizing the spiritual energy that flowed throughout his body, a latent pool that could be channeled and focused in specific ways to create the multitude of techniques Shinigami used. Within that spiritual energy were two types: the first was the general spiritual energy, the Reiatsu that was used to power Kido, Hakuda techniques, even stepping techniques. Within the greater sphere of that overall energy was another type, one that was dedicated solely to a Shinigami’s Zanpaktou. This part of the spirit still used the overall pool of Reiatsu, but that form of spiritual energy was unique to each Shinigami, and it was a part of his spirit that Zeich wanted to try and avoid using so as not to allow a means for the Shadow to alter his emotional awareness.
Zeich was imagining the flow of his Reiatsu now, which was not difficult; he visualized it as a human-shaped mass of energy, with a smaller mass centered at the chest, which would be the soul, the Zanpaktou spirit and the Inner world. It flowed throughout his body in no seeming patterns, at harmony with itself always despite the apparent chaos. Oddly enough, he visualized his outer soul, his Reiatsu, as a vivid yet calm silver color, while his inner soul was a brilliant gold. That gold was streaked with lines of bloody crimson in his visualization, the concept of the Shadow eating at his inner power. It was hard to explain what made him pick those colors, only that he felt that they were right for him.
Now came the tricky part, siphoning off small parts of the outer energy and directing them to specific portions of the brain. This was particularly difficult because while he could easily visualize his body and thus could move Reiatsu to his limbs or out of specific points more easily, he could not visualize his brain. The only means of doing so he had were through the chart he had borrowed, and even with that it was hard to imagine something that was written on paper versus that which was before one’s very eyes. Still, Zeich was determined to try, and let his focus flow inward, let himself feel the workings and movements of his body. It was imperfect, as he couldn’t exactly “see” the inside as much as he could visualize the outermost layers of skin and bone, but in a way he could sense the motions, the rhythms and vibrations of his organs and blood.
Slowly Zeich traced those pathways, letting his mind move along the flow of physical and spiritual energies, slowly guiding his conscious perception upwards. He passed along the spine and throat in his exploration, and was shocked at the sheer number of impulses moving down the spine and thus the nervous system. Every motion he made, every thought that ran through his head, and everything that he felt all triggered something in some way or another. The shock alone, for example, triggered impulses that caused his muscles to tighten slightly, caused a slight shot of adrenaline that came as part of the flight-or-fight response to being startled, and then the realization of it all happening caused another trigger. It was amazing how delicate and detailed the human body was; Zeich could almost imagine why those who joined Squad 4 did so; it was fascinating to get a feeling of this on a distant level, and doing so much more directly with the use of medical Kaido must be that much more amazing.
There was no time for distraction, however; Zeich continued to move along the flow of his body’s energy until he reached the brain. At this point, however, he found himself overwhelmed; if he had thought just the central nervous system along the spine was complex and vibrant, then the brain was far beyond his feeble comprehension. Impulses and signals continued to run rapidly at all times, surging energy going in all directions and yet somehow all synchronized to do so without interfering with each other. For a moment he paused, lost in the sensations, the feelings, the pulsing. None of this was detected on a visual level, as he couldn’t delve into his own body in such a way, but he could feel the sensations through the Reiatsu he was using to trace the paths to his mind.
Then he shook himself out his reverie, realizing that he was getting distracted once more. He had work to do, finding the right sections of the brain. This would require careful touch, but Zeich had prepared himself for this situation. Cautiously, the Third Seat reached out and used the slightest touch of Reiatsu against the first collection of impulses he found. Upon doing so, however, he felt his whole body whirl, his balance suddenly thrown off as he fell from the bed. His concentration broken, the Shinigami broke out of his trance and steadied himself, surprised at how dizzy he had just become for that brief moment. It took a few moments while the effects of that delicate touch of Reiatsu faded, allowing Zeich to regain his balance and sit up once more.
Rubbing at his head, Zeich realized that he had altered the wrong section of his mental impulses. That had been the cerebellum, according to the charts and the notes on them, which affected movement coordination and balance. Simply put, he had shut down his sense of balance by overloading it for a brief moment, which was certainly nowhere close to what he was aiming to do. With a sigh, the Third Seat moved himself back to his bed before placing his pillows on the floor in case he did something stupid with his balance again; his shoulder hurt slightly from the previous impact, and he did not care to injure himself more than he already risked doing so by messing with his brain.
