Post by Marcelius on Feb 16, 2014 18:45:54 GMT -5
(OoC: Sorry about the delays Kiddos, Valentines weekend was a four day event for me. XD Anyways, post up!)
Glaring, struck silent by it all, an old man did what he could to restrain himself. To keep his thoughts focused, and his words tempered. The situation was...unpleasant, beyond the expression of words. Few times had the he felt such a pit in his chest. Yes, a Hollow was feeling noticeably empty. How else could it be described? Even heartless, Marcelius felt such a pain of loss. It was though a dear loved one were dying, and with no way to prevent the inevitable. The source of this vacancy were the choices of another. Llusia, passionate and stubborn, had chosen quite a path for herself. One which Marc would have never condoned. One he never could. She practically leaped when he voiced his complaints, placing herself between himself and the Shinigami. This itself was odd, present company considered. In what world, this or the next, would Llusia have any reason to suspect Marcelius of hostility? When had he ever shown her any reason to think he was a being of violence? The answer was never. Not to his knowledge, at least. So for her to act as though he would strike at any moment could only mean she knew how truly he hated their partnership.
It is because of this, Marcelius would notice his own behavior. Realizing how he had spoken, how stern his voice had been. The problem was, this did not stop him. Knowing he was coming off as agitated or even hostile, he found no method by which to stop. No, they both needed to know how this affected him. As it was said, it was like watching a loved one fade away. "What is it...that you believe bothers me most?" For now his voice remained coarse and unmoved. His daughter's frustration and the Shinigami's earnest words did little to invoke his sympathies. "Do you suppose it is this affair? Your infatuations?" The stress it placed on him to hold back a torrent of feelings, remained quite clear. Closing his eyes, his lip quivering in the slightest of ways. Just enough for both to take note. Whether it was grief or anger, would be impossible to say. "You came to me, devastated by the actions of a Shinigami. Not once, but a second time. You tell me everything: of how you met him...of how you left him. For the second time, you sought my support...for what a Soul Reaper had done to you." Stepping now, so that he might be closer to Llusia; Marcelius wanted these words to be hers alone. "You accept my help. I rebuild what damage they leave behind...then what?" There are no glances to Masayoshi...at this point, he might as well not exist. This was not meant to be a cruelty per say...this was but a means to convey the old Fraccion's solitary fixation. After all...he was here for only one of them.
"You think it ends once you feel better. You think all the wounds are healed, when you no longer fret of the consequences. When the pain you found while seeking indulgences has left." Yes, indulgences. To Marc they were not worthy to be called romances. "What you do not know, what you do not feel...is the pain within me. A suffering made of more than heartache. A torment, constructed of anxiety and fear. Anxiety that you will go out again. That you will fall prey to the desires and cravings of others. Anxiety...that you will be yet another victim. And fear. Fear...that such a fate is what you desire most. To lose yourself in torrents of lies about love, hoping that with enough deceit, you might forget your troubles." By the time he began to speak of his fears, his very sure began to shiver with terror. The other's would not have to understand, or even empathize with it...but they could not deny it's shift. This was a father, living in constant worry. "And what do I find, when I seek you out? My little girl, hanging from a rail...threatening to end her own life.
There was almost a laugh in his speech, but if it were there...it would be of only shock and disbelief. "Better still. The only thing keeping her from death, is the man she nearly killed. A man who, on her last encounter, attacked the moment he learned she was a Hollow." Now the astonishment hinted by his momentary laugh, became abundantly clear. "I find you, ready to leap to your death, and you tell me "I would have survived." If that is true, then you were only playing a prank. To that I must ask, what kind of love is built with tricks?" Where his words had started with vigor, possessing all the charm a pulpit might need...the ending was solemn. "And then you would go so far as to ransom your own happiness. To threaten the one who holds you so dear, with your eternal sorrow. Do you not know, what such words do to me? Would you tear the hole in my chest wider still?..."
The elder tilted his head, as if fighting the urge to look away. His teeth sank into the flesh of his inner lip, a method his Hollow side always used to soothe his nerves. Here it did not work...instead, it only added to his grief riddled appearance. "Llusia...", both of his arms raised, each of his large hands clasping hold of her shoulders. "I want you to quit this obsession of yours. This game in which you create affections and try to twist them into something they are not." His hands clasped hard against her shoulders, conveying the desperation of his message. "Behave with the wisdom your age should possess. Let real love find you...rather than destroy yourself chasing its ghost." What he thought next, he could not dare say aloud. There was too much hurt connected to the thought. "Though I am here now, to mend the pieces others leave behind...I will not always be so." Yes. The final tragedy which every father must face...the reality that they cannot protect their children forever.
