Akira's CIU (hotfix)

[Akira "Komadori" Kanamaru]

Character Name: Akira Kanamaru
Previous Real Age: 243
Current/New Real Age: 243
Previous Age of Appearance: 20
Current/New Age of Appearance: 20
New Ideals/Personality: Unchanged.
New Appearance: Unchanged
New Height/Weight: Unchanged

New Face Claim: Unchanged

New Powers: Unchanged

New Type: Unchanged

Fighting Style: Unchanged

Zanpakuto Appearance: Unchanged

Zanpakuto Release Names & Callouts: Unchanged

Overall Ability:

Minakata Suzaku is a kidō type zanpakutō which focuses on the element of fire, the ruling element of the Guardian of the South. She extends her domain over flame, freedom and the skies upon Akira - an arsenal worthy of an avatar of a forgotten goddess.

Shikai Overall Ability:

Minakata Suzaku, as the Guardian of the Celestial South grants Akira dominion over the ruling element of fire, while her aspect as the Empress of Birds bestows her with dominion over the skies. Her glorious wings allow her to fly and glide freely, with the grace of a large bird of prey. These wings are spawned from Akira's reishi and while they are mesmerizing to behold, they are formed from flames that burn anyone in close vicinity (red flame, 525 degrees Celsius). While not indestructible, they can only be blown apart, not severed - and they can be regrown as an action by spending 100 reiatsu (50 for each wing). The heat radiated by the celestial fire doesn't affect Akira, nor does the fire injure her in any way.

The damage caused by the wings is measured the following way:

Touch: Third degree burns
<2m: Second degree burns
3-5m: First degree burns

Range doubles in Bankai due to the wingspan being vastly increased. Burns lose one grade of severity should the victim have 25% OS superiority. The heat can be ignored completely with 50% OS superiority. Enemies need to spend one post in the ranges to receive the burns - they increase in severity by one grade for each subsequent post spent within the aura.

Additionally, the ambient reishi in the air around Akira falls under her domain while she is in a released state. The area in her vicinity is treated as having no "air ground" on which enemies can step on - Hohō abilities based on air platforms are ineffective. The range of this ability is 20 meters.

Maintaining the ability to fly costs her 20 Reiatsu per post.

Finally, while she has Fire Resistance 3 or higher, no flame can hurt or maim her, be the source kidō, another Shinigami's release or even a Resurrección. While this provides no true resistance and they still do damage, she cannot suffer physical injury, as Suzaku would not let her suffer such humiliation from her own element. This effect is entirely cosmetic for the most part, and essence is drained instead by the hostile flames - she simply grows fatigued and faints if the damage becomes overwhelming. Should she die from such an attack, her body collapses into a heap of fine, golden ash on the spot.

Weakness:

Requires Martial Arts [Aerial Combat] to be utilized effectively. The destruction of her wings or sealing of her Shikai can lead to her falling down from afar. The heat makes it difficult for allies to fight close to her. While fighting her close range is hazardous because of the searing heat, her long weapon and tremendous wingspan make it difficult for her to fight in close quarters. The moodiness of the zan can be a nuisance until Bankai, and thus subjugation has been achieved.

Bankai Overall Ability: Unchanged

Zanpakuto Techniques:

Shikai

Technique Name: Nijū Ryūsei (Twin Falling Star)
Class: 4 (Shikai)
Cost: 150 Reiatsu
Technique Description and Effects:
Whether through bravery or desperation, Akira can choose to channel her release into a daring nosedive, spear in hand. Nijū Ryūsei is a combined attack that uses both Physical and Spiritual stats. The attack's OS is calculated by adding the user's Strength and RS stats together. If the attack hits, her wings collapse upon the victim in a torrent of fire, causing third degree burns on most of his body.

Technique Drawback: Can only be performed via an airborne charge which needs at least 10m to wind up. The wings formed by her Shikai are discarded if the attack hits.

Stats & Skills:

A T T R I B U T E S

Strength: 100
Speed: 400
Reiatsu Strength: 400 [600]
Spiritual Pressure: 200 [300]
Instinct: 185 [120]
Senses: 100 [65]
Energy Sensory: 0
Light aura: 60
Dark Aura: 40
Healing Expertise: 0 [LOCKED]

REIATSU POOL: 3000/3000

S K I L L S

Weapons (Zanjutsu): [1]
Weapons (Sojutsu): [2]
Martial Arts (Hakuda): [3]
Martial Arts (Tae Kwon Do): [1]
Martial Arts (Aerial Combat): [2]-1
Kido: [2]
Acrobatics: [2]-1
Strength of Will: [1]
Battle Analysis: [1]
Fire Resistance: [1]
Charisma: [1]