Once he was ready again, Zeich delved back into the depths of his body, his mind racing along the circuit of his spiritual and physical energies to return to the mind once more. This time, he recognized the impulses that made up his cerebellum; after experiencing them once and making his touch upon them, he oddly was able to recognize the cluster again by the way it pulsed and its effects as it did so. It was constantly active as even unconsciously Zeich kept up his sense of balance, sitting upright rather than lying on his back. Certainly that was a handy way of recognizing it, and the Third Seat made mental note of it as he continued to search around with his Reiatsu, using it in a sonar-like sense to detect larger clusters of impulses. As he did so, he noticed that another section pulsed more powerfully; was that the section dedicated to memory? If so, Zeich believed that it would be best to avoid that area, as the region was part of the temporal lobe and not his target.
No, what Zeich was looking for was two parts of the limbic system, the amygdala and the hypothalamus, which both coordinated emotions in different ways. The latter was emotions in general, through which the Third Seat could dull the overall force of his emotions and suppress anger or frustration more readily, which seemed to attract the Shadow more than anything else. The former, however, regulated fear in particular as well as a number of other emotions, and suppressing fear was another way to suppress the Shadow’s attention towards him. These two sections would be difficult to simply locate, but if he could find one, Zeich was confident that he could trace the paths to the other.
And what are we up to, my body to be…? Zeich jerked in reaction to that, and several portions of his brain’s impulses lit up at once. The strongest, however, immediately drew his attention, and he reflexively sent a pulse of Reiatsu towards it, hoping that it was the fear reflex. Immediately several portions of his mind quieted down, though at the same time, several others began acting up. In his physical body, Zeich began to feel hunger, to feel thirst, despite his body needing neither at the moment. He realized with a start that he had overfed Reiatsu into the region, which was causing several of his body’s sensations to go haywire. Quickly he withdrew the energy, though it still acted up for a moment afterwards as his brain adapted to the change and began to settle back to stability.
When the upset was settled, Zeich immediately dove into his Inner World, his mind racing. Had the Shadow noticed his work? Was it up to something even now? Quickly the Shinigami found himself atop the plateau of his Inner World, briefly pausing to observe the forest below. Despite being burnt down over a month ago when the Shadow first attacked, the forest hadn’t shown any signs of recovery, leaving dry and twisted husks of trees below, with only the innermost showing any signs of green foliage on them anymore. It was like one last stand against the being’s dark influence as it tried to take control of the Third Seat’s soul, leaving Zeich very, very afraid of what it was capable of if the Shadow could simply destroy the majority of his innermost being.
Haiiro looked up at his master’s hurried approach, ears lowering as he noticed the Shinigami’s distressed expression. “Is everything alright, master? You seem upset.” Zeich stared in surprise, not sure how to take the statement. Haiiro did not seem upset or worried in the least, which was completely the opposite from his normal actions should the Shadow have been seen; the wolf was deeply afraid of this other being, the dark creature that held a claim on Zeich’s body. If the Shadow had been present at all, Haiiro would have been recovering from terror at very least; he had seen how Polaris had simply been annihilated by their enemy, lost in the flames of an attack that had seemed off-hand at best.
“…It’s nothing. I just… must have imagined it.” Haiiro said nothing, tilting his head again in confusion, but he left it be; as part of the Shinigami’s soul, he understood the man’s moods and knew when to leave off on questioning. Zeich turned to leave, confused as he faded away from his Inner World; what had he heard while he was trying to locate the proper impulse? Had he just imagined the Shadow’s voice as a subconscious means of finding that area, or was there something more sinister to it all? Either way, it made the Shinigami uncomfortable, prompting him to wrap up his experiments soon. One more test, he resigned himself; after that, he would leave it be for the day, let things settle down.
Once he was out of his Inner World, Zeich closed his eyes again and let himself fall back into the meditative trance. It was a lot easier with practice, and he found himself following the pathways more quickly than before, soon making his way back into the Reiatsu-based perception of his brain. Remembering where he had “felt” the emotional shifts before, he targeted them once more and let a light touch of Reiatsu flow into them. He felt his body relax more, his mind becoming more at ease, but he also felt empty, and had a sensation of something being wrong. It was unnatural for the body to have its emotions suppressed, so Zeich steeled himself against the strange feeling, instead relaxing and increasing the flow slightly so as to further supplement the suppression effect.
Opening his eyes in the real world, Zeich found himself able to think coolly, logically; he took a moment to imagine the Shadow taking control, to call up his fear of it, but all he had was a calm detachment as he attempted to worry himself. Sure, it was something that he could consider threatening and hazardous to his health, but the Third Seat was able to think objectively, relaxed and composed. That meant that his experiment was a success; he could relax his emotions, calm his fears, and keep himself composed and level at all times. This wasn’t something he could do in battle just yet, he figured, but it was a start; over time, he would be able to use it at will. For now, he decided to rest; practice would come with time.