And with such a notion now firmly plastered into the framework of his mind, he hugged her close. His arms practically engulfed the petite girl, while his block of a head rested against her own. Hugging her close, he could already feel he was losing her. Long before his death had even arrived, she was fleeting from his care. the hug was tight, holding her close so she coud understand just how much she really meant to him. Why it was impossible for him to not follow her, when she had given him such much cause for alarm. The sincerity of the Arrancar would also be quite evident to the Soul Reaper; who could see clearly from where he stood. Ah, but what of the suitors message? His pledge of feelings and profession of commitment? Oh...it was in no way unnoticed. With Llusia locked into his hug, their eyes were free to greet one another. Hearing how deeply the Shinigami had drawn upon his creativity...to answer in the way he thought was best and most respectable; Marcelius saw every reason to repay such effort. Hopefully, it would not overwhelm the child.
How many Shinigami of Masa's age or skill, travel freely to their inner world? Is it rarity, or routine? With the level of clarity Marc could hear Masayoshi's Inner Spirit speak, the trip should appear quite routine. Therefore, it would be no terrible shock to his system, when the Death God found himself within the realm of Kikenkaze. He would notice almost immediately, the decorum of his inner world. Today, however, a new feature would dot the massive scape. The talk figure of the senior Arrancar. Within this realm, a construct of mind and soul, the two would talk in private. Standing alone, with Llusia no where in sight. The only other resident free to join there privacy, was Kikenkaze hersel...ves. As high spirited as she is, most certainly she would be here to add to their exchange. This was to be a full conversation, in the blink of an eye. Well, as much of a conversation as being talked at could be. Marcelius was only here to share his thoughts, not to consider the boy's...we will see how that pans out. "Leave my daughter alone."
The old man stated with a chilly disconnection. "I will ask, until my voice gives out. I will ask until my lungs no longer have strength. Leave my daughter alone." But his ill temperament quickly faded. Shinigami or not...this was a man whom could be reasoned with. Or, so Marc hoped. Having displayed a genuine amount of courtesy, there was reason to believe he would continue to listen. Let's see if this gamble would work out. "Llusia has told me everything that has happened between you two. More even, than she might have realized or intended." Hopefully the Death God could adjust to the way Marcelius sounded within his soul. A voice that came from everywhere. Thankfully, the Fraccion was being very soft spoken. "I have learned how you both have struggled, and I have seen the love which you confess. And I am not convinced." Perhaps Masayoshi would feel the way Marc intended. Like a child being questioned by a knowledgeable parent. "You would tell me your feelings are rich and true, and that your affiliation with the Gotei does not hinder you in anyway." Pausing for a moment, letting those words sink deep. This hook needed to settle well, before the old man reeled in.
"Tell me then...how could I ever trust you with my daughter, when your devolution is so swiftly shifted?" Yes. That is right. Think about it. Masayoshi was willing to kill Llusia, for the commitment he made to his Shinigami brethren. Even now, he threatened to strike Marcelius if the need arose. And all of this, was years of training and ideology that Masa had developed. Decades and decades of conviction to the ideas and beliefs of the Gotei. Now...he would turn on all of those promises and oaths...to swear his love for his kind's greatest enemy? Really? "If you can turn your back on the Gotei, their beliefs, and their rules...all of the institutions you have held dear through your life and growth as a Soul Reaper...then what could possibly keep you faithful to Llusia? What new incentive would prevent you from turning on her, when your fancies change or life becomes too hard?" Though spoken as a question...the words were utterly rhetorical. And with them, Marc lowered his eyes in both disappointment and disdain. "You have nothing to offer me as evidence or proof...that your words or the bond you wish to share with MY Llusia...will last.". Oh...there was no leniency with him. That much was sure. "So, I cannot allow you to see her. And as such, will continue to ask until the life runs out of me...stay away from my daughter." As the conclusion of his speech echoed throughout, their shared vision would cease. The last thoughts left within Masa's mind, were of a father's loving plea. They would return to the world as though no time had elapsed. The conversation feeling more like a memory than a chat. But what would become of his devout efforts....was left for the children to decide.