What kind of update: Release Update, Stat Hotfix.
Current Rank: Rank 2, Squad 9 Third Seat
New Rank: Unchanged

IC Reasoning:

Akira is a Kido prodigy. Both her Type and background story reflect this, the stats should also. The thread in which the observations came up was “In the Wake of Tragedy (Shizuyoko + Akira JT)”

OOC Reasoning:

First character, assumed that Kido is covered by buying the spells...Didn't know there was a Kido skill until TV told me - now the skills meet the requirement of Heavenly Strike and her profound talent in the Demon Arts, among others. Release update because I was informed late that heat needs to be quantified to be anything else than fluff - it wouldn’t make sense that her hot wings (no pun intended, 525 degrees Celsius) don’t burn anything close to them.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

Hey! Before I'm able to grade this, I need you to fill everything out completely. I have to be able to see your old powers that you wish to change, so just add a spoiler or something to specify. To make it easier on us mods, we typically look for this type of formatting when looking at a CIU so that we know we are completely up-to-date. Once that's organized, I'll check this out again!

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

Perfect, perfect. Love the format change! I appreciate that! Also, just as a warning, though I doubt any changes will need to be made, you did post your ability for me to see. At my discretion, if I disagree with something in the white text, I can request for it to be altered accordingly. Alrighty, let's see here.

Her glorious wings allow her to fly and glide freely, with the grace and speed of large birds of prey.

Be specific about the Speed. Stat boosts aren't okay, so if this boosts her regular Speed at all, that's a no-go. If it simply allows for flight at her normal Speed, okay. That's something else entirely. Also, you can't have free flight. It needs to either have a cost associated with it or a post duration before she is forced to land. I would recommend either 20 Reiatsu per post (cheap because it's just flight) or a 5 post duration and 1 post of resting before she can take off again.

These wings are spawned from Akira's reishi and while they are mesmerizing to behold, they are formed from flames that burn with the heat of a yellow star's corona (6000 Celsius).

Okay, so we need to do a little science here. You can't have something that hot. No one would be able to come within MILES of Akira. You need to bring this down to an average red flame heat of 525 degrees Celsius. The reason for that is actually how you would like your new mechanics to work. If anyone touched anything that was 6000 degrees-C, they would die. Immediately. Roleplaying in an imaginary world aside, they would die. If you wish for your mechanics to work, you need to bring this temperature down. Otherwise, it's an insta-kill and that is not allowed. Your Release also effectively locks people out. That's a huge no.

Touch: Fourth degree burns on the affected limb.
Melee range: Fourth degree burns after a whole post's duration spent in the radius, high stamina loss for shorter exposure.
0-2m: Third degree burns after a post's duration, medium stamina loss for less exposure.
3-5m: Second degree burns after a post's duration, light stamina loss for less exposure.
6-10m: First degree burns after a post's duration.

What is "melee range?" Be specific. You have another option right after that saying 0-2m. Isn't that melee range? Consider reorganizing these distances. I also don't think it should span to 10m. I think it should be 5 max. That's going to be 16 feet. That's a large radius already. The durations are also entirely too short. Again, you're locking people out from attacking her. That's not allowed. The further away someone is, the longer it will take to hurt them. The post duration should match the maximum amount of meters it takes for the effects to happen.

Range doubles in Bankai due to the wingspan being vastly increased. Burns lose one grade of severity should the victim have 25% OS superiority. The heat can be ignored completely with 50% OS superiority.

This is fine, but apply the same rules that I said about the durations in the previous mechanic.

Finally, no flame can ever hurt or maim her, be the source kidō, another Shinigami's release or even a Resurrección. While this provides no true resistance and they still do damage (albeit only if their OS exceeds hers by over 1.5x or they use a superior Class technique), she cannot suffer physical injury, as Suzaku would not let her suffer such humiliation from her own element.

You can't be fire resistant unless you have the proper amount of points in a Fire Resistance Skill. Show me those points, and this is fine. If you don't have those points, take this out completely. She is not immune to flame.

Hellfire is an exception to this due to it being the antithesis to someone under the aegis of a benevolent celestial being.

Wait, what? Explain this, please.

Akira can choose to channel her release into a daring nosedive, spear in hand, lancing her enemy with the force of a ballista bolt.

Force is relative. Be specific when talking about how hard something hits.

Her Speed and Strength gain a 25% buff for this attack in Shikai, culminating in a 50% buff in Bankai. If the attack hits, her wings collapse upon the victim in a torrent of fire, causing third degree burns on most of his body.

No buffs. This needs to be taken out. You're free to keep the force of the attack being equal to her Strength and OS combined.