Glaring, struck silent by it all, an old man did what he could to restrain himself. To keep his thoughts focused, and his words tempered. The situation was...unpleasant, beyond the expression of words. Few times had the he felt such a pit in his chest. Yes, a Hollow was feeling noticeably empty. How else could it be described? Even heartless, Marcelius felt such a pain of loss. It was though a dear loved one were dying, and with no way to prevent the inevitable. The source of this vacancy were the choices of another. Llusia, passionate and stubborn, had chosen quite a path for herself. One which Marc would have never condoned. One he never could. She practically leaped when he voiced his complaints, placing herself between himself and the Shinigami. This itself was odd, present company considered. In what world, this or the next, would Llusia have any reason to suspect Marcelius of hostility? When had he ever shown her any reason to think he was a being of violence? The answer was never. Not to his knowledge, at least. So for her to act as though he would strike at any moment could only mean she knew how truly he hated their partnership.
It is because of this, Marcelius would notice his own behavior. Realizing how he had spoken, how stern his voice had been. The problem was, this did not stop him. Knowing he was coming off as agitated or even hostile, he found no method by which to stop. No, they both needed to know how this affected him. As it was said, it was like watching a loved one fade away. "What is it...that you believe bothers me most?" For now his voice remained coarse and unmoved. His daughter's frustration and the Shinigami's earnest words did little to invoke his sympathies. "Do you suppose it is this affair? Your infatuations?" The stress it placed on him to hold back a torrent of feelings, remained quite clear. Closing his eyes, his lip quivering in the slightest of ways. Just enough for both to take note. Whether it was grief or anger, would be impossible to say. "You came to me, devastated by the actions of a Shinigami. Not once, but a second time. You tell me everything: of how you met him...of how you left him. For the second time, you sought my support...for what a Soul Reaper had done to you." Stepping now, so that he might be closer to Llusia; Marcelius wanted these words to be hers alone. "You accept my help. I rebuild what damage they leave behind...then what?" There are no glances to Masayoshi...at this point, he might as well not exist. This was not meant to be a cruelty per say...this was but a means to convey the old Fraccion's solitary fixation. After all...he was here for only one of them.
"You think it ends once you feel better. You think all the wounds are healed, when you no longer fret of the consequences. When the pain you found while seeking indulgences has left." Yes, indulgences. To Marc they were not worthy to be called romances. "What you do not know, what you do not feel...is the pain within me. A suffering made of more than heartache. A torment, constructed of anxiety and fear. Anxiety that you will go out again. That you will fall prey to the desires and cravings of others. Anxiety...that you will be yet another victim. And fear. Fear...that such a fate is what you desire most. To lose yourself in torrents of lies about love, hoping that with enough deceit, you might forget your troubles." By the time he began to speak of his fears, his very sure began to shiver with terror. The other's would not have to understand, or even empathize with it...but they could not deny it's shift. This was a father, living in constant worry. "And what do I find, when I seek you out? My little girl, hanging from a rail...threatening to end her own life.
There was almost a laugh in his speech, but if it were there...it would be of only shock and disbelief. "Better still. The only thing keeping her from death, is the man she nearly killed. A man who, on her last encounter, attacked the moment he learned she was a Hollow." Now the astonishment hinted by his momentary laugh, became abundantly clear. "I find you, ready to leap to your death, and you tell me "I would have survived." If that is true, then you were only playing a prank. To that I must ask, what kind of love is built with tricks?" Where his words had started with vigor, possessing all the charm a pulpit might need...the ending was solemn. "And then you would go so far as to ransom your own happiness. To threaten the one who holds you so dear, with your eternal sorrow. Do you not know, what such words do to me? Would you tear the hole in my chest wider still?..."
The elder tilted his head, as if fighting the urge to look away. His teeth sank into the flesh of his inner lip, a method his Hollow side always used to soothe his nerves. Here it did not work...instead, it only added to his grief riddled appearance. "Llusia...", both of his arms raised, each of his large hands clasping hold of her shoulders. "I want you to quit this obsession of yours. This game in which you create affections and try to twist them into something they are not." His hands clasped hard against her shoulders, conveying the desperation of his message. "Behave with the wisdom your age should possess. Let real love find you...rather than destroy yourself chasing its ghost." What he thought next, he could not dare say aloud. There was too much hurt connected to the thought. "Though I am here now, to mend the pieces others leave behind...I will not always be so." Yes. The final tragedy which every father must face...the reality that they cannot protect their children forever.