We'll start here. I may end up needing to peer over at Akira's Bankai depending on what Shikai mechanics are related to it.

[Akira "Komadori" Kanamaru]

Hi!

As I said in Discord, here's the stuff I came up with.

"Her glorious wings allow her to fly and glide freely, with the grace and speed of large birds of prey."

This is just fluff. There is no stat boost associated with it.

"These wings are spawned from Akira's reishi and while they are mesmerizing to behold, they are formed from flames that burn with the heat of a yellow star's corona (6000 Celsius)."

I'd be willing to bring the heat down to the heat specified by you. Instead of goofing around with range bands I'd just say touching the wings has the same effect as touching fire or red-hot iron, including possible ignition, and that staying in melee range fatigues people unless they have (25-50%) OS superiority due to the heat, as suggested before. I'd leave hammering the mechanical details up to you, the interval of worsening burns should however be measured in seconds, not posts. My suggestion would be 3 second intervals of exposure (3-6-9-12) with clothing igniting after the first, flesh and skin igniting after the third tick.

"Finally, no flame can ever hurt or maim her, be the source kidō, another Shinigami's release or even a Resurrección. While this provides no true resistance and they still do damage (albeit only if their OS exceeds hers by over 1.5x or they use a superior Class technique), she cannot suffer physical injury, as Suzaku would not let her suffer such humiliation from her own element."

I can roll this back to provide no real fire resistance and be a purely cosmetic effect (no visible injury from burning) unless she has appropriate stats to back it up (Heat Resistance), in which case the release could make the resistance stronger. That was my original draft anyways, however I was told "not to lowball myself" when making the character, so I do formally request to review this power with the graders before I nerf it, since it was explicitly discussed  during the grading and passed subsequently.

"Hellfire is an exception to this due to it being the antithesis to someone under the aegis of a benevolent celestial being.
Wait, what? Explain this, please."

Suzaku/The Vermilion Bird are benevolent celestial beings inherently opposed to Hell. It felt fair to have this drawback. By hellfire I mean a release that literally conjures fires out of Hell, by extension probably also Akki with fire releases.

"Akira can choose to channel her release into a daring nosedive, spear in hand, lancing her enemy with the force of a ballista bolt."

This is just flavor text.

"Her Speed and Strength gain a 25% buff for this attack in Shikai, culminating in a 50% buff in Bankai. If the attack hits, her wings collapse upon the victim in a torrent of fire, causing third degree burns on most of his body."

The buffs would have been minuscule anyways since her Speed will never exceed 400 (meaning that she needs to pin someone with Kido to make this workable at all) and she'll never have enough SP to push her Strength above 200 either. I'll just remove them and keep the update.

One last thing:

"While the wings deal damage via Reiatsu Strength, the spear itself is a physical weapon that uses Strength as the offensive stat."

This needs to be removed as it was an oversight from where I didn't understand site mechanics yet - there is only one OS unless there's more that would qualify.

In total I can say that this started out as a hybrid build, which turned out not to be workable due to the OS/Clash system. With the SkP penalty incurred by having to pick up additional Heat Resistance I might have to redo the SkP allocation once again, so please contact me once you have a reply.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

If there is no Stat boost associated, then I would remove the "speed" part. I know it may seem arbitrary, but it can definitely be read as some form of boost in some way.


Touching fire does not equate to touching red-hot iron. The type of iron that you specified burns hotter than the flame temperature I gave you, so we need to just keep it at that temperature. No rephrasing or comparisons or any of that. This is the temperature it gets. I'd prefer to keep the mechanics the same as what I had written out before in order to comply with your original intention. I think that would just work best, and the adjusted distances should also be applied. I heavily disagree with possibly ignition unless the appropriate conditions for fire igniting anything is met. You can argue prolonged exposure, but the fact of the matter is that the flame has to touch the item directly to ignite it just as it would anything else. Seconds are also relative. The reason I prefer posts is because time is extremely liquid on our site and will come to arguments when you thread with people. What constitutes a proper second in the middle of a thread? Theoretically, if someone comes within a meter of her wings within a single post of combat, not even a full turn, they would experience the burns regardless.


With the fire resistance, I explained this to you before, but you have a new mod grading you now who may or may not agree with what was passed before. You have to talk to me about this grading, not the mods who looked at your app the first time around. Not everyone is going to agree with each other, which is why we have the 2/2 process. Even this CIU is going to have a second mod looking at it who may see things that I "nerfed" that they don't agree with and request a change. That's how this works. I will not consult anyone else unless I choose to, so please stop asking for that. I simply said that fire resistance cannot be done unless she has the proper amount of skill points to back it up. That remains my ruling. I will not pass her simply being able to ignore "cosmetic" changes due to fire for no reason just based on Release. If she has a 4 in fire resistance, then by all means, go for it. Even a 3 can be argued. But I expect to see that. Otherwise, she can be hurt by it just like anyone else.