And with such a notion now firmly plastered into the framework of his mind, he hugged her close. His arms practically engulfed the petite girl, while his block of a head rested against her own. Hugging her close, he could already feel he was losing her. Long before his death had even arrived, she was fleeting from his care. the hug was tight, holding her close so she coud understand just how much she really meant to him. Why it was impossible for him to not follow her, when she had given him such much cause for alarm. The sincerity of the Arrancar would also be quite evident to the Soul Reaper; who could see clearly from where he stood. Ah, but what of the suitors message? His pledge of feelings and profession of commitment? Oh...it was in no way unnoticed. With Llusia locked into his hug, their eyes were free to greet one another. Hearing how deeply the Shinigami had drawn upon his creativity...to answer in the way he thought was best and most respectable; Marcelius saw every reason to repay such effort. Hopefully, it would not overwhelm the child.
How many Shinigami of Masa's age or skill, travel freely to their inner world? Is it rarity, or routine? With the level of clarity Marc could hear Masayoshi's Inner Spirit speak, the trip should appear quite routine. Therefore, it would be no terrible shock to his system, when the Death God found himself within the realm of Kikenkaze. He would notice almost immediately, the decorum of his inner world. Today, however, a new feature would dot the massive scape. The talk figure of the senior Arrancar. Within this realm, a construct of mind and soul, the two would talk in private. Standing alone, with Llusia no where in sight. The only other resident free to join there privacy, was Kikenkaze hersel...ves. As high spirited as she is, most certainly she would be here to add to their exchange. This was to be a full conversation, in the blink of an eye. Well, as much of a conversation as being talked at could be. Marcelius was only here to share his thoughts, not to consider the boy's...we will see how that pans out. "Leave my daughter alone."
The old man stated with a chilly disconnection. "I will ask, until my voice gives out. I will ask until my lungs no longer have strength. Leave my daughter alone." But his ill temperament quickly faded. Shinigami or not...this was a man whom could be reasoned with. Or, so Marc hoped. Having displayed a genuine amount of courtesy, there was reason to believe he would continue to listen. Let's see if this gamble would work out. "Llusia has told me everything that has happened between you two. More even, than she might have realized or intended." Hopefully the Death God could adjust to the way Marcelius sounded within his soul. A voice that came from everywhere. Thankfully, the Fraccion was being very soft spoken. "I have learned how you both have struggled, and I have seen the love which you confess. And I am not convinced." Perhaps Masayoshi would feel the way Marc intended. Like a child being questioned by a knowledgeable parent. "You would tell me your feelings are rich and true, and that your affiliation with the Gotei does not hinder you in anyway." Pausing for a moment, letting those words sink deep. This hook needed to settle well, before the old man reeled in.
"Tell me then...how could I ever trust you with my daughter, when your devolution is so swiftly shifted?" Yes. That is right. Think about it. Masayoshi was willing to kill Llusia, for the commitment he made to his Shinigami brethren. Even now, he threatened to strike Marcelius if the need arose. And all of this, was years of training and ideology that Masa had developed. Decades and decades of conviction to the ideas and beliefs of the Gotei. Now...he would turn on all of those promises and oaths...to swear his love for his kind's greatest enemy? Really? "If you can turn your back on the Gotei, their beliefs, and their rules...all of the institutions you have held dear through your life and growth as a Soul Reaper...then what could possibly keep you faithful to Llusia? What new incentive would prevent you from turning on her, when your fancies change or life becomes too hard?" Though spoken as a question...the words were utterly rhetorical. And with them, Marc lowered his eyes in both disappointment and disdain. "You have nothing to offer me as evidence or proof...that your words or the bond you wish to share with MY Llusia...will last.". Oh...there was no leniency with him. That much was sure. "So, I cannot allow you to see her. And as such, will continue to ask until the life runs out of me...stay away from my daughter." As the conclusion of his speech echoed throughout, their shared vision would cease. The last thoughts left within Masa's mind, were of a father's loving plea. They would return to the world as though no time had elapsed. The conversation feeling more like a memory than a chat. But what would become of his devout efforts....was left for the children to decide.