I think we should just group the Hellfire thing into the above paragraph. Fire is fire.


Again, even as flavor, that force is a real thing that can be argued if you're in a thread and will cause frustrations. If you have a legitimate force attached to her attack, it needs to be specifically written out and not simply made into a loose comparison. I did tell you what force I'd be okay with you having if you choose that path.


Yes, I agree. There is one OS based on whichever of those three Stats is the highest. You're free to remove that statement.


I also noticed none of the changes were made yet because you must have been just waiting for a reply from me, which is fine, but please make the requested changes before we continue.

[Akira "Komadori" Kanamaru]

Changes have been made, added a time limit to the heat as requested aswell. Forgot to type an actual answer here, didn't realize until Ray told me.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

(albeit only if their OS exceeds hers by over 1.5x or they use a superior Class technique)

Why do you have a strikethrough? Is this statement intended?


In your OOC reasoning, you still mention the 6000 degree wings. This may have just been an oversight but I'd change that for consistency. Once these things are addressed, I'll throw my stamp on here.

[Akira "Komadori" Kanamaru]

Yea those were just oversights, corrected now.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

[Ludwig Verrlicht]

Heyo I’ll be taking on the 2/2 for your CIU. Before anything else if you want feel free to hit me up on discord about the grading. I’ll make certain to get back with you asap on any questions or comments you have. With that said let’s hop on into this grading.



Shikai Overall:

So first thing I’d like to see here is a wingspan. How large are the wings, also let me know if there is a range. Say she wants to change the size/thickness of them. If not don’t worry about it. Also as for the ability to regrow them I’d like the cost to increase to 100 per wing blown away or otherwise destroyed. You have the ability to fly and move at your max speed, hell it doesn’t even disallow shunpo so I’d imagine you won’t lose these terribly often.


Next we gotta talk about the ability to resist the latent heat that they give off. This is directly opposed by Heat Tolerance. Thus if a character has a point in Heat Tolerance it should also lower the type of burn inflicted for that range. Now the one thing I do have a question over is what you mean by touch. Touching you or your wings? Reason I ask is because with a Heat Tolerance of 3 this should completely negate the negatives to coming in contact with Akira as a person. Her wings however should still give a first degree burn, I mean seriously, they are touching an actual flame which would be a little silly haha!

Next are the smaller details of this Shikai Overall. So first thing we are increasing the reiatsu needed to fly to 50 per post. Nothing huge but enough to show some noticeable strain over time. This should be really the only cost you have with regards to your wings as the odds of you getting them destroyed or blown away are fairly slim as far as I see it.

Then we have the air ground lock out. So my question here is you specified Hoho abilities based on air ground, what are you specifically talking about? Are you denying step techs as a whole around you or anything related to air ground? There are techniques related/built upon air ground and step techs with other variations built on them so I want to understand fully before grading. Especially because if you can deny say a shunpo there’s nothing stopping you from denying a sonido, bringer light, etc.

Lastly just edit fire resistance to “Heat Tolerance” this is the sites equivalent skill.

Zanpakuto Tech:

Niju Ryusei:

So first and foremost as your drawback are you discarding the wings for the remainder of your release or are you simply discarding them to be used in the attack itself? Basically is it permanent or temporary loss? If temporary put in that a drawback is having to reform her wings. Also on the point of temporary wing loss if that’s the case then I’d like to see a cooldown of 1 post for this technique. My reason for the cooldown is because you’ve an attack that adds two different OS’s. Now this isn’t persay a stat boost but it’s basically the next best thing. So a little cooldown between uses is needed here given you’re using both as it’s OS.

One thing that needs to be added here also is a means of toning down the damage as far as the fire is concerned. I’m alright with keeping the fire burning but I’d like to see how someone can tone it down to a 2nd degree burn. My recommendation is by having a 2 in Heat Tolerance. This shouldn’t get negated by a 3 but I’d say a full body first degree is good. You can mention in this also that in bankai a 3 is needed to get 2nd degree burns. This way you can see a clear improvement.

Lastly I’d like to see an increase in cost up to 200 reiatsu. Mostly for being able to add both OS. It’s not much but it’s enough to warrant the edge you get from this attack. Especially in a class against another technique.



Everything else looks good so hit me up on discord or we can talk on the thread. Whatever suits your fancy.

[Shizuka Sanamizu ✮]

It has officially been a month with no response, so I'm going to archive this for now. If you wish to continue the grading, simply address the changes requested and re-report it!